|
Welcome to the YorkieTalk.com Forums Community - the community for Yorkshire Terriers. You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. You will be able to chat with over 35,000 YorkieTalk members, read over 2,000,000 posted discussions, and view more than 15,000 Yorkie photos in the YorkieTalk Photo Gallery after you register. We would love to have you as a member! Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today! If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please click here to contact us. |
|
| LinkBack | Thread Tools |
09-30-2007, 06:20 AM | #1 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Georgia
Posts: 2,563
| I am the worst mother ever and I don't care! I am so tired of my kids sitting around doing nothing and expecting me to do everything AND them to still get allowance, computer privileges, etc. So as of today allowance, computer time, television, phone, all of it is cut off until I see quite a lot of improvement on the help I get around here. I got up this morning feeling worse than ever (I think I now have a cold on top of the ear infection). They asked if I was cooking breakfast. Fine. I did because I thought maybe I'd feel better if I ate something too. Well, afterwards I asked my 13 yr old to clean up the kitchen and asked my 10 yr old to get the towels out of both bathrooms so I can wash them. You would have thought I was asking them for kidney the way they whined and complained and stomped off. That was the last straw for me. I don't expect them to take care of the entire house, but they are old enough to do take on some chores. Lauren is more than old enough to wash dishes and Michel can absolutely gather dirty towels. Even Olivia, who is 4, can put away her own toys. Lauren is in there washing the dishes but sobbing because I told her no phone. It isn't fair, she says. Well, it isn't fair for me to be sick and have to do everything while they sit around and make messes and for me to pay them anyway. Michel informed me he was telling his dad. I saved him the trouble and called him on the phone and told him myself and DARED him to go against it. There are going to be some changes around here. From now on allowance and privileges are going to be earned. I am making chore charts. They can either do what I ask - without throwing a fit, or they can not get allowance, etc. Its up to them.
__________________ Aerrica, and Norman RIP my sweet Poopanut |
Welcome Guest! | |
09-30-2007, 06:24 AM | #2 |
Aubrey's Mom Donating Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Georgia
Posts: 9,369
| Awe, I would hate to be them. I know how it is to have to "earn" everything. But it helped me realize to obey them when they ask me to do something, without back talking them or pitching a fit. My parents are going through this with my 4 year old sister, she got a spanken this morning for not cleaning up her toys. |
09-30-2007, 06:27 AM | #3 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Georgia
Posts: 2,563
| My 4 yr old is actually the better of the three - usually. She has her moments and can be a drama queen, but she usually does what I ask her. Its the oldest two that act like they are dying if they are asked to so much as lift as finger. Lauren is 13 and Michel will be 11 in November so they are more than old enough to pitch in around here.
__________________ Aerrica, and Norman RIP my sweet Poopanut |
09-30-2007, 06:28 AM | #4 |
2 Pups=Double Trouble! Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Iowa
Posts: 6,581
| I don't think that mkaes you a bad mom at all, I think it's good that you are teaching your children about responsibility. They should be expected to do chores in order to earn allowance. If they choose not to do what is expected of them, then they will deal with the consequence! If a chore chart will work for them/you-that's great, but I think 10 and 13 might be a little old for something like that, depending on your individual kids. Something my mom (and my grandma with her children) used was that if a child complained about doing a chore that was generally expected of them, they got a warning. The next complaint resulted in the assignment of another chore. If that was disputed, the list got longer! So, for example, if I complained about doing the dishes, I was warned once, and then it was the dishes and the kitchen floor. If I whined about that at ALL, then it was the dishes, the floor, and a load of laundry to fold-and believe me, there are some strong and stubborn women in my family, and I've heard about how long those lists can get! The great things about this is that 1) they get chores done 2) they learn about responsibility and consequences 3) you get chores done that you would normally have to do yourself 4) there's no "grounding" of any kind-the kids do their jobs, and they're on their way to do what they want! It's beautiful, and I plan to use this with my children someday!
__________________ Suzy Emma & Milli What's better than loving a yorkie? Loving two yorkies! Milli 's Remi! |
09-30-2007, 06:30 AM | #5 |
Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Dresher, PA
Posts: 2,779
| Your're not horrible. It's something you need to instill in them while they are young, and ease into bigger chores when they are older. I hate to say it but its probably going to get worse with your teen daughter, I know I was a big jerk as a teen to say the least. Maybe when you do the chart you can put the priviledge next to the chore, so they see the "goal" for doing something. Last edited by grayxie; 09-30-2007 at 06:31 AM. |
09-30-2007, 06:32 AM | #6 | |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Georgia
Posts: 2,563
| Quote:
That actually doesn't sound like a bad idea. Maybe we will give that a try! When I say "chore chart" I don't mean the kind like I would make for my 4 yr old. I just meant a list of exactly what is expected of them. Lauren is the type who you can't tell to just go do the dishes. You have to break it down for her. Go into the kitchen. Fill up the sink with hot water AND dish soap. Put the dishes in the soapy water. Wash them and make sure they are CLEAN. Rinse the dishes in clean water until all the soap is off. Dry them. Put them away where they belong.
__________________ Aerrica, and Norman RIP my sweet Poopanut | |
09-30-2007, 06:34 AM | #7 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: NYC
Posts: 1,859
| Oh do I hear you! my daughter is going on 12 this month and you know sometimes I just dont get it! My husband and I take care of everything here, cooking cleaning etc so we figured its time she helps also...I was still doing her bed! well we made the same changes and at first she had a hard time adjusting too. Rolling her eyes, stomping away, huffing and puffing etc. I put an end to that ASAP because that is disrespectful and now...she doesnt need to be told what to do she just does it. It gets better believe me. My 5 and 6 year old have chores as well. Some might think they are too young but I dont think so lol. my 5 yr old is sooooo neat she will be the first one with her bed done in the morning, and she does it right LOL.
