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12-08-2011, 09:20 PM | #1 |
2+2=4 X the Love ♥ Donating Member | What if . . ? What if . . we all just set our frustrations and opinions aside for once and just answer the OP questions ? What if . . we care so much about the animal in question and only wrote what we know and guided them in the right direction or only answered what is asked of us ? What if . . . just for once when someone comes to us for our help and those of us who have the answers give them freely and those of you who only have harsh, unkind, opinionated, judgmental words to say Just Dont !! Too many time I have seen members leave YT because of the harsh opinions of other member. They go away without the knowledge and information they came here for. Information that could have make a deference. I know because I was also judged when I first came to YT, and It frustrates the hell out of me. There are so many times when members will judge others so harshly but do nothing to help them. I feel good when I log off at the end of the day knowing that I was able to help someone. That when I come here I can offer my experiences as a pet owner and yes a breeder to those who need it. I try very hard to leave my opinions to myself unless asked. I am also very happy to take from YT member the knowledge that I have gathered during my time here on YT and I can admit I learn something new every day. So, why is it so hard to give other that same respect and knowledge that they seek when they come to us for our help ?
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12-08-2011, 09:40 PM | #2 |
www.yorkierescue.com Donating Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Las Vegas & Orange County
Posts: 17,408
| Bc most of the time people come on here with a yorkie lethargic, with a broken leg, diarrhea, etc asking us for advice and when we tell them to go to the vet, they give us excuses. Many times people come on here looking for free advice, and not wanting to pay for the services of a vet. This is one of the largest yorkie sites online. If they "left" YT, I'm sure they are still reading, unless I hope they finally did go to the vet. If you read enough, you will learn, whether it be here or otherwise. What if... people actually spayed and neutered their pets like they're supposed to? people took their dogs to the vet when something was wrong instead of asking strangers on an online forum? stopped breeding just for the money or bc their dog is cute? they wanted to start breeding actually did research and shadowed a respected breeder first?
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12-09-2011, 12:11 AM | #3 |
Banning Queen Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Home of the Kalamazoo Wings, MI.
Posts: 3,122
| I think this site would run a lot smoother (no hurt feelings, etc.) if people remembered they're on a site of primarily yorkie owners/breeders & not many, if any vets, dieticians, etc. When someone asks me a question anywhere & I don't have the exact scientific explanation/answer I say "well I would... or would not..." Then it's my opinion, either based on what I've done, experienced or whatever & it's up to the person to value what I offer or not. Otherwise I think the OP should address someone on a one on one basis to hear what they want to hear. Just like at work or school or the grocery store, everyone can answer the same question differently-nice, rude, short, sweet. Part of learning is learning to deal with the different ways you may be taught something. Of course I try to give & get respect like the next person but some subjects will be touchy depending on someones passion & that has to be expected when you're dealing with such a large group.
__________________ For The Night Is Dark & Full Of Terriers |
12-09-2011, 01:49 PM | #4 | |
♥YORKIERESCUE.com♥ Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Menifee, CA
Posts: 8,708
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12-09-2011, 02:09 PM | #5 | |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Macomb, MI
Posts: 2,112
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__________________ Dee and Lil' Louie RIP Lil' Brody boy 6.7.99 - 1.3.10 | |
12-09-2011, 04:21 PM | #6 | |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: USA
Posts: 954
| More yorkies would be saved and have a better chance at life and health. Quote:
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12-09-2011, 04:56 PM | #7 | |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: At Home
Posts: 8,386
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__________________ [SIZE="3"VICKI & ALLIE[/SIZE] | |
12-09-2011, 06:33 PM | #8 | |
T. Bumpkins & Co. Donating YT Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: New England
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12-09-2011, 06:43 PM | #9 | |
I ♥ Armani & Chloe Donating Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 3,895
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That would be wonderful, new members could finally get decent answers to their questions, like: Original Post: "my dog is throwing up, having bloody stool, and can barely keep his head up, what do I do?" Non-Bully Answer: Stay home, maybe you will be a lucky one and the dog will turn around on its own, best of luck to you, regardless of what happens you will have saved some money". Original Post: "OMG! I am so excited I found a cute little morkiepoo today, a nice lady was selling them in the Wal-Mart parking lot and she said she is the BEST breeder and really really loves dogs and they are raised in the best environment". Non-Bully Answer: "OMG! Congrats! I am sure your new baby is SOOOO adorable, this lady sounds like a great breeder she was so nice to meet people in the Wal-Mart parking lot that is so convenient."
