So, so sorry for your loss. You said you had three other babies ... while you can never replace the one you lost, you can hug those three all the tighter and maybe they can help fill the gap for you!
I had to put down our 11.5 year old almost a decade ago so I know how terrible that experience is. I swore I never wanted another dog. A week later, we went to "look" at puppies and I came home with
Ozzie, who has been one of the biggest joys in my life.
There is always a baby somewhere that needs love and will give back to you 10X over ...