I need a place to vent.

[Sandra88]

I hope i'm understood...

About 4 months ago, i got what i always wanted... a dog. Not just a dog but a loyal companion, a non-human being i could always rely on. but sometimes a part of me doubts whether i made the right choice on finally getting a dog... it's not that i don't love her or want her around anymore, her troublemaking personality is what makes me think that maybe i wasn't ready for her. I feel that ever since i got her, i have no time for myself. i don't go out as much because i don't want to leave her alone at home, i don't do a lot of the things i used to do because i just can't cope with the thought of her ever being left alone. I'm close to turning 20 and my life consists of going to college and finding a job. i live in a household of 5 with my two younger brothers and my parents. and even though i'm not the only one in the house. all the responsibility of the dog is on me. and i'm okay with that because I wanted her, so therefore i'm the one responsible for her. but sometimes i just can't handle so much. sometimes i wished i would have waited until i had my own place and settled down to finally have a precious little doggie walking around, and other times i just couldn't picture my life without her, sometimes i feel like such a bad person for feeling the way i'm feeling. I want a job but a part of me feels that if i get a job, the ones in charge for looking after the dog will be my parents or my siblings and i can't bare the thought of that. I don't want them to take on the responsibility of taking care of my dog. the way i feel has to do with some issues that i didn't expect of my puppy. Minnie is a bit feisty, she barks at every dog she sees, she's extremely loud at parks, and a bit too jumpy for comfort, she doesn't come on command, she pulls on the leash, she sees any dog and she goes crazzzyyy, she's run away a few times but luckily we've been able to catch up to her, but i'm pretty sure that the way she acts has to do with the way i've trained her to be. I blame her behavioral issues on me, for not being able to train her well. for not being able to teach her what's right.
I just sometimes feel that maybe if i would train her better all these feelings will just go away, and i would finally have the dog i've always longed for.
I don't trust anyone taking care of my dog but me and i feel this is interfering with my life as well.
Sometimes i wished that the way she's behaving is just a puppy thing, she is just 5 months (almost 6) but i'm a bit more realistic, i know she needs training.
I just hope that one day i can have enough trust in minnie to not feel so bad about myself.
I just feel like the way she is, is my fault, and i'm the one to blame.

[Baby Blessing]

Hi there, First of all I want to say Minnie is sure a pretty little girl, in replying to your posting I want to do so in a positive way.

I really hope you will soon be able to feel the blessing of having her, she is just a baby still , a puppies needs are many at this age, it is so important to do good training, nurturing them to become happy well adjusted in their precious life. They desperately rely on us to give them what they need to enable them to grow to be healthy, happy.

I believe the pet stores have training classes, I think Minnie would benefit and that you too could gain much in taking some.

Yorkies are such a precious breed, many sacrifices sometimes on our part many times over, it's important for their well being that we understand their needs and strive to be and do for them that they deserve.

My good thoughts and prayers that you will be able to give Minnie the patience
and understanding that all puppies need when they become part of a family.
I look at our girls everyday and know what a gift they are to me from God, sometimes putting the needs of theirs first before mine helps me to understand how much they depend on me, I know too that I am God's gift to them.
Sincerely,
Patti and Jack

[rubymoon2072]

you are human and young. there is nothing wrong with feeling that way sometimes. a puppy is a lot of work but i promise if you put the time in now with training and such it will pay off and in another 6 months or so will be well worth it. i wish you luck. ps if you want some training tips check out cesar milans website i find it very helpful at times. hugs to you and have a good day.

[Nancy1999]

Don’t feel guilty for the way you are feeling. Feelings are feelings and there are no right or wrong feelings. You wanted the companionship of a dog, but you have other obligations, school, work and a recreational life, and you feel guilty about leaving your baby because he is your primary responsibility. Nothing is wrong with the way you are feeling and I’m sure many people feel just as you do. You say you wish you had waited till you were more on your own so that your family wouldn’t be involved with the care of your dog. Why don’t you want your family involved? Do you feel they would be abusive or neglectful? Do you feel like it’s just your responsibility and you would be wrong to place that on someone else? I really believe it’s better for dogs to be around lots of different people the first year, the more people the better. I hope you can enlist some of your family into helping care for your dog. Don’t feel guilty about wanting a social life; this is very much an important thing at every age, and especially at your age.

The first year, dogs do act the way Minnie is acting. I couldn’t even take Joey on a walk without him embarrassing me to death. I learned that when he saw another dog and went ballistic, I would turn him in the other direction. You deflect their attention to something else, over and over. Sometimes we were walking in circles! Another trick I learned was to teach Joey that I was the alpha; one way to do this is to make Minnie sit before you feed her. Have her sit before you place the bowl down and then make her stay for a few seconds at first. Place your hand up toward her face in a stopping motion and say stay. To release her say, “okay” and point towards the food. She has to learn that humans are the boss. Here’s a good training guide. Dog Training: Nothing in Life is Free : The Humane Society of the United States If you an afford it, I agree with Baby Blessing, puppy classes are a great idea and can help socialize your dog. They cost around $100. The first year is the hardest! It sounds like you are doing your best, don't be so hard on yourself!

