I just got a call from my 4 yr old's teacher - YorkieTalk.com Forums

Graleyne · 10-01-2007, 10:27 AM

She wanted to let me know Olivia went to time out today for:

1.) talking during the moment of silence AND

2.) BITING a child, at lunch!

Olivia has NEVER ever bitten before. She has gotten frustrated and hit and kicked her brother a couple of times, but that's IT and I can count on one hand the number of times she'd done that.

Don't get me wrong, she has a temper and is a drama queen, but she doesn't direct it towards others.

What makes me even madder is that I called DH to tell him and he said, "Yeah, but what did that kid do to HER?" Even if another child did provoke her, Olivia still needs to learn that biting is inappropriate.

marcerella02 · 10-01-2007, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graleyne

She wanted to let me know Olivia went to time out today for:

1.) talking during the moment of silence AND

2.) BITING a child, at lunch!

Olivia has NEVER ever bitten before. She has gotten frustrated and hit and kicked her brother a couple of times, but that's IT and I can count on one hand the number of times she'd done that.

Don't get me wrong, she has a temper and is a drama queen, but she doesn't direct it towards others.

What makes me even madder is that I called DH to tell him and he said, "Yeah, but what did that kid do to HER?" Even if another child did provoke her, Olivia still needs to learn that biting is inappropriate.

i hate to defend your husband but if you say that Olivia would NEVER do this.. you have to wonder what happened to her that she was pushed SO far that she had to bite the kid... and why didn't the teacher stop whatever was happening before it got to that.. i'm in NO way saying that biting is ok

BUT when you do talk to her at least understand that she probably got "pushed" over the edge... poor kid... go easy on her mom

especially if this is out of character for her!

Graleyne · 10-01-2007, 10:33 AM

It isn't that he said the other kid provoked her, its that he acted like its OK for her to bite someone if she is pushed to that limit.

I want her to understand that it is NEVER ok to hurt someone else because you are angry.

SugarMama · 10-01-2007, 10:40 AM

Oh, I'm so sorry. Just try to remember that there are two sides to every story. Maybe ask her what happened - w/out volunteering any information. Ask her what she did at school, if she doesn't tell you she got in trouble then gently let her know her teacher called to tell you that she was in time out. Then ask her what happened. You never know, did the teacher actually see her bite someone or did another kid just say that she did it. I'm working on trying to have more patience and understanding w/ my kids. It's easy to get embarrassed when your kids get into trouble and to assume the worst. Maybe she did bite this kid, maybe he bullied her into a corner & she couldn't think of any other way to get away from his bullying, maybe it didn't really happen. Try to get all of the information from her point of view before you hand out the punishment. She has to learn not to bite, and it sounds like she already knows that, but she also needs to figure out how to appropriately react when someone else pushes her too far. I'm amazed sometimes that my kids don't hit someone, some kids can just be so mean. I'm amazed at some of the things that I hear/see kids do. I'm in the process of trying to learn how to get my 7 yr old to stand up for herself w/out going against her overly-compassionate nature. Good luck. Hope everything works out okay.

Superstarkba · 10-01-2007, 10:43 AM

I like the way you think. Whether she did something or not she shouldn't have bitten that other child. Are you going to get on to her when she gets home?

adorame · 10-01-2007, 10:47 AM

Talk to your daughter, she might have been bitten herself and now has learned too defend herself this way. My son started to bite after he was bitten at preschool. We had so many talked with him about biting and he knew it hurts. We told him that if someone is being mean or unfair to go get the teacher. He bit once and that was all it took, he did not like being in trouble by his teacher.

Yorkiekids · 10-01-2007, 10:51 AM

I would ask her what happened, and then make it perfectly clear that biting is not acceptable. Punching in the nose is. LOL

Graleyne · 10-01-2007, 11:11 AM

I am going to ask her what happened and try to figure it out.

But she absolutely is getting NO television tonight. No Dragontails, no Spongebob, nothing. That's just because it is never ever OK to bite someone.

stedmansmommy · 10-01-2007, 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graleyne

I am going to ask her what happened and try to figure it out.

But she absolutely is getting NO television tonight. No Dragontails, no Spongebob, nothing. That's just because it is never ever OK to bite someone.

Awwww, I just have to say - I absolutely love reading your posts

It is so obvious that you care about and love your children SO MUCH. You just sound like the best mom

Your children are very lucky to have you for their mommy!

Graleyne · 10-01-2007, 11:18 AM

Aww thank you. I try really hard. My own childhood sucked so I try to be the kind of parent I wish I had when I was a kid.

It gets rough sometimes especially with three of them and one of them being a teenager now.

