Euthanasia advice

[chelle36]

Today has to be one of the saddest days of my life. My Phoebe is just over 3 years old. She was the picture of health and the most perfect companion until she got sick about 6 weeks ago.

She started throwing up blood in the middle of the night, we took her to a vet hospital immediately where they ran blood work and did X-rays and such. What the diagnosis was at that time was ITP, immune mediated thrombocytopenia, an autoimmune disease where the body attacks and destroys it's one platelets. She was immediately started on prednisone but did not respond and was referred to a specialist. She has had numbers blood transfusions, a bone marrow biopsy, and they have tried every drug available. After the blood transfusions she would bounce back and be so lively and full of energy but each time her numbers returned to critically low.

Last week they told us our last option to have any chance of saving her was to remover her spleen. She came through the surgery beautifully but again after two more transfusions her platelets and red blood cells are critically low. Before her last transfusion her platelets were 7 thousand and her hematocrit was 8 thousand. She was transfused two days ago but has never returned to her spunky self. She is extremely weak, will drink water but refuses to eat. She is a shell of herself and has the most sad look in her eye. I feel like she is trying to tell me something but I don't know if putting her to sleep is the right thing to do.

I am so so torn over this decision that I feel like my heart is being ripped out. I do not want her to suffer but I feel like I will be killing her and when she looks at me with those dark little eyes I just crumble. My husband is incredibly distraught too, he and Phoebe are like soul mates. I have never seen a man love a dog as much as he loves her.

Please give me some advice on what to do....I have never had to make a decision like this before.

Michelle

[TeresaM]

Michelle, my heart just breaks for you and your husband. I remember the day I had to make that horrible decision for Annie B. It's the hardest thing you will ever have to do, but if all options have been exhausted, you have to do the right thing for Phoebe. You can't let her suffer. It's one of the unspoken thing we all know when we take on the care and responsibility of these little angels, that at some point in time we may have to make this decision.

I pray that you find the strength to do what is best for her, and I'll be praying for you and your husband to find peace knowing that you tried everything possible. Hugs to all of you.

[gidget529]

I am so sorry you and your little one are facing this together. My husband, I and my little Cricket went through illness almost a year ago. She had chronic pancreatitis and CHF. It got to the point that the dr said he had to be her advocate and let us know all that could be done was and now she was suffering. We had to make the decision to help her the only way left. My husband dearly loved her and that manly-man cried while we stood by and helped her pass.

My heart goes out to you. Only you, your vet, and your little one can know when all that can be done has. It sounds like she could not have gotten better care than what you have given her. I pray you will have the wisdom to know when nothing more can be done and that you will have peace in your decision.

[dottiesyrky]

I am so sad and sorry for you all at this terrible time. Poor little 3 yr old Phoebe having gone thru all the medical procedures is still not getting well. You have certainly done everything possible and more to save your little one, but perhaps she has had enough and her little body is worn out with trying to get better.
I do feel your pain as my previous sweet little girl suddenly got severe kidney failure and went thru many nasty procedures to save her, but she did not improve and we could no longer see her suffer so much. After sitting up several nights and seeing how ill she was, we decided that she should be spared any more sickness and pass gently over the Rainbow Bridge into peace. This decision was terrible to make and we cried and cried and agonized over what to do, but in the end she told us she had had enough and we gave her peace from her misery. When WE have to make the decision, it seems that the guilt and questions haunt us. Should we have let her live longer, could we have done more, perhaps she would have improved if we had persisted.......???????? But we had to do it for her sake. We understand that your pain will be intense for some time if you do let her go, but be comforted in knowing that she is no longer suffering.
So sorry for you, but you will know when it is time.
With warmest wishes and prayers.
Marge

[LunasMomma]

I'm so very sorry You know your baby best, and if her quality of life is very poor, then you know what must be done. You have done everything you can for her, medically, and now there's just this one last thing you can do for her. If the vets are all saying that they've done all they could, then it's the only loving thing you can do is to let her go, as hard as that will be. Again, I am SO sorry for your family, I know how much my kiddos mean to me and that when the time comes to make this kind of decision, I hope I have the strength to do the right thing.

You're in my thoughts

[chelle36]

Thank you all for your supportive words....I have been a nurse for 6 years now and I have often said that the dying patients I have cared for have been my most rewarding nursing experiences. Not necessarliy for what I do for the patient but for what I do for the family. I comfort people in knowing that it's ok to let their loved one die and to let them know that a peaceful and dignified death is a gift. I have seen people laying in misery and pain and know that there are things worse than death.

I know it is time to let Phoebe go...the life has gone from her eyes...I feel like she is saying goodbye each time she musters the energy to raise her head and look at me. I'm being selfish in keeping her here because it hurts so much to say goodbye. I keep imagining her trotting through the house with her favorite stuffed animal dangling from her mouth or the feel of her snuggling up against me as I go to sleep at night. Her absence is going to leave a hole in my heart.

I have attached a picture of my doggie family....Phoebe is the beautiful little girl on the right.

