Anyone have a problem husband?
 

My husband doesn't want a dog in the house but the rest of the family(myself and 10yo son and 16yo daughter)want one very badly. I sneaked and got Chloe and he had a fit...after 2 months he demanded that I get rid of her,he thinks inside pets are nasty. Now after about 8 months since we had to give up Chloe we are wanting another one soooooo bad(we cried when Chloe left). He is not saying NO but he is still hesitant to say "yes". Has anyone else had this problem and if so,what do I do to help him to accept one?

Well I think you really did the wrong thing by sneaking the last dog, it's bad in terms of trust and i'm sure seeing the dog everyday left resentment for your husband. When I was younger and lived with my parents I tried to sneak pets all the time, and my mom would get angry that I couldn't just be patient and get a pet on her terms.

I think you need to talk to your husband, listen to how he feels about it. Tell him how you feel about it, perhaps bring in a 3rd party (counsler) and get down to the root of why he doesn't want a dog. The worst thing you could do is sneak another one. It's bad for the household as well as for the dog (since it had to be rehomed)

Communication is key, getting a dog needs to be a family decision which includes the husband.

I do hope you get your dog though.

So sorry your hubby does not like pets! I can't believe Chloe didn't steal his heart! My husband has completely fell head over heels in love with Katie Scarlett. She has him wrapped around her little finger. I hope you can talk your husband into it. My husband is pretty laid back and usually whatever I want, he does his best to see I have it. I am a bit spoiled. LOL. But maybe you could explain to your husband how sweet and loving Yorkies are. They do not shed much, if at all, from everything I've read. We have noticed a bit of hair in our brushes with KS, but none around the house. I know she is a puppy and has the occaisonal accident, but all puppies do. She is doing very good at her potty training. Could you explain some of this to your husband? Maybe bat your eyelashes at him? Tee hee! Good luck hon! I know how that feeling is. I 'wanted' KS for almost 8 years before we got her!!!

I would have to agree with TeddyGrahams. Taking on a dog is a huge responsibility and having an indoor dog even more responsibility. It does seem like there is something in your hubby's past that makes him think indoor pets are dirty and I think that issue needs to be addressed as well. I know some of the old timers used to think that way (my grandparents and their parents, etc.) It may be that your hubby was raised that way and may be his belief. Not sure if that can be changed as indoor pets can be dirty from the standpoint of hair shedding, potty accidents, getting sick and vomiting, etc. but they are also some of the best friends anyone could ask for. My hubby did not want another dog when I brought Jack home. Our other dog of 12 years had been put to sleep just a couple of months prior to me getting Jack. Actually I told hubby that I was going to "look" at puppies but wouldn't get one. He even sent me a text while my daughter and I were at the store. But it didn't take long for Jack to win his heart. Good luck. I hope you two come up with a solution that works for everyone.

All I can say is that poor dog. Dogs are not disposable!

I would absolutely not have a dog in that type of situation. You already had to get rid of one. It will just happen again. And then when it comes time for major veterinary bills which will come up, it will be an uphill battle when he doesn't like the dog and doesn't want to spend money on it.

I think because your husband does not like indoor dogs, it is best not to have one. IMO, it's the husband or the dog, but not both. That would make for a horribly upsetting life.

I would rehome the husband before I'd rehome my dog.

The only problem I have with my husband and yorkies is that he never said No.So now I have 4! lol He even paid for Pixie and Roxie. Maybe trying to involve him in the decision process would help. I wouldn't bring another one home until you have his full buy in. Yorkies can be challenging to house break and if he thinks inside dogs are nasty I'm pretty sure if you had a hard time housebreaking a puppy he would want you to get rid of the puppy again. I always let my DH name my dogs. When I was looking for my 2nd and 3rd dog, I would say I am just going to look. He would say take the money with because I know you are coming home with them.

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You don't get another one unless and until he is completely onboard with the idea. Strong arming or guilting him in to it because you want one is bound to cause more resentment and may very well end up with the next unlucky dog being disposed of, too. It should take everyone in agreement to bring an animal (or child for that matter) in to a relationship, but only one "no" to veto the whole thing.

