[joyce evans]

My heart was ripped out today. I had to let my girl go. I found out on Friday that the cancer had moved to her lungs. Seeing her x-rays and how fast things had gone from bad but still here to "almost time" put me into shock. Not that I wasn't told and not that signs were not already there but to see it and hear it. Well I was just not ready. We shared our weekend with Jasmine doing some of her favorite things, being naughty and letting her eat everything from Pizza to Brisket, we took photos and videos. Kissed and hugged all over her and told her how pretty she was, how good she was and how much we loved her. And then this morning her breathing was just not good at all. My arms felt heavy like I couldn't even pick up the phone. I hesitated because it was clear. I knew what I had to do for her and I knew then that there was no turning back. Everything happened so fast, there was not enough time to ask for even another second with her. On one hand I am at peace because my girl no longer has this horrible disease. But on the other hand I miss her so terribly bad I can't stand it. Today is a very sad, dark, ugly day for us. I left the house with my darling Jasmine and came back home with a collar and leash. My vet and I had made plans to "let her go" at home but when it came down to it and everything became real I just could not do that with my other dogs here. What a horrible day. I cannot even describe how I feel right now.