[dryoasis88]

I can really relate to the feelings you have expressed. I am 24 and I have had Hepburn for 2 and a half years now. When I first got him, I was living alone in a foreign country with no family around and no steady relationship. I wanted a dog because I was missing that consistency in my life. I wanted someone to come home to, someone to love me even on my worst days when I barely left the house and ate ice cream in front of my computer while watching American TV online and reevaluating my decision to live in a country where Ben and Jerry's is so expensive and only comes in 5 flavors. I still live alone and I still live abroad, but my support system has grown by a handful of really great friends and a fantastic "adopted family" who I work for as a part-time nanny.

The first 8 months were really hard. I had university classes and work and wanted to go out with my friends sometimes, but I had to make some sacrifices to have Hepburn. I had many nights after he had had a particularly challenging day when I lay awake in my bed thinking, was this really what I wanted when I decided to get a dog? In fact, I still have those nights! I am having one today, he ate a pencil yesterday and I am still waiting on a splintery poop and he peed on me while I was sitting on the couch because I wouldn't play with him while I was writing my Bachelor's thesis. (This is a very abnormal behavior though)

In the end, I love him so much and I could never imagine my life without him. He is there every day to greet me and even if I had the worst day ever and I feel like nothing can go right, he gives me kisses and wants to cuddle. He even licks the ice cream from chin while I am moping and the tears from my cheeks when I cry (mostly while watching sappy TV or movies). Yes, I go out less and I plan things sometimes around having to be home to take him out. Yes, I have had rough patches and times where I trusted no one to watch him, sometimes not even myself. But I found friends who I trusted and I learned to let go. Imagine how hard it will be if you plan to have children and try to take having a dog as getting you ready for that.

I have grown as a person and become more responsible and more ready to be a "real adult" (you know, with a real job and bills and your own place and all that). I hope that you find the same peace with your dog, but I know that your situation is not the same as mine. If you want to talk about anything, just PM me and I will be glad to listen and try to help.
Oh and take a training class, you will get to know your dog better and feel more connected to the situation.

[DvlshAngel985]

Job, work, school, and pup. It's a balancing act, but it can be done! I work full time, and Kaji is home alone, or home with my parents. All the responsibility of his care does fall on me, but they do give me a hand because they love his too! I prep everything before I leave in the morning. My parents know the rules, and the limitations I have in place for Kaji (ex. No kitchen access if there are no humans present) and they follow them. They put the gate up to the kitchen when they leave the apt. They rub Kaji's belly if he wants to be cuddled and I'm not home, and they even let Kaji sleep with them if I'm out late with friends. I usually take home with me, but when I don't, he stays with grandma and grandpa.

Take it day by day, and you'll see that you can make it work too.

[QuickSilver]

Originally Posted by dryoasis88

I can really relate to the feelings you have expressed. I am 24 and I have had Hepburn for 2 and a half years now. When I first got him, I was living alone in a foreign country with no family around and no steady relationship. I wanted a dog because I was missing that consistency in my life. I wanted someone to come home to, someone to love me even on my worst days when I barely left the house and ate ice cream in front of my computer while watching American TV online and reevaluating my decision to live in a country where Ben and Jerry's is so expensive and only comes in 5 flavors. I still live alone and I still live abroad, but my support system has grown by a handful of really great friends and a fantastic "adopted family" who I work for as a part-time nanny.

The first 8 months were really hard. I had university classes and work and wanted to go out with my friends sometimes, but I had to make some sacrifices to have Hepburn. I had many nights after he had had a particularly challenging day when I lay awake in my bed thinking, was this really what I wanted when I decided to get a dog? In fact, I still have those nights! I am having one today, he ate a pencil yesterday and I am still waiting on a splintery poop and he peed on me while I was sitting on the couch because I wouldn't play with him while I was writing my Bachelor's thesis. (This is a very abnormal behavior though)

In the end, I love him so much and I could never imagine my life without him. He is there every day to greet me and even if I had the worst day ever and I feel like nothing can go right, he gives me kisses and wants to cuddle. He even licks the ice cream from chin while I am moping and the tears from my cheeks when I cry (mostly while watching sappy TV or movies). Yes, I go out less and I plan things sometimes around having to be home to take him out. Yes, I have had rough patches and times where I trusted no one to watch him, sometimes not even myself. But I found friends who I trusted and I learned to let go. Imagine how hard it will be if you plan to have children and try to take having a dog as getting you ready for that.

I have grown as a person and become more responsible and more ready to be a "real adult" (you know, with a real job and bills and your own place and all that). I hope that you find the same peace with your dog, but I know that your situation is not the same as mine. If you want to talk about anything, just PM me and I will be glad to listen and try to help.
Oh and take a training class, you will get to know your dog better and feel more connected to the situation.

This happened to catch my eye. Is it possible he has a UTI?

[concretegurl]

I just wanted to address the pulling during walks, you are using the leash attached to a harness and NOT a collar right?

Can you take her with you more often, make it fun?
Have a friend with a dog and go for a dog walk instead of the gym?
Do lunch at the park with a dog area instead if a resteraunt?

Any short class days and relaxed teachers who would let you take you pup in a carrier?

Please also consider doggy day care!!! Boarting one weekend out of the month gives you a break and gives your dog not only socialization but boarding training for vacations in the future you might take and its best to be preparing now with it than not and having issues later.

[concretegurl]

Yeah doggy day care can really turn it around and make it functional.