This is a LONG post, but sure to make 40- and 50-somethings feel good! As some of my
friends were hitting 40 and edging nearer to 45, I happened upon this article in 2003. Now that I'm sneakin' up on 42, it makes me feel even better ...
45 is the new 30; fortysomethings are the new babes
BY ELANA ASHANTI JEFFERSON AND BARBARA HEY
The Denver Post
Thank goodness for changing times and youthful spinmeisters.
Forty-five is the new 30, according to the authors of Buzz: Harness the Power of Influence and Create Demand, (Wiley & Sons, $27.95), a book by three Manhattan-based marketing executives who argue that word-of-mouth carries more weight with today's consumers than media or advertising.
According to these marketing mavens, the word-of-mouth phenomenon is responsible for a cultural shift in which women 40 and up -- at least those who can afford trendy fitness trainers and lavish beauty services -- are society's new sex symbols.
Hello, Demi. If a 40-year-old can be half as bodacious as Demi Moore, a ''mature'' actress who sauntered onto the stage of the 2003 MTV Movie Awards in a clingy, satin mini-dress and knee-high boots that stretched like Saran Wrap across her sculpted calves, well, damn! Bring on middle age.
The Buzz authors argue Moore is simply the latest celebrity to further the baby boomer bombshell trend.
''When Princess Diana died at age 36, people kept referring to her as being at the height of her beauty,'' says Buzz co-author Marian Salzman. 'Now, Madonna is on the cover of People magazine talking about great sex in her 40s, Sharon Stone is as desirable as ever, and Rudy Giuliani's new `trophy bride' [Judith Nathan] is a 48-year-old-woman.''
Times they are a changin'. Fifteen years ago, 30-somethings religiously watched thirtysomething on TV. The idea that 40 would be more of the same would have been hard for them to swallow.
`HOT YOUNG THANGS'
Now, Katie Couric, Angela Bassett, Susan Sarandon, Michelle Pfeiffer and Sonia Braga trump ''hot young thangs'' such as Carmen Electra in the world of male fantasy, the Buzz authors say.
On the surface, the trend gives today's 30-somethings solace. If Janet Jackson can woo 20-something Justin Timberlake, which she did last summer after the Prince of Pop broke up with Britney Spears, there's hope for women who think more years translate into fewer dates.
Ladies, notions of age and lifestyle have evolved. In Gail Sheehy's 1977 book Passages (Bantum, $8), the author uses the phrase, ''The Forlorn 40s.'' In The New Passages (Ballantine Books, $15.95) published in 1996, Sheehy's outlook is less bleak: ''Imagine the day you turn 45 as the infancy of another life,'' she writes.
Sheehy's change of heart surely reflects what happened to her as the years passed -- aging wasn't as doom-filled as she originally anticipated.
Regardless of Sheehy's new outlook, or the philosophy forwarded by the authors of Buzz, some women continue to have more hang-ups about getting older than actual hangers in their closets.
Case in point: an exchange at Redfish in Boulder, Colo. One 45-ish woman, who, according to Buzz is just a 30-year-old with a few more miles on her, boogied off the dance floor and was promptly congratulated by a 25-ish married couple.
''I was just saying to my husband that I hope when I'm your age, I can still have as much fun as you do,'' the beaming wife said with a nod to the man who's likely to be her ''first husband'' by the time she turns 40.
Another scene from the front: A 40-ish buff babe sits at a bar. A college man leans in to order a drink, bumps her elbow and says, ``Sorry, Mom.''
ZOMBIES AT 30
Thinking like this turns women into zombies around their 30th birthdays.
For some, depression sets in weeks beforehand. Others spend their 30th acting like it's any other day. Reality sets in a week or two after cutting the cake when Ms. 30 becomes so glum her only option is to practice her well-honed coping mechanism: She curls up on the couch with a pint of ice cream.
These women should wake up to the fact that aging fears often are more pronounced in youth. As years pass, birthdays are no longer seen as mileposts on the march to the assisted-living facility but opportunities to celebrate still being in the game.
Dig a bit deeper into the Buzz philosophy and the premise becomes that the 30s are this bubbly, carefree, uninhibited time when people are old enough to know their limits but young enough to still party. It's as though the door to frivolity swings opens at 21, begins closing at 30, then slams shut at 50.
Not true. In the real world, most 40-somethings are not like Demi Moore, frolicking with a 20-something boyfriend (Ashton Kutcher) while her children are safely in the care of a nanny.
Real world 40-somethings are not home watching Lawrence Welk reruns, either.
Many women in the 40-plus crowd are shaking their stuff with the best of 'em. And, they
might just choose to be in the company of men many years their junior.
That raises one more reason the Buzz trend is suspect: Single men in their 20s have no game. They sleep late, talk trash, avoid domestic chores unless charcoal is involved and plan their time around guzzling beer with pals, as captured by Coors Original's latest ''Ultimate Guy's Night Out'' commercials. It's difficult to conceive why a 40-something woman would care to expose herself to such behavior.
That is probably why most unmarried women of Demi's generation are either dating (or looking to date) 30-, 40- or 50-somethings. Unfortunately, many of those men act as though their ideal mate is a fresh-faced, dewy-eyed 20-something.
The physiological passage of time also cannot be spun out of existence. While ''mature'' women are hitting their sexual prime, their male counterparts are lining up behind Bob Dole, palms extended, requesting pharmaceutics to enliven their limp social lives.
DO YOUR THING
So here's an idea that sounds novel but shouldn't: Live as though age isn't a factor. If dropping by a nightclub or donning a bikini sounds appealing, do it. If the thought of such youthful activities prompts exhaustion or embarrassment, forget it. The best lesson of maturity is this: Do what you want and pass on the rest.
Just don't give up youthfulness because the years are accruing. Instead, have faith in the only time-tested fountain of youth: diet and exercise.
Also, a sense of style obscures aging. No longer do 40-plus women need to abdicate to middle-aged hairdos (curled and short, sprayed into compliance) or sensible rather than attractive clothes.
Bottom line: people don't have expiration dates. The winds of time, blown by market research, have blurred notions about age and lifestyle.
That's the real buzz.