__________________ Armani & Chloe | |
12-09-2011, 07:03 PM | #10 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Snoqualmie, WA, USA
Posts: 124
| I guess I'm one of the few that agrees with the OP. It would seem we could educate, exhort, warn, even use a strong tone when we see some of the questions and issues that often come up, without being rude. I've never been the recipient of anything harsh, but I've sure seen it and I often get a negative vibe. Often when one respondent comes down hard on a questioner, others pile on rather than adding anything useful. There's an old saying that you can catch more flies with sugar than with vinegar and I think it holds true here. Most people stop listening when they feel they're getting yelled at. I agree that often you just want to wring the person's neck who's asking the question but what good does that do? It's clear that a lot of people don't know what they're getting into when they got a yorkie, don't have the money needed to properly care for them, etc., but by the time they come here they've already gotten the dog so we want them to learn, don't we? I'm a relative newbie (5 months) and have learned a lot here and enjoyed stories, and pictures, but you can be sure I'll never ask a hard question. Fortunately I have a great breeder and great vet to go to, thank goodness. This can be an intimidating place. |
12-09-2011, 07:35 PM | #11 |
I ♥ my girls! Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: With My Yorkies
Posts: 18,980
| I am sorry but I don't think it is intimidating at all. Granted, sometimes I don't get the answer I want to hear. However, I can always guarantee it is the answer that is in the best interest of my girls. If we are truly posting to find out what to do then we need to understand that each person is an individual and will all have different opinions. Like it or not, opinions are opinions. That is what a forum is about. Maybe I am more "thick skinned" than others. But if "bullying" me (as some of you think) means saving one of my girls life than so be it. Bully away when it comes to me and my girls.
__________________ Momma to three sweet Yorkie girls Rosie Marie, Mikki Leigh , and Lily Mae Grace! |
12-09-2011, 07:48 PM | #12 |
Donating YT 4000 Club Member | What if... we all worried more about the way we responded individually to posts rather than trying to be the hall monitors controlling everyone elses ... What if ... we realized that people will have differences of opinions, different ideas and different ways of expressing them. What if... we grew up enough to realize that someone having a different opinion or way of dealing with/saying something than you is NOT a form of bullying...but telling someone they don't have the right or aren't welcome to state their opinion IS... What if...we remembered that the internet is never a substitute for the hands on examination of a qualified professional (be it vet, behaviorist or breeding mentor.) What if... we remembered that only the Admin and Mods have any right to tell another member that their response was rude or out of line. What if... we all felt free to not only express our thoughts and opinions in the manner that best reflects our beliefs without fear of reprisal from the polite police...and, in addition, take or leave the advice that is given here in accordance to our own values... Just a thought.
__________________ Don't get your knickers in a knot. Nothing is solved and it just makes you walk funny. Last edited by Rhetts_mama; 12-09-2011 at 07:52 PM. |
12-09-2011, 08:04 PM | #13 | |
Banning Queen Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Home of the Kalamazoo Wings, MI.
Posts: 3,122
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__________________ For The Night Is Dark & Full Of Terriers | |
12-09-2011, 08:56 PM | #14 | |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: USA
Posts: 954
| I don't think you are one of the few. I think there a lot of people who agree with the OP and a lot of people are someplace inbetween what might be deemed as more judgemental or direct posters. I get why some people are strong in their posts. I also agree that I think a softer touch - and no a softer touch does NOT have to equal a stupid response or ignoring the question and pretending it's not serious - could garner a lot better result. T. Ford does it very well. Many of the people on here do. That's my opinion. And nobody has to agree with it. Disagree with it all you want. Tell my why or don't. What I don't think is right however is telling me I shouldn't say I disagree with something. And I also don't think people need to call people names when they do. Whether it be calling someone a "bully" or "polite police." You can. But again, it's not necessary and what does it really get you? And last in regard to the OP's post - What's wrong with posing to a community that we think differently? Maybe we start thinking differently - or maybe we don't and we reaffirm why we do what we do, but how can her post be a bad thing? I appreciate most of the posters at YT very much and even the ones without a "soft" touch. I hope however there's room for the "softer" responders too? Okay I've said more than my two cents. Quote:
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12-09-2011, 09:37 PM | #15 |
YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Edmonton, AB
Posts: 797
| I didn't read all the opinions but a few, great all around. I hear what the OP is saying, BUT you have to have thick skin to be a part of ANY online forum. People come on here asking about how to breed their mutt, unpapered dog, or etc. We tell them sorry we're not going to tell you anything but DONT DO IT and get the dog spayed. Then when the person refuses to listen and say stuff like "well's she/he is an AMAZING dog, so cute, so loving, so smart, all my family and friends want a puppy from her" then of course ignorance just turns into stupids and refusal to take the advice already give and YES we get upset. I think the members who ask about breeding their mutt/unpapered/unproven dogs should get honest respones, not help with how to breed. That goes for any health issues too or people who ask for good breeder info yet buy from a byb anyways!! A lot of time good advice is given on top of "go to a vet now" comments. Yet for some reason half the time the poster ignores it. If the posters listened to the GREAT advice from so many long time yorkie lovers there would be less hostility and less leaving.
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