My Puppy Will Not Be Cuddled
 

I now have four Yorkie Puppies Two Female Two Male.

One of my puppies (Robby) will not be picked up at all he just refuses to allow anyone to pick him up or cuddle him.

If we try doing so he will wriggle and fight until we put him down.

He will not take a treat from the hand and if we put it in front of him he will push it with his nose, pick it up and throw it in the air a few times, then he will eat it. After doing this he will take another treat from the hand.

We have been so concerned that we brought in a behaviourist (expensive) who spent two hours sitting observing Robby.

She eventually declared that we had an extremely happy and active little man who loves playing with the other three. (geezzz didn't know that).
She went on to say he is extremely timid (didn't know that either, do I sound sarcastic here) and we may never ever get him to come and enjoy a cuddle but should try doing it slowly over many months.

This little boy will come and put his legs up on mine as if to be picked up but as soon as I put my hand down he is away.

He is a joy to watch at play and he can eat like there is no tomorrow but ONLY if we lock him in his cage with his food with the other three left outside. He will clear his bowl every time but if given food outside he picks at it then leaves it.

We feel so bad that he is missing out on sharing love but we are told by the behaviourist that dogs are not meant to be picked up so we shouldn't worry too much.

I post this thread to ask if there is anyone out there who have a similar situation and if so how do they handle it.

:aimeeyork:aimeeyork:aimeeyork:aimeeyork:aimeeyork

This may be the wrong thing,but if it were me. I would lay in the floor and be on his level,let him approach me. Start out with all of the pups,if that is to much activity for him and he wont approach while the others are crawling all over you,try it with just him.
As for his treats,mine did this when I first brought her home. It was a trust thing,so I would act like I would take a bit and then give it to her. She has no problems taking things from my hand any more.
We do have a poodle like this. He is always the last to approach new people in the house,under the dining room table is his safe place where he can watch and not be touched until he is ready.
Good luck.

Mia was just like that when we first brought her home, she is almost seven months and is settling down quite a bit and will actually come and cuddle on her own.
She still dont like to be picked up to cuddle it as to be her that comes but she loves to cuddle now :) and she would wiggle so much when we would pick her up that i was scared i couldnt hold on lol.
must be a puppy stage.:)

Nilla was similar to this as well. When we brought her home, she HATED to sit on anyone's lap. I don't know if it scared her or what, but she didn't want to be held, petted, or loved on in general. Now if she's not playing, she wants to be in either my lap or my husband's, or sitting with us on the couch (it sometimes drives my dh insane!). I wouldn't give up hope on your baby boy! It's said that males crave more affection anyway, and if Nilla can do a 180, I'm sure he can and will too! Just keep showing him that you love him and he will probably come around.

My little boy was like that too and was very shy as a puppy. We spent alot of time working with him and exposing him to new things. Now he is such a lover boy. He wakes me with a little kiss (or a million) every morning and will come to cuddle. He comes to check with me throughout the day and sit nearby but likes to cuddle on his terms. He still is a shy outside the home but loves to go for a walk or bye bye in the car. He is cautious of strangers, will smell and greet them but will back away if they try to pick him up. I'm OK with that - no one else needs to be picking him up.

This puppy may not see you as a significant member of the pack and may be looking to one of the other dogs as a leader. Are they littermates? How old are they? Sorry if I missed this. When you bring a single puppy home they are dependent on you and only you. When you have multiple puppies/dogs, they dynamics of the pack changes and everyone has a role and a place in the pack, including the humans. You may have another little "pack leader" challenging you for your spot.

I wouldn't put too much thought into what the behaviorist said. She must not know yorkies too well.

Lillie was the same way. She didn't want to be picked up, cuddled or anything. She just liked playing with the others. I remember I would pick her up and try to give her a kiss and she would even turn her head away, lol.

She is now the biggest cuddle bug I have. She completely changed, she just needed to grow up first. She even sleeps under the covers snuggled up right beside me every night now. And now she loves my attention and being picked up, she will smile and dance for it.

Destiny was a bit like that as well when I first brought her home and I've heard many others who had yorkies that were the same way. They've all changed as they became adults.