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Please don't get another dog. Unless your situation has changed, it wouldn't be best for the dog.

http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/gen...st-im-new.html

I do agree,I would never bring another one into my home without his full approval but that is what I am working on,lol. I think it was more resentment for me sneaking it in then him not liking her. I have asked him to go with me next weekend to "look",I am hoping the adorable things will win him over,and if I let him "pick it out" I believe he will feel different about it. Another reason he thought it was nasty was because when I got her she had ringworms. Everyone in the family caught it from her including HIM.
I did have vet bills with Chloe because the previous owner didn't tell me but she had a broken leg when I got her and I had to have it fixed and also treating the ringworm. I know they can get worse than that but I think it would be worth it to have a tiny companion around.
I have problems with depression and when I had Chloe,she helped with that alot and I have told him that. He is definately considering it now,so hopefully the visit will win him over.

get rid of husband, get dog hahaha

Oh goodness, it was a bit of a nightmare start all round, wasn't it?!!? :) I truly hope it works out for you next time - IF it happens, and it's what you truly ALL want. Sally + Harry x

You messed up, twice.

No you shouldn't..unless you go get Chloe back...where did she actually end up? Do you go see her?

Dogs are not disposable.
If he thinks "inside" pets are nasty, well I think he's nasty-no dog is ever mean to be in a back yard & left to live there!
It's called cleaning, and animal compassion, proper treatment.

I would only apply this if the husband came after the dog, and it was purely a "doesn't like dogs inside" situation. Of course I wouldn't ever just "sneak" a pup in on a guy either.

This is a very important decision, and I can sort of see why he is more than just a little tentative about getting another...the whole family had ringworm from your last puppy adventure. Definitely get him involved in the process of finding the RIGHT pup for your family, talking to breeders, etc.

Maybe he is just opposed to yorkies? (I know, pish posh, but it happens!) Maybe look at other breeds, maybe a breed that is a little bit bigger would make him get on board a little easier? I like Havanese's (sp??) they have a long coat, and I still consider them small being under 25lbs, but they aren't as small as a yorkie.

Again, just get him involved in finding the puppy and maybe he can tell you exactly why he thinks dogs inside are gross. It could be the potty mistakes (which I would recommend a dog larger than a yorkie, small dogs = small bladders = accidents even as adults) You could always check our your local shelters, lots of dogs are being dumped due to this economy, so there are a lot of dogs fully trained needing homes. Just sayin' it could put your hubby at ease knowing he doesn't have to go through the potty training process.

Good luck!

amen!!!!

I had my dogds before hubby and he was great with them and they fell in love w him immediately.

When we lost our boys hubby said when Pixie goes he wants to be dog free for awhile as we have had dogs our entire marriage and he just wants to be free to do what we want for awhile.

I started fostering and HE failed with Nya.......which opened the door for me to get my little boy!! He said well Nya is close to Pixies age so he thought that was fine, plus she really stole his heart. Then a couple weeks ago I bring Jake a 2 year old in and he just rolled his eyes and said "we are never going to be dog free are we?" I just smiled. Then I said "You did not walk in halfway thru the movie, you knew what you were getting!!" LOL. Good thing he loves dogs as much as I do LOL

We were 'dog-free' for a couple of years after losing our labrador at age 14 and before getting Harry :aimeeyork. In our circumstance, we needed a period of grieving before we could even consider another - and the heartbreak that ultimately happens.

Those 2 years, looking back, were probably the emptiest, quietest, most awful time of our lives. We thought we'd go anywhere and do everything - but that's not quite how it worked out!! All we really did was miss the constant loving-ness around us - I believe this is far more important than all the freedom in the world :) Sally + Harry x

I had dogs all my life, after my 2 cairns died I couldn't live without another dog. My husband said we would never have a dog in the house , he was raised that dogs were to stay outside. After a 1 1/2 of me begging and cryiong because I felt so empty without a dog ( I had 2 cats) he surprised me with my precious Tessie (yorkie) on Mothers day 2 1/2 years ago. He let me pick her out. 6 weeks later he decided she needed a friend so I got a male Hobbes. Since then we have added another male (Calvin) and a female (Sassy) all Yorkies. they are all spayed and neutered. At first he would complain about the barking and potty training but he went out of his way to make sure they have everything they need and more. Now he is the one that spoils them the most. I would not have brought a dog home unless he approved. Since you had such a terrible first experience, and sad that you had to rehome Chloe, I would make sure your husband was ready for a dog. At first while my husband was adjusting to dogs in the house I cried a lot of tears afraid that he wouldn't adjust and want me to rehome them, but everything has woirked out great.Hopefully you will eventually have a sweet baby that your husband will love.

I need that last poster!

I agree. This is way too soon since rehoming Chloe to even be thinking about this. It really is cruel to keep putting dogs through this.

