[Allan]

I don't even know where to begin. Some of you may remember the picture of Zack that I posted a few weeks ago. Zackie was an adorable 5 pound Yorkie that I got when he was about 3 months old. He was going to turn 2 on May 30. Zack was the best dog I could have imagined. He never barked; was trained on wee wee pads (and only had infrequent mistakes); he was the friendliest dog around - everyone would stop me and ask how he became so social (with people, dogs, cats...) I just said I had no idea - that was just Zack from the moment I got him. He was also so cute. Other Yorkie owners would stop me on the street and tell me how cute he was. (I have attached his most recent picture to this post). Best of all, Zack gave me unconditional love. No matter what, he was my best friend. I would be at work all day and when I came home, all Zackie would want to do was kiss me and play and just sit on my lap. He never got upset and just loved everyone and everyone loved him.

Last night, I had to go to work and Zack was watching tv with my wife. After watching tv, my wife brought Zack to the main level of our apartment to put him back in his pen to go to sleep. Unfortunately, Zack jumped down and ran outside through an open French door onto our small terrace. He kept going and fell around 40 feet. This took place at around 2:10 am as I was on the way home from work. My wife was frantic. I called the police and they came and helped us go through the neighbor's house to get to the backyard behind our apartment. (The people who live in our building wiht backyard access were not home). As soon as I saw little Zackie, I knew he had died. I climbed over the fence and picked up my little baby. I will avoid the gruesome details for you all. Anyway, I carried Zackie up to our apartment and put the mattress from his bed into a box and lay Zack on top of that. I alos put some of his favorite toys in there with him. He looked so peaceful, almost asleep that I just stared at him waiting for him to wake up.

Zack stayed on his mattress in the box in our room all night. I could not sleep at all. I have not been able to stop crying since this happened. Zack was my best friend who was always there for me no matter what. No matter how hard life became, he was there to cheer me up. I just had someone pick him up who will hold his body until I can bury him. I decided to bury Zackie in my parent's backyard (they loved him as well). That way I can visit him as often as I like. I have never lost a pet before. In fact, other than goldfish, Zack was my first pet of any kind. I am absolutely devastated. I know it has been less than 12 hours, but how long will it take for this feeling of loss and utter devastation to go away? This is absolutely killing me. I miss him so much already and can;t stop thinking about all the fun times we had and how much I will miss not having him in my life in the future.

Please please please tell me that this feeling of loss and sadness will go away. I miss my pal Zackie and always will.

Thanks,
Allan