I am at a loss for words....What a nightmare. You have lived a nightmare....I pray for Zackie...I am not sure you ever get over it. I had 2 ferrets. one died suddenly April 3 2006. No idea why he was bouncing around curled up in his bed and died....May 2006 (yes Mother's Day of all Days) My remaining ferret was helping me with laundry he curled up in the warm sheets and fell asleep in the middle of the floor. My daughters friend walked thru the living room stepped on the sheets and broke his back. He did not die instantly. I had to hold him for 10 minutes. HORRIBLE Yes, you are lucky Zackie did not suffer. Do not try to "get over" Zackie leave a part of your heart for him. I look at my ferrrets picture and still cry. And thats okay. I go to where they are buried and I talk to them. Just last night I sat behind the garage where they are and talked to them. It was 70 degrees at 8 at night (rare here in MI) And I told them they would enjoy the warm grass and warm air. I have Bella and Diggy (2 yorkies) They do not replace my Murphy and Willis they hold a whole different part of my heart. Leave part of your heart to Zackie...but open it up to new love. My yorkies helped me sooooo much. Im not saying run out and get another yorkie now but leave your mind open to new love. Maybe you can get a different breed if you think it will remind you too much of Zackie. I think you should allow yourself to be reminded of him. WHen you are reminded think of the love Zackie has for you and the good times! I know easier said than done. I was a disaster for weks but eventually could control it. Never went away, just controlled. I wish you all the best. By any chance are you catholic? Im not making this a religious thing but I found peace in at Hallmark, they have Saint Charms...and I have St. Francis charm on my Bellas collar and it says "Protect my Dog" It is especially for pets. Just an idea if you believe in that.
