I understand how you feel because I have also been there. I got pregnant the 1st time right away but tried for almost 5 years before getting pregnant with my second child. (my boys are 9 years apart and we started trying when my oldest was 4) I too used clomid but I know how painful it can be especially when you see someone get pregnant who probably shouldn't be a parent at all or worse yet, doesn't want to be a parent at all. I hope things work out for you - I think some day you will look back on this and things will have worked out exactly how they are supposed to and you will have a beautiful perfect child to love.
Theresa