thank you everyone...you all are always so supportive and thanks to each and every one of you....today i'm pretty emotional and will post as best I can without sounding like a baby....there's some new symptoms that I've been expecting but I guess not really ready for 

 ....the worst part is my husband pretty much lost hope (thanks to his doctor) and won't go to the hospital.

  ..if I could get him there I'd feel so much better,  but he's not the kind of man you can call an ambulance for...he'd just refuse it.  
thanks so much for the posts...it really means alot to me