 I'm such a Wreck.
I am so sick over ALL of this. It's not just the $$ I'm just having a terrible time with the fact that my ONLY options are to either have his leg amputated and hope for the best or put my baby down. This is a position I would not want to see ANYONE in. It's a horrible horrible spot to be in. As I explained under the sick/emergency forum, Newman's tumor has never been seen in the foot pad. It's an unknown yet this vet somehow gives up (After over a week of waiting) statics of 89 percent survival rate. Hubby asked how can you give this kind of rate when it's something you nor any of the oncologists at Penn have ever seen. He had no answer except to say that he bases it on other tumors in other areas. My boy is 10 years old with a collapsing trachea and it's a lot to put on him. I feel selfish putting him through it but on the other hand the vet has made us feel as if we are selfish in putting him down. I can't figure out whether to cry or throw up. I've been hysterical all day and as time passes I'm getting more and more upset with putting him through this surgery. I'm pretrified of losing him during or as he stays alone at the hospital. Part of me feels that by putting him to sleep atleast he'd be in my arms while he goes. Sorry for rambling. I have never been such a wreck. I just feel sick and now the cost too seems to be climbing higher and higher from what we were originally told. Plus I'm worried about Jersey being spayed tomorrow. She's so small (4 lbss) and I have that post on my mind about that poor gal losing her pup during a routine spaying. I think I just need to take two tylenol PM and go to sleep. Elaine |