My Locks of Love haircut......

[carolina yorkie]

Val, I absolutely LOVE the new haircut. And it was for a GREAT cause. I think Eli needs to go to the cancer unit to see the kids you have helped with your generosity and then maybe he'd feel differently. Or ask him how he would feel if that hair was helping his own child, would he be so emotionally wrecked then? Locks of Love is such a wonderful organization that would not be around if it were not for folks like you, who unselfishly, give of themselves!! to you Val!!

[Oscar's Mom]

You know Val, it sounds like Eli is just a little over the top on this one...you sure there is not something else going on with him...hair is just hair...it will grow back. It sure is not something that should mean enough to him that he would totally disregard your feelings and keep treating you this way. I think you should do a little digging on this one. Just a thought...

[bchgirl]

Originally Posted by Rockster's Mom

Sounds like there is awhole lot more going on with him than him just being mad at you for cutting your hair. I would ask him when he gets home tonight if something is bothing him besides your hair. I am so sorry that you are goin through this. But sometimes guys just let things build up inside of them and then just one little bitty thing like cutting your hair pushes them over the edge.

Agree...he is blaming the haircut, but I don't think the haircut is the problem.

[LaviniaHyacynth]

I agree with everyone that he has really over reacted to this haircut and might be harboring other issues. What would he do if Heaven forbid you became ill and lost all your hair....through a tantrum and leave you???? Enough is enough and he really needs to grow up. You look great and very sexy with your haircut....you are a beautiful girl and your haircut does not change that. For goodness sakes it is not even that short....most would consider it midlength. Eli is being a big jerk and you do not deserve this kind of treatment.

[fasteddie]

You did nothing wrong! It'd be one thing if you cut your hair to spite your husband, but you did it out of the kindness of your heart for some sick children! He really should see it as a sign of your goodness rather than a sign of you stabbing him in the back.

I would guess he's more upset you didn't tell him you were going to do it first (so it might be a trust issue in his eyes) and while he might be mad about it for a little bit, the length of time he is upset at you and his actions so far are rather extreme. I hope that he doesn't have more deep-seated control issues and that you guys can work it out. I don't think you did anything wrong at all and you don't need to apologize, but if you were to try to make peace with him (just to smooth things over), you may want to apologize for not telling him before you did it.

But he is totally overreacting. I would say the sooner you guys camn talk about it the better, as anger may build up on both sides. It's great that you are keeping your cool about it, things could get ugly in cases real fast such as this. I definitely agree with others, perhaps you can take him to see children that this charitable organization has helped.

[Dr. FE hat off now]

Oh yeah, and you look great with the new hair!

[Marie]

Val, Im so sorry that your husband have taken your haircut so bad. You honestly look very pretty and you didn't do it out of spite it was for charity. I really hope that he will snap out of it soon. And I agreed I think his anger comes from something more than just the haircut. Hugs to you.

[chewysmom]

aaawww, Vally! I am so sorry you are going thru this Eli is the opposite of my Big Daddy...he's always telling me to cut my hair into a bob

This does sound like it's something else and not just the haircut. Do you make a lot of decisions or plans without him? Maybe he is just reacting to being left out on some level? I kinda agree with Jenn on this...maybe you should just pop over to a friend's or your parents' house and spend the night. A little space may do you some good?

Good luck and you really do look great. It really isn't a bunch of people "just saying" it. It's true

[Passionfruition]

Originally Posted by chewysmom

aaawww, Vally! I am so sorry you are going thru this Eli is the opposite of my Big Daddy...he's always telling me to cut my hair into a bob

This does sound like it's something else and not just the haircut. Do you make a lot of decisions or plans without him? Maybe he is just reacting to being left out on some level? I kinda agree with Jenn on this...maybe you should just pop over to a friend's or your parents' house and spend the night. A little space may do you some good?

Good luck and you really do look great. It really isn't a bunch of people "just saying" it. It's true

Thanks. You're so sweet. As to your question, yes, we make almost every decision together. I've only had my hair cut once before and he went with me, and I sometimes go with him to get his cut too. I did mention I wanted to donate my hair again but he wouldn't listen and got upset every time I brought it up.... So he can't say I didn't tell him at all, but no I didn't call him the morning OF and tell him I was about to go do so (which is what he said I was WRONG for not doing). But do I have to call him at work to ask him before doing everything? "Ok, honey, I'm going to the bathroom to do a #2 now, is that ok?"

I share my life with him and I'm very open and honest, but I can't be "controlled"......I want to be myself, be spontaneous sometimes, make my own decisions. I'm married, not dead.

[red98vett]

Originally Posted by Passionfruition

I share my life with him and I'm very open and honest, but I can't be "controlled"......I want to be myself, be spontaneous sometimes, make my own decisions. I'm married, not dead.

Val I WISH he could see what you just said here !

Something else must be going on with him everyone knows it's ONLY hair & will grow back

now if you had it PLUCKED out strand by strand I could understand his anger

I have a feeling you both will be having one of those little 'talk' soon - and hopefully you can get to the REAL reason he's being such a butthead. I'm sorry he took the fun out of what you did - but there is 200+ people RIGHT HERE THAT ARE APPLAUDING YOU and think you look HOT !

