[pepe mint]

Dog's Diary entries:

8:00am -- Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30am -- A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40am -- A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30am -- Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00pm -- Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00pm -- Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00pm -- Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00pm -- Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00pm -- Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00pm -- Wow! Watched TV with my master! My favorite thing!
11:00pm -- Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Cat's Diary entries:

Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released --and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded! The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly .. I am certain that he reports my every move. The captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe....... for now....