I have not gone through this personally (meaning, had cancer myself), although my Mom had cancer.
I can hear the
strength in your post and I think you should grab on tight to it, as you never know the very power of that strength!
You and your husband will be in my thoughts and I do hope you will keep us posted, but please know there is no pressure.
As for your horse, what about a rescue or Humane Ass'n giving you temporary relief? Our Humane Assn' here provides foster/relief for emerg situations....might be something for you to look into.