[cindy0721]

Originally Posted by Passionfruition

Thanks. You're so sweet. As to your question, yes, we make almost every decision together. I've only had my hair cut once before and he went with me, and I sometimes go with him to get his cut too. I did mention I wanted to donate my hair again but he wouldn't listen and got upset every time I brought it up.... So he can't say I didn't tell him at all, but no I didn't call him the morning OF and tell him I was about to go do so (which is what he said I was WRONG for not doing). But do I have to call him at work to ask him before doing everything? "Ok, honey, I'm going to the bathroom to do a #2 now, is that ok?"

I share my life with him and I'm very open and honest, but I can't be "controlled"......I want to be myself, be spontaneous sometimes, make my own decisions. I'm married, not dead.

I agree with you..... well my two cents are the same as everyone else's.... hubby and I do everything together it's nuts...but I still cannot see him getting mad at me for cutting my hair...maybe laughing at me for a silly cut but that is about it..... he might be going through his male menopausal stage.... don't laugh I'm serious..... I am going on 4 years being married this June21st and when we were on 2 yrs... hubby went into this doubting stage... weird huh.... he doubted his marriage, job choice and life decisions in general..... but he got over it... no soon enough but that's something else...... hmmmmmm..... what does he do for a living????

[Passionfruition]

Originally Posted by cindy0721

I agree with you..... well my two cents are the same as everyone else's.... hubby and I do everything together it's nuts...but I still cannot see him getting mad at me for cutting my hair...maybe laughing at me for a silly cut but that is about it..... he might be going through his male menopausal stage.... don't laugh I'm serious..... I am going on 4 years being married this June21st and when we were on 2 yrs... hubby went into this doubting stage... weird huh.... he doubted his marriage, job choice and life decisions in general..... but he got over it... no soon enough but that's something else...... hmmmmmm..... what does he do for a living????

He's a software analyst/account coordinator for a software company that manages corporate health insurance info. for a major health insurance company. http://benefitfocus.com It's really growing and he should be so lucky as to be a part of such a revolutionary-run company that's going places, for sure. He's only had this job since January.

[cindy0721]

Originally Posted by Passionfruition

He's a software analyst/account coordinator for a software company that manages corporate health insurance info. for a major health insurance company. http://benefitfocus.com It's really growing and he should be so lucky as to be a part of such a revolutionary-run company that's going places, for sure. He's only had this job since January.

it's gotta be stress... or maybe it's a early mid life crisis..... you guys just gotta talk it out.... good luck... and kuddos to you for keeping your cool!

[chele]

Originally Posted by Oscar's Mom

Locks of Love would not return my email asking about color treated hair so we threw it all away. That bothered me more than anything that they never answered me either way and the hair was wasted. Even if they could not use it, I felt they should have let me know

Locks of love should have returned your email. They are very slow in answering anything thru mail so maybe they dont' answer emails at all but any way they DO accept color treated har and grey hair too. any hair that isn't useable for the childrens wigs they make adult ones to sell to offset the cost of the ones hey make and give away.



I agree with the others too it sounds to me like your husband has something else entirely bothering him. If it were me I woudl be very suspicious of what it was. and I would make him sleep somewhere else. Tell him that his recent attitude is making you sick you're breaking out in the urge to kick his a$$.

[chele]

Originally Posted by Passionfruition

I did mention I wanted to donate my hair again but he wouldn't listen and got upset every time I brought it up.... So he can't say I didn't tell him at all, but no I didn't call him the morning OF and tell him I was about to go do so (which is what he said I was WRONG for not doing). But do I have to call him at work to ask him before doing everything? "Ok, honey, I'm going to the bathroom to do a #2 now, is that ok?"

that sounds like an idea to me. call and say honey I'm thirsty what should I drink? then call back honey which glass should I use? then Ice or not?
tell him when he says something about it well I didnt' think they were they important either but I dont' know what your going to be throwing a fit over next.
I used to do things like that to my hubby but he takes a hint pretty well and figured out what to try to argue about and what to just get ove.

[Passionfruition]

Originally Posted by cindy0721

it's gotta be stress... or maybe it's a early mid life crisis..... you guys just gotta talk it out.... good luck... and kuddos to you for keeping your cool!

Hmm, early mid-life crisis? He just turned 25 last week. Could that have something to do with it?

And yes I would like to sleep over at my parents' for a night or make him sleep on the couch, etc......but I want to be careful as to not lash out and have anything to apologise for, in his eyes, I mean. I want the guilt to remain on his shoulders b/c so far I've done nothing wrong and remained nice etc. He knows it, too. I'm upset and want him to know what he's doing is hurtful....but I don't want to provoke him or give him any reason to think I also have ANYTHING to apologise for.

My mom is leaving for Africa on a trip for 3 weeks in the morning so I will go over to her house to "hang out" for a while this evening anyway so that will be good. Maybe he'll come with me and my dad can talk some sense into him, lol.