Originally Posted by jp4m2  I feel for you...at only 18 and already having relationship problems....not off on a good note...
My own DD had at one time gone through the same type of relationship and she would be more miserable than content, so I had to pose some tough ?'s for her to think about, as in....
If it's this bad now where do you see yourself in 5 years?....As big as a jerk he is what does that say about you?...Why do you find him so appealing, so attractive, so great to be with?....Why do you expect so little from a man?...Maybe it's not him?...What kind of life with a man are you looking for, is this it?....Could you see him being a good dad?...What if your own daughter brought him home, would you approve?....
He's no longer around....I think we as women expect our men to be our lives, where as for men they are there to share our lives....Once we women get a man all else seems to fall by the wayside, we feel we must be available at all times for them, our social lives tend to stop and we stop growing in all ways.....men are not responsible for making us happy....my, what a burden to place on another human being...I would not like to fill those shoes....we need to stop blaming men, society or anything else for our own personal disappointments...
Men are not talkers, there doers, a man will change your oil, fix your broken chair, & pick up your dinner to show he cares, most men are not going to spend time on a phone as if he's one of our girlfriends....If I tried to tell my DH one of my stories the way I would tell a girlfriend, with every minuscule detail, I would see his eyes rolling up in his head, to much detail for a man.....to much talking....I have to remind myself men don't need all the details...
I'm not saying to leave him or to stay, that is for you to decide, but I do hope if you stay you have a very long engagement, like 4-5 yrs....
Love is not enough, you must also have admiration, respect, honesty, acceptance, supportiveness, thoughtfulness, openness,a similarity of life's values and a wonderful sense of humor to make the long haul with a mate....
I hope you make this decision with your head and not your heart, because your heart will lie, the heart is fickle, the emotions you feel for him in your heart will fluctuate with the wind, one day you are walking on air the next day you want to hit him in the head with a baseball ba....,where as your head will give you honesty and common sence, take your emotions out of the equation and then decide.....Take your time....Just from a mom's point of view...imo |