[Archie's Mom]

Finally! I got a photo to use as evidence in Archie's trial! For months he's been observed looking right at me and pretending to take a bite out of the coffee table when he feels he's not gettting the proper attention. He literally dares me to snatch him up and tear up his little behind (yeah, like I WOULD!) -- and if I yell "No!" it just makes him all the more bold. I've never been able to catch him in the act when I've had the camera handy -- but I finally got the little *^#@^$)*%@-er on film! His eyes even look possessed -- though he may use that at trial to claim "the devil made me do it!"

I think this is enough to convict him and send him away for a looonnggg time, don't you think?