Thanks for all the help everyone....we have made her crate 1/2 the size and put a sock of my husbands in there with some of her blankets and toys....I sat down by her and she crawled on in and I shut the door and sat there then opened it etc and she seemed fine with it...she layed in there for a while and then this morring when I came out she was nuzzled up in the crate so i guess she is seeing it fore more then just when we go away.......the test will be when we go away for a bit today.....hopefully she will be confy and relax. So far it is looking good.....I hope everything will start to be on the up and up.
Time will tell. And thanks again for all your help.