[jrsygal37]

I'm having such a tough time right now and couldn't think of anywhere to turn - where anyone would understand but here. As Christams is approaching I'm finding myself so down. I miss my Newman so much. Newman was my first Yorkie and I lost him back in July to cancer. When the cancer spread we couldn't do anymore for him and had to put him down. Our family was devestated but as my husband and sons have moved on and healed from the loss I'm finding it very difficult. My husband says he understands but I know he thinks I'm over reacting or just plain nuts. I just find that as I'm sitting there I just start to sob. We put the tree up today and I just couldn't stop crying and I'm crying now as I'm typing this.

I have five Yorkies - Lilly came into our lives a month after we lost Newman. We weren't planning anymore but Lilly was a rescue - just 12 weeks and tiny. You hardly ever find a yorkie this young and this tiny and I felt like it was meant to be. Hubby says you have five to fill you're heart and you have to realize that animals don't last forever. I know he's right about that but it does not stop the loss and pain I'm feeling. This is our first Christmas without him and I just remember how much he loved it when the tree went up and how he'd know that a stocking full of goodies was on it's way for him. I just wish I could be happy and not so down. I miss him so much.

Elaine