Thank you all - man you guys can touch my heart with such impact - and thanks LilBit - I'm going to look into that - my poor baby just screams when I try to leave and I'm so worried one day I could accidentally shut the door on her - not to mention this new 'running' out the door - she never did this before - never.
Some of you know I post on 2 sites - well - the 2nd I can't access (it was hacked) and my post here includes those people too - I hope I don't get in trouble for saying that
I'm hoping this medication will help me from breaking down like I've been doing - I even lost it in the grocery store last week and I just can't interview like that - no one would hire a basket case so I'm really trying to get myself together so I CAN start looking again for work - having a 6 year gap in my resume isn't helping that's for sure but there must be someone out there who will hire me.
I was told by hospice to give it at least 2 months but don't really know if I HAVE that long (financially) - as I said - one day at a time. I never dreamed it would be this hard to accept losing him - people think when one is ill you have a chance to at least say goodbye - I don't feel that at all - if anything I wish I could have him back just one more day so I can say the things I've been saying to him since he died and hug him as hard as I could. He thought he had a year or 2 left and I personally was worried but never dreamed 2 days after calling hospice he would die....he was excited about the new oxygen machine and meds they gave him and very animated the day they were here - then boom - he was gone.
