I don't think that mkaes you a bad mom at all, I think it's good that you are teaching your children about responsibility. They should be expected to do chores in order to earn allowance. If they choose not to do what is expected of them, then they will deal with the consequence!
If a chore chart will work for them/you-that's great, but I think 10 and 13 might be a little old for something like that, depending on your individual kids. Something my mom (and my grandma with her children) used was that if a child complained about doing a chore that was generally expected of them, they got a warning. The next complaint resulted in the assignment of another chore. If that was disputed, the list got longer!
So, for example, if I complained about doing the dishes, I was warned once, and then it was the dishes and the kitchen floor. If I whined about that at ALL, then it was the dishes, the floor, and a load of laundry to fold-and believe me, there are some strong and stubborn women in my family, and I've heard about how long those lists can get!
The great things about this is that 1) they get chores done 2) they learn about responsibility and consequences 3) you get chores done that you would normally have to do yourself 4) there's no "grounding" of any kind-the kids do their jobs, and they're on their way to do what they want!
It's beautiful, and I plan to use this with my children someday! |