__________________ Its SummerTime! |
09-30-2007, 06:37 AM | #8 |
Donating YT 10K Club Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Alabama
Posts: 17,674
| Sounds to me like you are being a good responsible mother which is so much harder than just giving in. Stick to your guns and your kids will thank you for it one day. My kids grew up with the understanding that as a parent I was required to provide.... Food -- pinto beans, cornbread and coleslaw with a glass of cold white milk makes a nice balanced meal Clothing -- Goodwill and Salvation as well as Walmart have some nice clothes -- so don't complain about your clothing allowance Shelter -- means a roof over your head -- running water and electricity are a bonus Education -- YOU WILL go to school I was not a perfect mother, I made a lot of mistakes, but I did try very hard to instill a sense of value and work ethics. No meant NO!!!! And if I said no you'd better not ask again OR go to daddy. Parenting is an on-going education. You have to adapt and adjust to each kid every day. |
09-30-2007, 06:39 AM | #9 |
No Longer A Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: NEW YORK
Posts: 16,218
| I think most mother's can relate to what you are feeling today. Overwelmed! They should have responsibilities. It seems they have been riding free. Make your charts and let them earn their allowance. There is nothing wrong with children pulling their own weight around the house. It's important that they feel they are part of a family team. They might be mad to start but it's their responsiblity as well to help out and do chores. Sit down and have a family discussion. Tell them how your feeling. You might be surprised to find out they understand if you talk and not wait until your ready to explode from all the work. Good luck to you, |
09-30-2007, 06:40 AM | #10 |
2 Pups=Double Trouble! Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Iowa
Posts: 6,581
| I think all kids should have chores to do-starting at 18-24 months of age. The chores as tots are obviously very small, like putting blocks in a bin, putting other toys away, stacking books, etc. I was a nanny for a few years...I would have the 3 & 4 year olds help empty the dishwasher by putting tupperware away in the bottom cupboard, or putting away silverware (no knives, of course), but it's like a matching game for them-spoons/forks/butter knives! They can also help by matching socks, folding washcloths, and putting laundry like socks and undies away in drawers. Once the kids know this is simply expected of them and that it's not up for debate, everyone is happier, and the chores just get done! But, I know how difficult teen girls can be-I was awful at that age I know it gets better with time and lots of patience!
__________________ Suzy Emma & Milli What's better than loving a yorkie? Loving two yorkies! Milli 's Remi! |
09-30-2007, 06:42 AM | #11 |
Piper & Sebastian Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: florida
Posts: 14,495
| You're not a bad mom. You're a mom who's decided to take a stance to make your kids grow into responsible adults. Believe me if I had it to do over again I'd do the same things. My kid 17 and 21 think the world owes them a living. They can't comprehend the concept of getting a job, and being responsible adults, and I feel like it's my fault for not making them tow the rope when I could have. Now I have signs all over the house. For example dirty bathroom = no computer. The bathroom has been cleaned ever since. We're suppose to have a family meeting to discuss chores and who's responsible for them. I've been a slacker for too long, and I can't take it anymore, so keep on top of them whether they whine or not. It'll pay off in the end.
__________________ Susan, Piper ,Harley & Suiki |
09-30-2007, 06:44 AM | #12 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Georgia
Posts: 2,563
| They are having a VERY difficult time with no meaning NO. That's part of what set me off this morning. Michel wanted to play a computer game. I said no. Five minutes later he asked gain. I said no - again. This time it wasn't even five minutes before he was asking again. When I told him no yet again he started with the, "WHY? Why can't I play it? Please, mom? Can I play? WHY won't you let me just play the game?" Then he stomped off and slung himself on the couch. Lauren, is in there washing the dishes, but crying and yelling about it isn't fair that she is working like a slave and I'm not doing anything but sitting here on the computer.
__________________ Aerrica, and Norman RIP my sweet Poopanut |
09-30-2007, 06:47 AM | #13 |
2 Pups=Double Trouble! Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Iowa
Posts: 6,581
| That's when you say that you're taking a sanity break!
__________________ Suzy Emma & Milli What's better than loving a yorkie? Loving two yorkies! Milli 's Remi! |
09-30-2007, 06:50 AM | #14 | |
No Longer a Member | Quote:
| |
09-30-2007, 06:57 AM | #15 |
Phantom Queen Morrigan Donating Member | man your kids get an allowance for doing chores and or nothing (pre-chore time)? wow! wish i lived in your house. i never received an allowance simply because my parents couldn't afford it. I was expected to clean my room and make my bed every day. And Sunday's are cleaning day. Me and my sister had to help clean the house and we usually got stuck with the bathroom ( i still have cleaning the bathroom LOL). Every night after dinner one of us would have to wash and the other clear the table and dry. During the summer months Fridays were straightening up days so while my parents were at work me and my sister had to clean the bathroom, dust and windex, and vacumm. How we split the chores were up to us and me being the younger sister usually got stuck with dusting, windexing and cleaning the shower and scrubbing the shower doors with fantastic w/ bleach until they shown, and if they didn't when my mom got home i had to clean them again. Tell those kids of yours they are lucky to have what they have. I didn't have computers/phones/video games (until the first nintendo system came out) to be taken away so i just got grounded in my room if i didn't go what i was asked (which was quite alot ). good luck!!!
__________________ Kellie and Morgan |
Bookmarks |
|
|
| |
|
|
SHOP NOW: Amazon :: eBay :: Buy.com :: Newegg :: PetStore :: Petco :: PetSmart