Just give him time to grow up and show him love and affection. Once he matures I can bet you he will change and be a cuddle bug. Just let him enjoy his puppyhood for now.

Dogs don't have the need to be picked up and cuddled like humans have, and some dogs don't tolerate it well. Others learn not only to accept cuddling, but to thrive on it. I think it's important you train your dog to accept your hands, and when you pick him up, do a little grooming, and give him a reward, even if he is never a great cuddler, he should learn that hands give good things. Dogs that aren't great at cuddling, still love it if you hold their chewing sticks, and this is how I get a lot of one on one time with Joey. Don't confuse cuddling with showing love, cuddling doesn't show love to some dogs. Showing approval, and feeding and spending one on one time show love, but many dogs and most large dogs are never cuddled and get through life just fine. Also, instead of cuddling, try playing, most dogs love tug of war. Just remember the cuddling is more for the human than the dog.

I had a poodle once that was very independent and seemingly totally disinterested in human affections, didn't want to be held, etc. She was very, very task and play oriented though and trained very well. And she would play for an hour at a time alone with her toys, totally lost in her world of activity. She would have been a wonderful service dog for DEA or some such agency. Many people that train working dogs are looking for just such a temperament as the little boy you describe.

Being a Yorkie, though, with some age and maturity and that terrier ability to feel deep emotion and show it, I'll bet he will eventually warm up to personal affection - though his early indications are he will probably always be a task oriented dog and very well suited for training and a job of some sort.

:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:
I was JUST thinking he has a good temperament for a service dog. :)

The one thing I love about this forum is that we are never alone in here there is always a friendly voice to turn to who will offer help and advice.

I send my grateful thanks to those who have taken the time to answer my post as the answers given make me realize my little man is normal and this is a great relief to Joan and I.

I do get dow2n on the floor and play attempt to play with him but without the other three he will run off and hide.
If the other three are playing he will join in as he love to tug on soft toys.
If I have a toy in my hand he will play tug as long as I do and he can give as good as he gets from the other three.

He just does not like being touched and we are working on it but there is no way I am going to force him I will encourage but will not force.

I now look forward to him doing the "U" turn as he is loved so much by both of us.

Thanks again to all who took time to answer my question. ;)

Joey was a lot like that and cheerios given as a treat after grooming or holding helped him get use to being held. Cheerios are a nice treat for puppies because they are small and not calorie dense, dogs love them, use the unsweetened kind. They are a life saver at bath time. I think you have a great attitude and I'm glad you know not to force him, but to encourage. I wish all parents would learn this!

It sounds like you have a perfectly happy, normal, independent Yorkie.

My Lollie is the most loving, secure, intelligent, happy little gal around. She is very opinionated about being picked up - sometimes she wants to be picked up, other times she doesn't. She can be a huge tease, I can tell that she is playing by the look in her eyes.

[QUOTE=chattiesmom;3730305]It sounds like you have a perfectly happy, normal, independent Yorkie.

My Lollie is the most loving, secure, intelligent, happy little gal around. She is very opinionated about being picked up - sometimes she wants to be picked up, other times she doesn't. She can be a huge tease, I can tell that she is playing by the look in her eyes.[/QUOTE]

That is too funny!! :p

I forgot to mention Kaos doesn't like to be picked up either. If a stranger attempts to pick him up or anyone other than me he backs up or wiggles his way down. He wants to interact with EVERY one, just not in that way. :) AND he is the biggest snuggle bug I have ever met.

Good luck! :animal36

My Chachi didnt want to cuddle at all untill he was about 1 1/2 and then he became a big cuddle baby

I think many Yorkies are a little shy about being picked up or touched under some circumstances. I know Tibbe is a little particular about his little person and if is not ready to be picked up, he will wiggle away and snort and snort! If he wants to, he will lean into the pickup and "help". But that is just a Yorkie - they are so picky about just everything!

My little girl is this way too, she doesn't even like being picked up to be put on the couch, she cant jump up there yet, so she just tries, and then runs back if you try to pick her up to help her up. She loves playing with me, butt as far as showing any other affection, (besides nipping, though I'm not sure if that is affection) she doesn't unless she's scared and tries hiding behind my legs. So I am hoping she goes through the "U-turn" as well.

