[IluvLucy]

I had problems with my inlaws when my sons were younger. (They're mine from a previous marriage)

His family didn't want anything to do with me or the kids. We didn't tell them when we got married, just my family who all came with us when we married.

After a couple of very tense holidays, I told my husband that the kids and I weren't going to any more of his family events and we didn't. Almost immediately, my husband stopped going, too. His mother called me and apologized, but I knew she wasn't sincere so we still didn't go.

When my sons were grown, hubby's parents' heath began failing and my husband took care of them day to day, but still refused to go to holidays at their house.

His mother had surgery several years ago and was bedridden for quite a while afterwards. For my husband's sake, I cleaned their NASTY house, cooked for them, and took care of them until she was up and about, all while working full time. His brother and SIL told us up front they weren't going to do anything and they didn't. (They're a**holes)

When my husband died, I fought with them tooth and nail over where to have the funeral, where to bury him, and then over property we bought while we were married. They didn't like any of the arrangements I made.

They're in really bad shape now and their only living son and his wife still refuse to help them. NOW they realize how good I was to them!!! My MIL calls me once a week and is always telling me she loves me and that I was the best thing that ever happened to Mark, etc.

The only thing I can tell you is to do what you think is right. It'll all come out in the wash.