Dear Diesel,
I talked to my mommy, and she said you can come live with us. I need a brother to play with, and they don't do pigtails here. I think they know better because they tried a topknot once, and I just took it out. If you come here, I'll show you how. And, I can show you how to take your clothes off too! I'm a pro at getting my clothes off. They really spoil me around here, so come live with me!
Love,
The Jakester