[BlueBelle]

Oh my, this is a truly dreadful time for you all. I guess this is the most loving decision you can make for her. Not to make her suffer or endure more pain, sickness & misery. God bless you for loving her so much and doing so much for her, but this might just be her time. ((hugs))

[BlueBelle]

Originally Posted by chelle36

Thank you all for your supportive words....I have been a nurse for 6 years now and I have often said that the dying patients I have cared for have been my most rewarding nursing experiences. Not necessarliy for what I do for the patient but for what I do for the family. I comfort people in knowing that it's ok to let their loved one die and to let them know that a peaceful and dignified death is a gift. I have seen people laying in misery and pain and know that there are things worse than death.

I know it is time to let Phoebe go...the life has gone from her eyes...I feel like she is saying goodbye each time she musters the energy to raise her head and look at me. I'm being selfish in keeping her here because it hurts so much to say goodbye. I keep imagining her trotting through the house with her favorite stuffed animal dangling from her mouth or the feel of her snuggling up against me as I go to sleep at night. Her absence is going to leave a hole in my heart.

I have attached a picture of my doggie family....Phoebe is the beautiful little girl on the right.

Tears for you all. Peace for your heart and soul.

[salazark]

I pray for peace for you in the decision you are making. Letting them go when it's time is the last and perhaps the greatest gift we give them. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband.

[Teresa Ford]

My prayers and thoughts are with you and Phoebe. There is nothing I can say to make this sad time more bearable. Know that we are here for you and support and respect what ever is right for you and Phoebe.

[gidget529]

Originally Posted by chelle36

Thank you all for your supportive words....I have been a nurse for 6 years now and I have often said that the dying patients I have cared for have been my most rewarding nursing experiences. Not necessarliy for what I do for the patient but for what I do for the family. I comfort people in knowing that it's ok to let their loved one die and to let them know that a peaceful and dignified death is a gift. I have seen people laying in misery and pain and know that there are things worse than death.

I know it is time to let Phoebe go...the life has gone from her eyes...I feel like she is saying goodbye each time she musters the energy to raise her head and look at me. I'm being selfish in keeping her here because it hurts so much to say goodbye. I keep imagining her trotting through the house with her favorite stuffed animal dangling from her mouth or the feel of her snuggling up against me as I go to sleep at night. Her absence is going to leave a hole in my heart.

I have attached a picture of my doggie family....Phoebe is the beautiful little girl on the right.

Phoebe is an absolutely beautiful little girl. You can see on her face she knew a loving home where she was deeply loved. You gave her the best gift that could ever be given. I know she will be with you always.

[Sammy Mommy]

I'm in tears reading this. You and your Phoebe are facing such a tough time. I went thru similar situation in June with my Sammy. My friend told me that I had to do what was right for Sammy, not what was right for me. I was mad at him when he said that but he was right. We made the decision to let Sam go to Rainbow Bridge after several soul searching, sad and agonizing days. My vet said that we did the right thing but it didn't make it hurt any less. I'm praying for you and Phoebe.

[dottiesyrky]

Oh Michelle, what a beautiful girl Phoebe is. I know that seeing that little sweet face looking up sadly at you must be almost impossible to bear.
When she tells you it is time, the pain you will suffer will be so awful. When my little one left us it was like the house was devoid of oxygen and so silent.
When it happens it will be the right thing to do and we here all feel for you.
Please talk to us and let us help you, I found great solace in sharing my grief with others who care. Those who do not have pets just do not get it and think all you have to do is 'get another dog', how wrong they are.
Love and peace.
Marge

[chelle36]

I'm waiting for my husband to get home in a couple of hours....it is really like torture counting the moments until she won't be here. I have lost several dogs over the years to freak accidents and it was horrible but I cannot say that the grief I felt was anything like what I am going through now. I had the perfect little dog family....the picture I posted was this past fall...Phoebe was 3...Olliver (the little s**tzipoo) was 2 and Grady (the springer) was one...they were so perfect together....Phoebe was boss of them all of course :-)

I guess some things are just out of my control....you would think I would no that because I see people's lives changed every day at work....somehow though when it happens to you it still blind sides you....I just never saw this coming so soon.

I wish I would have stayed in touch with all of your here at yorkie talk after I got Phoebe 3 years ago...I loved hearing all of your stories and it is nice to meet people who love their dogs as much as I do.

Michelle

[MauiGirl]

Michele, my heart aches for you, your family and little Phoebe. I can't even imagine the pain you feel having to deal with this when she is only 3.

In July I had to make the same decision for my Schnauzer Niko, and it was so hard. But he was almost 16 and I had tried to prepare for it for almost a year. I had saved this poem long ago to help me prepare, and hope it may also help you even a little. You may have to give her the gift of freeing her from her from her sick little body, and no matter what, it will be one of the hardest things ever. I send you my thoughts and prayers thru it all.

The Last Battle

If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done,
For this -- the last battle -- can't be won.
You will be sad I understand,
But don't let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where to my needs they'll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don't grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do;
We've been so close -- we two -- these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.

-- Unknown