:rolleyes: clearly you arent married??? and if you are you have very little respect for your husband, and I say that in the nicest way I possibly can.
My husband and children come first before my pets. My husband was here first, he knew from the beginning how I felt about owning animals and although he became to love them unconditonally like I do, it took him awhile to come around. I would never bring an animal into my house without his approval, to me its not fair and its hugely disrespectful and I wouldnt expect him to go out and buy or get something without my approval, its how we keep our marriage thriving,honest and happy.
To the OP..Im sorry that you had to get ride of Chloe, but you should of never of brought her into your house in the first place without involving your husband, and you know that now. Like some one else has posted dogs are not disposable. Please do not go and get another dog anytime soon, give your husband some time to adjust to the idea, pressuring him will only make him more upset.
I hope it all works out for you...

Thanks to all the advice and sharing your experiences.
He has agreed to let us have one but I am not going to run out and get the first one I see. I am going to do alot of questioning him before we try it again to make sure he is truely on board. I told him if we got one that it couldn't be like it was before(the resentment) and he said ok,it wont be. Honestly I think he has missed Chloe too but would never admit it. He is going with me Saturday to "look" and I will definately be watching how he acts(I have been married to him for nearly 24 years,I know him pretty good,lol) about the puppies. Things will be different this time trust me,if we get one it is here to STAY!!!
I did find Chloe a good home,it was a lady that had lost her last yorkie of old age. I did keep contact with her for awhile but hated to keep being a pest to her. It broke our hearts to let her go but I knew that me messing up and sneaking her in and the way my husband felt about it that he would never stop harrassing me about her.
I am not the type to disgard pets. We had a jack russel for 7 years and she got ran over a few months ago and again I was heart broken.
Please don't judge me as a bad pet owner,it was just a bad situation that had to be resolved.

I love that 'real men love Yorkshire Terriers' sign! My hubby needs that for a bumper sticker on his truck! I'm sure he'd let me put it on....not! LOL. He wouldn't admit it to everyone in the world, but he totally feels that way!

I agree with what the other posters are saying too...you both need to agree before going forward. You don't want him to resent you for anything. But I really think that the whole relationship between the 2 of you is something that YOU know better than any of us. All marriages/relationships are different. For example, my husband is a big pushover. He pretty much just lets me have my way and I pretty much just let him have his way. This type of arrangement works great for us, but it may not for everyone. We always check with each other before making any kind of decision, but we both are very open and try to give the other what they desire whether it be a pet, a new car, or just somthing as simple as dinner. It's just how our relationship has always been. We are very happy this way. We never argue and have been happily married for almost 10 years, together 15. But I do realize that all relationships are different. I know that many couples are set up differently. So definitely look at how your relationship is. If you know in your heart he is totally against it, I agree with the others...do not get another Yorkie. Not only will it foster resentment, but it will also not be a good relationship for the Yorkie...and that should be #1. I agree that dogs are not disposable and the WHOLE family should be ready and want to bring this precious life into your home. I hope the visit to 'look' goes well for you guys. Those little faces can be quite adorable and may just take him over. I hope so and I hope you can bring a Yorkie into your home for a long, happy life!

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My hubby was not happy about the idea either... I got one anyhow. (He knew I would) But....... When he got home and saw her laying on the floor chewing on the new toys I also got that day, he said, so, you got your dog huh? I said yep, aint she cute? He said, Look out the window.... as I looked out the window I saw a new truck(used truck but new to him), He said, aint it cute?
This is just how my husband works though, I get what I want and he does not complain about it. I am spoiled and I know it. :)
Turns out he spent the exact same money on the truck that I did for the dog so it was only fair he got something too. *his words, not mine* And now, I cuss the truck that is sitting in my driveway with a flat tire (no need to fix it, he has 4 others he can drive) and he loves the puppy more than he ever imagined he would.

As a husband, regardless of the purchase, my wife and I always discuss it first. If the decision can't be mutally agreed upon, we don't proceed. It's called respect. If I had asked for a dog and my wife said no, out of respect for her, I wouldn't have brought one home. If my wife asked for a 10 carat diamond ring and I didn't agree, she might bring it home. No I'm just kidding.

Caring for an animal is a huge responsibility. Believe me I know (as I walked through the pouring rain this morning so Bailey could do his biz!). But it's more than that. An animal is part of your household, so all parties have to agree or the one who suffers is the animal.