SugarMama · 10-01-2007, 11:32 AM

Ugh, I don't even want to think about the teenage years! Hormones, dating, driving...ahhh!

Graleyne · 10-01-2007, 11:35 AM

Ok, so the story I got from Olivia is that they were eating lunch and her friend, Liberty, didn't want to play with her or be her friend anymore. Olivia didn't know why Libery wouldn't be her friend so she got mad and bit her on the arm. Liberty didn't cry she just told on her and she had to sit in time out. Now Liberty won't play with her or talk to her because she bit her. (can't really blame her).

So now Olivia has no friends because no one wants to play with her because they said she was "Biter Girl". No one wants to play with someone who might bite them. But she only bit Liberty because she was mad and she isn't mad at EVERYBODY.

Pre-K drama!

She is now in her room sobbing because of the no television.

SugarMama · 10-01-2007, 11:38 AM

Oh poor girl. It stinks being little. I'm so glad I don't have to go through it all again...although, I think it's harder on me being the Mom & going through it all because I want to be able to fix everything. She's learning a tough lesson - actions have consequences...bite someone, no one will play for a while. Hopefully she won't have a rough time at school tomorrow.

La Princesa · 10-01-2007, 11:41 AM

One thing a hate about being a parent is that many times they will reprimand a child without getting a full story or even make them say sorry without getting both sides. When i got up to school for problems i always sit down with the Principle and teacher and my child. I want my child to know that what he says to me he cans say to his school staff. I get their story, now before i let them start ranting on him i let him tell his story as well. sometimes when your not there they will say i don't know and get intimidated. But with me there we get the full story.

So say if my Aaron bit another child i and Aaron told me well I bite them because they kept putting their hand on my things and i told them to stop. Then I am able to tell Aaron that biting is never a solution and let him know its ok to take the teacher aside and let them know that you are happy because so and so is touching my things. That way the teacher can deal with it instead of the child. Then I go ahead and agree with the Principal on their punishment so that the child knows that I am in agreement with Principal that my child did something wrong and XYZ is going to be the punishment.

Now if the other child is not innocent in my eye, I then also talk to the Principle alone and ask if the other child was reprimanded for what they did as well and if no why not.

La Princesa · 10-01-2007, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graleyne

Ok, so the story I got from Olivia is that they were eating lunch and her friend, Liberty, didn't want to play with her or be her friend anymore. Olivia didn't know why Libery wouldn't be her friend so she got mad and bit her on the arm. Liberty didn't cry she just told on her and she had to sit in time out. Now Liberty won't play with her or talk to her because she bit her. (can't really blame her).

So now Olivia has no friends because no one wants to play with her because they said she was "Biter Girl". No one wants to play with someone who might bite them. But she only bit Liberty because she was mad and she isn't mad at EVERYBODY.

Pre-K drama!

She is now in her room sobbing because of the no television.

AWWWWW that sucks.. poor baby. They will be friends again in a few weeks lol.

10-01-2007, 10:27 AM	#1
Graleyne Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Georgia Posts: 2,563	I just got a call from my 4 yr old's teacher She wanted to let me know Olivia went to time out today for: 1.) talking during the moment of silence AND 2.) BITING a child, at lunch! Olivia has NEVER ever bitten before. She has gotten frustrated and hit and kicked her brother a couple of times, but that's IT and I can count on one hand the number of times she'd done that. Don't get me wrong, she has a temper and is a drama queen, but she doesn't direct it towards others. What makes me even madder is that I called DH to tell him and he said, "Yeah, but what did that kid do to HER?" Even if another child did provoke her, Olivia still needs to learn that biting is inappropriate. __________________ Aerrica, and Norman RIP my sweet Poopanut

10-01-2007, 10:33 AM	#3
Graleyne Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Georgia Posts: 2,563	It isn't that he said the other kid provoked her, its that he acted like its OK for her to bite someone if she is pushed to that limit. I want her to understand that it is NEVER ok to hurt someone else because you are angry. __________________ Aerrica, and Norman RIP my sweet Poopanut

10-01-2007, 10:40 AM	#4
SugarMama YT Addict Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Minnesota Posts: 479	Oh, I'm so sorry. Just try to remember that there are two sides to every story. Maybe ask her what happened - w/out volunteering any information. Ask her what she did at school, if she doesn't tell you she got in trouble then gently let her know her teacher called to tell you that she was in time out. Then ask her what happened. You never know, did the teacher actually see her bite someone or did another kid just say that she did it. I'm working on trying to have more patience and understanding w/ my kids. It's easy to get embarrassed when your kids get into trouble and to assume the worst. Maybe she did bite this kid, maybe he bullied her into a corner & she couldn't think of any other way to get away from his bullying, maybe it didn't really happen. Try to get all of the information from her point of view before you hand out the punishment. She has to learn not to bite, and it sounds like she already knows that, but she also needs to figure out how to appropriately react when someone else pushes her too far. I'm amazed sometimes that my kids don't hit someone, some kids can just be so mean. I'm amazed at some of the things that I hear/see kids do. I'm in the process of trying to learn how to get my 7 yr old to stand up for herself w/out going against her overly-compassionate nature. Good luck. Hope everything works out okay. __________________ Have a great day! ~Mindy~