Yes I have this experience but with rescue dogs/puppy.

Give it time, but this may be your pups persona.

I'm concerned about the cost of your behaviorist rough. Most are $40 an hour or session $65 for those with an established career but it can be $120 for a session schedule and follow up unlimited support. Extra fees for more time. <<In my area consistent with the economy here, though higher in the cities.

Can I asked what you paid?
Was it by the hour, session what did it include?
Behavorist to me are invaluable.
Worth every penny what they do in a few hours lasts your dog's lifetime. However some (especially uncertified) posers charge exorbitant amounts & are full of well you can guess-check their references.

The one we had cost us £300 and we had to sign a one year contract.

She was with us exactly two hours and told us only that which we knew already.

1. Your puppy is extremely timid.

2. If you work with him he may or may not respond.

3. Let him come to you don't force him.

We knew all this we have had dogs all our lives what we were looking for was help in bringing our little man through the "U" turn.

I really was expecting her to say I will be back in "X" amount of weeks to see how he is getting on.
No such luck she just said if you need support just call us.

This was a lady highly recommended and from a company called "Bark Busters.

As she sat observing the two youngest went into their crate and went to sleep.
The lady said well that's it you wont get them to come out now as little shy boy will stay in his crate where he feels secure.

I just gave a whistle and he shot out of the crate looking for his treat but would not come over to me.

I have no faith left for Behaviourists I feel totally let down and disappointed and will never ever employ another.

I would have been absolutely happy if she had said she will come again but no such luck.

I didn't know timid yorkies were so common. Kaji is timid, and does not like to be touched by other people. He's the biggest cuddle bug, but even he has his moments. When I get home from work, he puts his paws up as if he wants to be picked up. As soon as I have him securely in my arms, he's wiggling to get back down. I've learned he just wants me to chase him around the house until he settles down. :p Silly pup! He does eventually calm down and curls up in my lap for cuddles and kisses.

I failed to see your location-for a typical contract that's not bad in price, but IMHO with the service you are describing you are getting shafted!

Behaviorist are not dog trainers but they are not limited to evaluation and a 'state of the dog' unless that's the specified agreement.

In most cases and my experience they are supposed to go farther and either direct you to a trainer giving you something to take to the trainer (their findings) to aid in how to train this specific dog and /or give you a to-do list of exercises.

Nevertheless they should be doing a follow up to check progress.

What's listed as the service agreement in the contract?

Is there a stipulation specified it's documented as legitimate by a solicitor? -I've a brief understanding of English basic contract law, so don't quote me unless you don't mind looking foolish a bit.

IMHO she sounds like someone how do you say who 'can't be asked' to do her job to the fullest.

