[ChicagoSoul]

The answer just might be yes but I am petrified.
A month ago my life has made a terrible turn. Unexpectedly and unexplainably, the life of my baby has come to a tragic end. My yorkie girl, Manya, has died from an acute aspiration pneumonia.

She was 7 months old. I only had her for 2.5. She was so full of energy and so happy all the time - yet, she got a pneumonia and died in three days. Nobody, not even a doctor who has been practicing for over 50 years, has seen something like that happening to a healthy puppy. There was no cold, no virus, no nothing. Then, one day, she started coughing and I immediately took her to the emergency room. She had water in her lungs and they put her on oxygen. I was there at all times and she became better. The doctors said that she will be fine. But she was not. She died at the hospital. I won't bore you with the details of the nightmare. They shall stay with me forever. Nobody will ever be able to replace her. She was the star.
I've never had a better child to love.

Life had no meaning for a while. My breeder and boyfriend talked me into getting another one. I did. Yesterday, I brought her over from Kentucky. She is 9 months - slightly more than my Manya was. On top of that, she is a spitting image of Manya. She looks at me sometimes and it is scary how identical she looks. Yet, she is no Manya. Manya's spunky personality and zest for life will never be replaced.

I took her in to give her a better home. I want to make sure, however, that there is no undergoing problem with her just to be on the safe side. Is it bad?

She has an open fontanel but it is tiny and I am not worried about that. I also think that she has a luxating patella, but I am not a doctor to say if it needs to be operated on or not with certainty. This is OK with me too because if she needs a corrective surgery - I have money and a desire to make her better. I just hope I will be able to adore her as much as I adored Manya. Right now, I love her with my head more than my heart. I am committed to her the way a parent can be committed to a sick foster child. I hope it will change. I am scheduled to have an appointment with my doctor on Thursday. There is only one thing that I will not be able to sustain - any underlying respiratory condition that can cause her to get sick with a pneumonia again. I just don't think I will survive another death of a puppy like that. I wonder if it's too selfish of me.

Here is my new baby girl. I went to a Kentucky yorkie show yesterday, and people were stopping me all over the place to say how gorgeous this baby is. I hope she finds happiness in my home.