10-01-2007, 10:51 AM	#7
Yorkiekids Piper & Sebastian Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: florida Posts: 14,495	I would ask her what happened, and then make it perfectly clear that biting is not acceptable. Punching in the nose is. LOL __________________ Susan, Piper ,Harley & Suiki

10-01-2007, 11:11 AM	#8
Graleyne Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Georgia Posts: 2,563	I am going to ask her what happened and try to figure it out. But she absolutely is getting NO television tonight. No Dragontails, no Spongebob, nothing. That's just because it is never ever OK to bite someone. __________________ Aerrica, and Norman RIP my sweet Poopanut

10-01-2007, 10:43 AM	#5
Superstarkba Aubrey's Mom Donating Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Georgia Posts: 9,369	I like the way you think. Whether she did something or not she shouldn't have bitten that other child. Are you going to get on to her when she gets home?

10-01-2007, 10:47 AM	#6
adorame YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Ohio Posts: 2,312 Blog Entries: 1	Talk to your daughter, she might have been bitten herself and now has learned too defend herself this way. My son started to bite after he was bitten at preschool. We had so many talked with him about biting and he knew it hurts. We told him that if someone is being mean or unfair to go get the teacher. He bit once and that was all it took, he did not like being in trouble by his teacher.

10-01-2007, 11:18 AM	#10
Graleyne Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Georgia Posts: 2,563	Aww thank you. I try really hard. My own childhood sucked so I try to be the kind of parent I wish I had when I was a kid. It gets rough sometimes especially with three of them and one of them being a teenager now. __________________ Aerrica, and Norman RIP my sweet Poopanut

10-01-2007, 11:32 AM	#11
SugarMama YT Addict Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Minnesota Posts: 479	Ugh, I don't even want to think about the teenage years! Hormones, dating, driving...ahhh! __________________ Have a great day! ~Mindy~

10-01-2007, 11:35 AM	#12
Graleyne Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Georgia Posts: 2,563	Ok, so the story I got from Olivia is that they were eating lunch and her friend, Liberty, didn't want to play with her or be her friend anymore. Olivia didn't know why Libery wouldn't be her friend so she got mad and bit her on the arm. Liberty didn't cry she just told on her and she had to sit in time out. Now Liberty won't play with her or talk to her because she bit her. (can't really blame her). So now Olivia has no friends because no one wants to play with her because they said she was "Biter Girl". No one wants to play with someone who might bite them. But she only bit Liberty because she was mad and she isn't mad at EVERYBODY. Pre-K drama! She is now in her room sobbing because of the no television. __________________ Aerrica, and Norman RIP my sweet Poopanut

10-01-2007, 11:38 AM	#13
SugarMama YT Addict Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Minnesota Posts: 479	Oh poor girl. It stinks being little. I'm so glad I don't have to go through it all again...although, I think it's harder on me being the Mom & going through it all because I want to be able to fix everything. She's learning a tough lesson - actions have consequences...bite someone, no one will play for a while. Hopefully she won't have a rough time at school tomorrow. __________________ Have a great day! ~Mindy~

10-01-2007, 11:41 AM	#14
La Princesa YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Puerto Rico Posts: 542	One thing a hate about being a parent is that many times they will reprimand a child without getting a full story or even make them say sorry without getting both sides. When i got up to school for problems i always sit down with the Principle and teacher and my child. I want my child to know that what he says to me he cans say to his school staff. I get their story, now before i let them start ranting on him i let him tell his story as well. sometimes when your not there they will say i don't know and get intimidated. But with me there we get the full story. So say if my Aaron bit another child i and Aaron told me well I bite them because they kept putting their hand on my things and i told them to stop. Then I am able to tell Aaron that biting is never a solution and let him know its ok to take the teacher aside and let them know that you are happy because so and so is touching my things. That way the teacher can deal with it instead of the child. Then I go ahead and agree with the Principal on their punishment so that the child knows that I am in agreement with Principal that my child did something wrong and XYZ is going to be the punishment. Now if the other child is not innocent in my eye, I then also talk to the Principle alone and ask if the other child was reprimanded for what they did as well and if no why not.