Bonding, You and your Yorkie
Although it is recommend to place Yorkie pups at 12 weeks, many who study canine behavior, belive there is a critical bonding period that happens between the 6th and 8th week. Puppies learn many valuable lessons about how to interact with dogs, bite inhibition, and even keeping the nest clean, which helps with future potty training. It is very important to have a breeder who knows this and prepares the puppies for human bonding by sending time with each puppy away from the mother and litter.
If you have other dogs it is natural for the puppy to look to them for protection, leadership, and provisions (like where the food, water, bed and so on is) Puppies need one on one bonding with their human. People that have created a system of training service dogs for the blind, know all about this and begin touching, socializing, and teaching pups very early, that humans are the PLP. Protector, Leader and Provider of all resources, even before their eyes are open.
Most puppies who are placed after 12 weeks age, eventually learn to trust their human as the Provider of food but, sometimes never fully accept them as their leader and protector.
Trainers see cases everyday where the dog thinks he/ she is is equal to their people. Dogs with mixed identity roles, will some time guard their food, toys, bed, and even their people. They don't want other dogs or people sleeping with, sitting on, or touching their person. The dog thinks it is the PLP ! What a burden for the little guy. Sadly this sometimes leads to Small Dog Syndrome. Excessive barking, nipping, urine marking and even aggression.
Ideally when people bring home a puppy they would have at least 4 weeks to spend at home bonding and training their new family member. Of course that is rarely the situation. So we use several exercises we do encourage bonding, you might try them.
1. Umbilical Tethering
Is a fancy term for keeping your dog on a leash when he is not in his crate or gated safe play area. Use a regular soft cloth leash attached to his harness and the other end attached to you. Every where you go, he goes. Let him walk , people carry puppies far too much. Walking teaches him to follow. At first he will not be happy about this, but in a few days it will become routine. (this the scary part, with a puppy you have 4 magical weeks where everything you teach him, helps form his adult personality. From 12 to 16 weeks) Some people give up right here. They think 4 weeks of dragging a dog around, nope not for me. If they only understood 4 weeks training will last the dogs whole life, it is an excellent foundation. When you walk just cue with Let's Go and start walking. I won't take long for your puppy to learn to watch you the PLP and follow your lead. Training is much easier because he is right there with you, not wondering off to potty on the carpet, chewing the cord on the lamp, barking out of boredom etc. UT also teaches a pup he is safe he does not have to stay just out of reach. Teach all your basic training cues, his name Come, Sit, (lay) Down, Potty, Bark, Enough(barking), Good Quiet, Kisses, No, (get) OFF and Treats. Use the cue words during this four weeks while doing your ordinary daily things. Everyone in the family should use the same cue words.
A good book to read is Dog Perfect by Sarah Hodgson

2. FEED ME do this when your dog is hungry.
Spread something yummy on the back of your hand just a small amount( like peanut butter, low fat cream cheese, honey, canned dog food etc) and a real meat treat( like a tiny piece of boiled chicken etc.) in your palm. Close your hand. Call your dog give the cue, His name - Come (If your dog does not come EVERY TIME when called, make sure he is on a leash for this, if you have too gently reel him to you. You should be sitting low.) Cue with the word TREAT and pretend to lick the back of your hand and then put it down in his reach. When he sniffs, be very still and quiet. As soon as he begins to lick, cue with KISSES GOOD KISSES. Slowly roll your hand over and say TREAT and let him get the goody. Use your release word cue OK, so he will know the lesson is over. Do this several times a day for 3 days. On Day four gently stroke him with your other hand on the side by his ribs NOT ON TOP of his back or head, when he is licking. Do not pick him up. This lesson teaches him that food really comes from your hand. At some point he will probably begin to climb on to your lap especially if you are sitting low enough. Calmly stroke his side. Practice calling your dog 5 or 6 times every day. NEVER CALL YOUR DOG for any thing bad or punishment. No matter what always reward with praise, pets or treats when your dog comes. At first only call him when he is on a leash or long training tether.

H
 

Dex was like this When I first got him too. He wouldn't let me hold him much or if I tried to kiss on him he freaked out!! Now at almost 10 months old he is better about it and will come over on his own and give me kisses; it just takes time! Goodluck !

Any updates ?

Don't worry about it, but do keep offering him cuddles. Dinky is 20 months, now; and he has only really curled up on our laps for the last couple of months. He does like to sleep with us, and he loves being held, but I never really considered him the "cuddle bug" type, until recently. His personality changes as he matures. He used to love to walk, now I've noticed that he has figured out that being carried by dad while snuggled in dad's shirt is preferable.

Update

Robbie continues to play the shy boy in that he still refuses to take a treat from the hand but we are making painfully slow progress with the cuddles.
He will now allow us to sit him on our knee for a very short time only but if you attempt to cuddle him he is away to hide in his crate.

We feel we are making progress and will continue to help him as much as we can but he is one happy little puppy who plays really rough with the big ones and can give as much as he gets.

We love him so much just as much as we love the other three.:p

Try a lazer pointer.

Get everyone else to sit around, get him so into chasing the dot he forgets he has just ran across someones legs.

Do it slow, inhibit him.

Toby does the same thing. He's a very sweet boy but does not liked to be picked up. If he wants love he will come to you but if it's not on his agenda...forget about it.

No offense meant to this poster, but laser pointers are not a good thing to use with dogs. They can become obsessed with them in some cases needing therapy.

:sidesplt: