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10-22-2007, 01:35 PM | #1 |
Spoilin' Tilly & Jack Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Indiana
Posts: 2,227
| Am I being unreasonable? As most of you know, hubby graduates college in May. He has had an interview with one company and has two more interviews this week. One is a company he has worked for as an intern for 3 years. Ever since he has started interviewing his mom and dad have been very nosey. They want to know the starting salary and what our benefits will be. I know hubby worked hard at school and is proud that he is going to be starting how making lots more than both of our parents, but is it unreasonable of me that I told him that's our private business? He acted like he wanted to tell everyone that asks but I think it's personal. My dad is private with his money and I've always been told never to ask anyone what they get paid. Am I the one being rude? I feel like hubby wants to go behind my back and share our financial information with them.
__________________ Momma Tilly Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail. |
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10-22-2007, 01:36 PM | #2 |
No Longer a Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 6,111
| I dont think you are being unreasonable at all!! That IS your private business and no one else's..Im sure your hubby is proud..but when they ask your salary information tell him him to say "enough" that usually quiets people down.. Dawn |
10-22-2007, 01:37 PM | #3 |
I love Jackson too! Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,905
| No, you are not being unreasonable at all. I agree with you, your hubby's income is private and should be kept between the two of you. I never discuss mine or my hubby's salary with anyone, and they don't ask. I think it's rude when people ask because it's none of their business.
__________________ Selina, mommy to Jake and Jackson. RIP baby Lily Coming soon: Gracie |
10-22-2007, 01:40 PM | #4 |
Spoilin' Tilly & Jack Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Indiana
Posts: 2,227
| That's what I was thinking. I wouldn't dare ask anyone what they made. When I told hubby that I thought he should just reply with "I'm getting paid top dollar," and leaving it like that, he said, "oh", and he said he wanted to tell anyone that asks. I won't share that information.
__________________ Momma Tilly Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail. |
10-22-2007, 01:42 PM | #5 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: TX
Posts: 2,799
| I agree..... that's private info. There are some families that share every tiny detail but I was brought up not ever knowing what my parents made at their jobs and we've never shared our salary info. with them either. Maybe just a short answer "it's a nice salary.... I'm very pleased with it" would do. But then again, an answer like that with really nosy people probably wouldn't work either. He may just have to say that he wishes to keep that private. Sounds like he wants to share though. Maybe you can get him to understand your wishes on the subject.
__________________ ~ Angie |
10-22-2007, 01:44 PM | #6 |
lovin my girls Donating Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Nottinghamshire, UK
Posts: 9,342
| I don't think you are being unreasonable at all either. I also agree with you that it is your personal business and I think it's rude of people to ask. Last week I sold my car and then bought a new one the next day. Since then people have been asking how much I got for mine and what I paid for the new one. I jut told people that I got what I wanted for mine and paid a bit more than I wanted for my new one but less than what it is worth. I hate answering questions about how much things cost and some people are too noisey for their own good.... 3 times my friend asked me what I paid for my car when I'd given him an answer each time without actually saying... in the end I snapped and told him to mind his own business!
__________________ Vicky - Gypsy, Kayla & Amelia Grace's Mummy Follow Yodi's Adventure! Where In The World Is Yodi? Petitioning For ERFW |
10-22-2007, 02:00 PM | #7 |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Indiana
Posts: 4,685
| I guess I'm the odd one out. I wouldn't mind telling my parents. Of course I'm 52 now, but didn't mind it when I was younger either. After all, they're his parents and just want the best for him...or at least I would think they would. I usually didn't give them a chance to ask....I just told them...why be so secretive.
__________________ Janet |
10-22-2007, 02:12 PM | #8 |
Spoilin' Tilly & Jack Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Indiana
Posts: 2,227
| I guess it's because I know they aren't very private and will tell everyone they know. I don't get along the best with them but we are friendly to each other most of the time. I told his mom something private about me and she blabbed it to everyone. Then once we got into an argument and someone else told me all the private things I had told her. I just know how they can be. Nothing is private with them.
__________________ Momma Tilly Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail. |
10-22-2007, 03:10 PM | #9 |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Indiana
Posts: 4,685
| I'm sorry to hear that. I was close with my in-laws so it would never occur to me not to tell them anything, but then they would never have asked either. I hope you all can have a better relationship, life's way to short.
__________________ Janet |
10-22-2007, 03:14 PM | #10 | |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: upstate ny
Posts: 5,847
| Quote:
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10-22-2007, 03:17 PM | #11 |
Piper & Sebastian Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: florida
Posts: 14,495
| He might just be feeling really proud of himself, and want to share it with his parents. Don't let it get to you.
__________________ Susan, Piper ,Harley & Suiki |
10-22-2007, 03:17 PM | #12 |
RIP Skoshi! Love You Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Wichita falls,tx
Posts: 3,383
| i also dont see why it matters either. I would tell my parents and my boyfriends parents. IF hes making great money why hide it from yalls parents? But this is only to an extent! IF friends asked then i dont think its their business. Its really something you and your hubby need to discuss. |
10-22-2007, 03:23 PM | #13 |
Mommy's Lil' Miracle Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Mufreesboro, TN
Posts: 1,028
| I don't think his parents are asking just to be nosy. I think they are asking about the money and benefits because they are proud of his accomplishment and because they want the assurance that all of you will be taken care of from a financial and medical standpoint. This is his parents so I don't see a reason to hide it from them. Just don't let this issue cause any problems between you or your hubby. This is a time to celebrate not stress!
__________________ I LOVE my little Furbutts! Last edited by drawlins27; 10-22-2007 at 03:25 PM. |
10-22-2007, 03:25 PM | #14 |
Spoilin' Tilly & Jack Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Indiana
Posts: 2,227
| Yeah, I know he doesn't mean anything by it, that's how hubby is. I just don't feel comfortable because that's how I was raised. They tend to take credit for things they don't do. Hubby has to pay back his college loans, but his dad has a bumper sticker that says "My son and my money goes to..." and then it says hubbys school. We just came from two separate types of families. I was always taught not to ask such questions and what not, but they didn't teach hubby and his sister much manners. I guess it would also be different if when his parents called they wouldn't just call to ask about the money and they would ask about my son as well.
__________________ Momma Tilly Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail. |
10-22-2007, 03:27 PM | #15 |
Kyle Plus 3 Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 6,929
| I think you're being unreasonable. It's his parents! Of course they are going to be interested in knowing how much he is going to be making (I could understand you not wanting to tell them how much you making). I think it's fine for them to ask especially if they helped pay his tuition (not sure if they did or not). I also think you have to take in consideration his age- I believe that you are both fairly young, right? It's not like he is graduating from college all that many years later than the average college student. |
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