Shana~ I am so sorry you've having to go thru all these ups and downs, but it WILL get better! I know you're not making excuses; everyone goes thru periods where it seems like everytime you make some headway, something else happens to put you even further behind! I hope you find a really good assistant and that everything starts coming together; sounds like you're on the road forward! You're going to make a great mom and what you do is done with integrity and class, so I, among so many others here, admire what you're doing and have complete trust that you will do the right thing.
Good luck to you and just take care of you and that (going to be) beautiful baby!
__________________ Seana and Max and Madison too!
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