i'm sorry that you're hurting.
when my grandfather passed away recently (feb) i felt like you do. but i'm the person that made sure everyone else was ok. my mom, my sisters, even my aunts. i had a few tiny moments with my husband where i couldn't hold it in anymore. and finally about a month later i let all the crying out.
i still have moments now where i am doing something that makes me think of him or memories we have (had) together and it stops me in my tracks.
i will say that i don't know what to say to comfort you--and that is what i can offer. it made me so mad when people would say, "meant to be" or "in god's hands." they say that because they don't know what else to say.
if you want to be left alone or in peace, then you hide. and when you are strong enough and ready to be with someone, then you decide when that will be.
*thinking of you*
tina |