I was so pleased to see your thread V. It's good to have you back. We have missed you. Breaking down in odd places is normal, it will take time I'm afraid, but it will get better.
Don't feel guilty, I'm sure you did all you could. One day all your memories will be happy ones.
My thoughts are with you and the three girls. Sending lots of hugs and love your way, and a rose for you and the girls -
