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celstu1 · 08-17-2007, 10:54 AM

Girl,
I spent 10 years with a guy. From 19 until 28 years old. We broke up 2x in those 10 years for about 9 months each time. He heard I was doing something drastic, dating someone else, moving away maybe and he was right back up my A$$. I took him back. After the 2nd time we bought a house even though I didnt want to, I wanted to get MARRIED. He wouldnt even talk about marriage... stupid me (at 25) thought that marriage would follow the house so i went along and bought the house. Well almost 2 years later he DOES propose. We start planning the wedding... get the hall, DJ, photographer, my dress, bridesmaid dresses, decorations, etc.... and he decides he does not want to get married. So he breaks up with me, leave ME to meet with all the vendors and cancel the wedding... so I make him prepare the house for sale, all while not living there (kicked his sorry butt out) and we sell the house and I bought my own place. Its been 2 years since we broke up. (Oh the b*stard took the ring back too... it was worth $11,000 - would had made a nice downpayment for a new car!!!)
Anyways, I BARELY made it through the 2nd break up emotionally. In b/t when we were together he was always threatening to leave. Or hed get mad and leave for a night. He made me feel like it was all my fault and most of the time I felt like I was going crazy. In my head I barely knew my A$$ from my elbow.

Finally it clicked. The last breakup.... that was IT for me. The final straw. It was SOOOOOOOO HARD! I cried as I packed up the house, I cried as I signed the paperwork at the closing. I cried the next day as I signed the paperwork to my brand new (beautiful) townhouse. I cried unpacking the truck. I pretty much cried morning, noon and night! But no matter who asked me ... my answer was always "I AM FINALLY DONE!" no matter how sad I was. I would not EVER put myself through this again.

The years slide by soooooooo quickly. You have been with this guy off & on for 4 years. Imagine if you let him go 2 years ago?? You'd be over him by now. And trust me you WILL get over him!! Imagine that????

Its more painful to stay IN the situation than it is to finally set your resolve to be out of it. Yes initially getting out is HELL ... BUT you get over it. You do! However if you stay in it, you are always unsure, your selfesteem suffers, you suffer, your sense of self-worth suffers... you lose the ability to trust, to be honest to yourself and then you start to HIDE all the things that he does wrong that you know your family & friends would disapprove of, or that embarrass YOU cuz you are still with him and you know hes a D*CK! It becomes not worth it... and the years slide by as you are living them in shame of who you are and what you've become just to keep some sub-par relationship with some idiot of a guy.

don't let it happen! (((HUGS)))

08-17-2007, 10:54 AM	#4
celstu1 Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 10,534	Girl, I spent 10 years with a guy. From 19 until 28 years old. We broke up 2x in those 10 years for about 9 months each time. He heard I was doing something drastic, dating someone else, moving away maybe and he was right back up my A$$. I took him back. After the 2nd time we bought a house even though I didnt want to, I wanted to get MARRIED. He wouldnt even talk about marriage... stupid me (at 25) thought that marriage would follow the house so i went along and bought the house. Well almost 2 years later he DOES propose. We start planning the wedding... get the hall, DJ, photographer, my dress, bridesmaid dresses, decorations, etc.... and he decides he does not want to get married. So he breaks up with me, leave ME to meet with all the vendors and cancel the wedding... so I make him prepare the house for sale, all while not living there (kicked his sorry butt out) and we sell the house and I bought my own place. Its been 2 years since we broke up. (Oh the bstard took the ring back too... it was worth $11,000 - would had made a nice downpayment for a new car!!!) Anyways, I BARELY made it through the 2nd break up emotionally. In b/t when we were together he was always threatening to leave. Or hed get mad and leave for a night. He made me feel like it was all my fault and most of the time I felt like I was going crazy. In my head I barely knew my A$$ from my elbow. Finally it clicked. The last breakup.... that was IT for me. The final straw. It was SOOOOOOOO HARD! I cried as I packed up the house, I cried as I signed the paperwork at the closing. I cried the next day as I signed the paperwork to my brand new (beautiful) townhouse. I cried unpacking the truck. I pretty much cried morning, noon and night! But no matter who asked me ... my answer was always "I AM FINALLY DONE!" no matter how sad I was. I would not EVER put myself through this again. The years slide by soooooooo quickly. You have been with this guy off & on for 4 years. Imagine if you let him go 2 years ago?? You'd be over him by now. And trust me you WILL get over him!! Imagine that???? Its more painful to stay IN the situation than it is to finally set your resolve to be out of it. Yes initially getting out is HELL ... BUT you get over it. You do! However if you stay in it, you are always unsure, your selfesteem suffers, you suffer, your sense of self-worth suffers... you lose the ability to trust, to be honest to yourself and then you start to HIDE all the things that he does wrong that you know your family & friends would disapprove of, or that embarrass YOU cuz you are still with him and you know hes a DCK! It becomes not worth it... and the years slide by as you are living them in shame of who you are and what you've become just to keep some sub-par relationship with some idiot of a guy. don't let it happen! (((HUGS))) __________________ “Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.” ― Dean Koontz