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Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly  Amen to that post. And take your baby's own bed to the vet for that last trip so they can relax as best possible in their own familiar bed at the vets until the time comes to say that final goodbye. Then, if you can contain your grief, I'd want to be holding my baby in my arms for the injection but what would I do if suddenly I just lose it and start bawling wildly - upsetting my baby at his very last moments on earth? I sure wouldn't want to ever do that - have his last moments alive with me sharing in my in hysterical crying, deep distress when it should all be about him breathing his last in peace. I'm so conflicted about upsetting my baby during his passing. I don't think I could keep it together in the least! I'll be a complete and utter sobbing wreck. |
You would surprise yourself at how controlled you would be for the sake of your baby in his final moments. I watched that video, it reminded me of myself the day I received the call to come and say my last good byes, I had to put Matese down. Matese was at the vets for 7 days because at the age of 17 yo one day she wouldn't eat. For 2 days I made things she loved, like boiled boneless chic cutlets, she ate maybe a teaspoon, she was not eating and had diarrhea. Morning of day 3 I took her in on an emergency visit, they kept her, she was on IV the entire time she was there. Every morning at 11AM the tech would call me with a report of how she was doing,always telling me she was improving. Visiting time was 1 to 4PM, I was there at 1PM, they would take the IV out, I would bring her to the car for pvt. one on one cuddling time where I would cry into her neck to please get better and come home, then I realized this crying of mine was not good to do, so I held back my tears and fears on my visits. Day 3 at the vet when I went to visit her I asked the tech will she be coming the tech told me yes, that lifted my spirit but she was looking really bad, she had lost a lot of weight, she was a big girl at 17 pounds, now looking skinny, day 5 when the tech called she said Matese would be coming home the next day, when I went to visit her she looked horrible, as always we went to the car, she would just lay there in my arms. Day 6 tech calls, said they were going to hold her one more day, she was eating on her own, not a lot but was eating, still had diarrhea and reason they wanted to keep her another day. Day 7 at the vet, I had to go out, 10AM the tech call, it is one hour before the usual call, I get excited thinking they are calling for me to pick her up, instead the call was to come in and say my last good byes, I had to put her down, I was screaming no, you have the wrong dog , she's coming home, I was in town on the sidewalk, hysterical, screaming, saying I was getting positive reports all week, you have the wrong dog, Matese is coming home, the tech is telling me I am in denial, I sit on the curb screaming into the phone I can't do this, just like that poor poor lady in the video, I couldn't believe what I was hearing, I tell the tech shes not in pain, just stop the diarrhea I'll take her home and get her to eat, the tech said her organs were breaking down she is in pain, I have to come in and put her down, all I can do is scream saying I can't do this, and I couldn't do it. ppl were coming over to me asking me if I was ok, all I could say was I have to put my dog down, I can't do it, I couldn't believe one day she was coming home, the next day I am being told come and say my good byes. I knew I could not get in my car and drive to the vet to kill my dog. I called a friend of mine that loved my Matese dearly, I was screaming on the phone I can't do this, then told him of the call, I told him I cannot get in my car and drive to the vet, I cannot go to kill my dog. He told me to wait where he was he would come get me and take me to the vet. Someone must have called the police, I was hysterical in disbelief, screaming I can't do this, the officer asked me what was wrong, he was trying to get me to stand up, I couldn't, I told him about the call, told him I can't do this, he said he would take me to the vet and stay with me, I told him someone was coming for me. Such a nice understanding officer, he stayed with me 45 minutes until my friend came. On the drive to the vet I am telling my friend I have to pull myself together for the sake of Matese, she is dieing, she is scared, I have to be her strength, I can't let her feel my emotions, she has to be calm in her last moments, all the time asking, how am I going to do this. When I get to the vet I am dazed they tell me to take her outside and spend as much time with her as I need, I can't sit in my friends car, the smell would not be familiar to her so we stand outside taking turns talking to her, she loved my friend but showed no sign of knowing him, I knew it was time. I don't know where the strength came from for me to remain calm, to hold her tight against my heart so she could feel my love, to whisper in her ear she was a good girl and kiss her cheek while the tech injected her and ended her life. She passed peacefully, she looked like she was sleeping, I laid her on the exam table calling her name, trying to wake her up, the tech said she was gone. Then I broke down again. I tell this story to let you know, as much pain as we may be in, for the sake of our babies last moments we want them to pass in peace without fear, and in the arms of the person that they loved the most.
Matese was not the first baby I had to put down, there were several before her and they were not easy. Matese was with me for 17 years, and tech promises she was coming home is why I think I went into such a state of shock.
It was very hard to watch that video, I know the pain that lady was in, I was there too, but managed to stay calm for the last moments of my baby's life.