I am sorry things have been bad for you! PLease try not to be so hard on yourself! s**t happens
My desktop has crashed twice in 7 years, with virus protection
However, I know computor guys who can fix the putor and even save the things I need . It is hard to find a really good computor tech, but i got lucky . It only happened once that this man asked me what I neede to save . It was a lot easier then to have to buy a brand new one! Fortunately nothing has happened to the laptop, becasue that one is my baby.
I am glad your back here, and if there was not orders placed and nobody gave money for bows , then it is OK
I am sure you will be able to get into contact with previous customers and it will all work out