Does anyone live with anyone that is bi-polar??

[sweetr72]

I am looking to find someone who might be living with someone who is bi-polar and wont get help for it? What if anything have you done to convince them they need help...I am certain that my common law is and if he dosent go and find help I am going to have to leave him...the low lows are really ruining MY quality of life and I have lived with this for soooo long...he wont go for help or an evaluation even...has anyone here been in my shoes??

Dawn

[RowdysMom]

I'm so sorry to hear this. I don't live an anyone who is bipolar - but have an aunt who is, and even though she sees a psychiatrist and is on meds, she is still very difficult to deal with. Personally, I don't know how her husband stands it!

Good luck, hopefully someone will be able to give you some good advice.

[Patti]

Sorry to hear what you are going thru. My DH is in my opinion depressed. He went on meds for 2 months and it was a dream to live with him, then he decided that they made him to tired and stopped them. It is hard to convince someone to get help if they don't want it but maybe if you show him you are serious about leaving unless he gets help he will at least go for an evaluation. Good luck

[Anna Banana]

I understand what you're going through, because I have Borderline Personality Disorder, which is somewhat similar to Bipolar Personality Disorder. I know I'm a pain in the butt to deal with, and sometimes I don't know why my boyfriend and family put up with it.

If he absolutely won't get help, there's nothing you can do. You really don't deserve to have your life ruined because of his refusal to help himself and you. Have you tried talking to him about it during his "highs"? Is he more receptive to it then?

I will tell you that if you could convince him to get help, in the form of therapy, medication, or whatever is necessary, it will make a world of difference.

[sweetr72]

Originally Posted by Anna Banana

I understand what you're going through, because I have Borderline Personality Disorder, which is somewhat similar to Bipolar Personality Disorder. I know I'm a pain in the butt to deal with, and sometimes I don't know why my boyfriend and family put up with it.

If he absolutely won't get help, there's nothing you can do. You really don't deserve to have your life ruined because of his refusal to help himself and you. Have you tried talking to him about it during his "highs"? Is he more receptive to it then?

I will tell you that if you could convince him to get help, in the form of therapy, medication, or whatever is necessary, it will make a world of difference.

Oh sure yes I have talked to him in his highs and he will agree at some times to go get help but wont follow through and it seems lately his moodswings have really gotten closer and closer together and its hard to find a good time to talk to him. I am at the point where I am going to leave him. He is at the point where he thinks I need help and not him which is really messed up...thanks for all of your advice everyone I really appreaciate it..and for those who are in my shoes I am glad to know Im not alone..

Dawn

[LuvMySissy]

Hi Dawn-
I have both a brother and a cousin who are bi-polar. I helped out many times with my cousin for weeks at a time. She is bi-polar with scizoid features along with obsessive/compulsive disorder. She is on meds and has been, but nothing seems to work for very long.

More than ever, when dealing with mental health issues, a good healthy diet low in sugar and salt helps, as does a regular sleep/wake pattern and an exercise program.

But, if he refuses to seek help there isn't much you can do for him. Many bi-polar people don't like the meds, especially if they like the manic stage.

My brother has a much milder case and once he got on meds and started in counseling he is a completely different person.

Good luck to you.

[Yorkiekids]

I know this sounds harsh, but you need to either get him to the Doctor, or walk out. You can't make him get help if he doesn't want it, but you shouldn't have to suffer either.

[Gizmo's Mom]

I did a search years ago for online support groups of Bi-Polar. There are a few if you would like for me to look them up again. My daughter has been on Effexor, Seroquel, and Lithium for 3 years now. Not only can she not stand herself when she misses doses but she gets severe migraines..I guess from her levels being imbalanced. I am not the best source of information as I have had to struggle and learn on my own, but there is a vast world of information on the internet. I can very well see where you could be ready to leave if he doesn't get help. I am a Mom and can't comprehend what being the better half would be like. There is support out there. Like others have said it won't do much good if he does't believe there is a problem. I will pray for you and your situation hun.

[BLowry]

My husband was recently diagnosed bi-polar and having a mood disorder. I knew this a few years ago. I THANK GOD everyday that he FINALLY went for help...I was at the end of my rope. They are still trying to regulate his meds. Please pm me if you would like...I really don't want to go into it on a public forum. I know what you are going through and.....it's not easy.

[RMKC]

Originally Posted by Patti

Sorry to hear what you are going thru. My DH is in my opinion depressed. He went on meds for 2 months and it was a dream to live with him, then he decided that they made him to tired and stopped them. It is hard to convince someone to get help if they don't want it but maybe if you show him you are serious about leaving unless he gets help he will at least go for an evaluation. Good luck

My Stepdad had it,(he died 3 yrs ago from several things) and he put my Mom through hell, he also went off Meds a few times, and each time he got in soo much trouble, he moraged and lost 2 Houses , buying stuff, like several cars and giving them away... The last time he ran off, and was found in Texas, mind you we live in Washington State and living in a dumpster... the list goes on... and the sad part is they cant make them take the Meds if they dont want to. There realy needs to be a law, where they can be forced, if the illness is confirmed. It can be a nightmare if untreated. Soo many people have it. If he wont get help , run like hell !!!

[sassypup]

I'm so sorry to hear, I don't know anyone bipolar personally but just wanted to wish you luck on finding help. Perhaps are there any local groups you can join for support and assistance on getting him to find help? Read up as much as you can and do some good research on the web. Best of luck.

[Superstarkba]

Yes, I do. My mom is bi-polar. You can pm me if you need to talk to someone about it.

[chachi]

I have bipolar. I was hell to live with before I got on my meds. It was a struggle finding the right meds but once I did they have worked miracles for me. I cant fall asleep without my meds so I always take them. You might convince him to go into counciling with you where a counciller could convince him to get the help. He doesnt realize it but his whole life will change for him and he will feel alot better. I have seen where loved ones have called the police on their loved one and they put them in the hospital and they got on their meds that way also. Also Nami has great support groups you can join

[drawlins27]

My heart goes out to all of you with Bipolar disorder and for those of you that are living with someone who suffers from it.

Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do to help him get treatment until he is ready. The fact is that you cannot force him to get help unless he presents a danger to his own safety, or to the lives of others. But there are some things you can do to support him and reduce the impact of his illness on the family until he is ready to seek treatment.

First of all, you should know that you are not alone and that it is very common for those with bipolar disorder to resist getting any type of help especially when he's in a manic state. One of the frustrating things about this illness is that it distorts a person's thinking to the point where they don't realize they need help.

Second, don't threaten to leave unless you are fully prepared to follow through with it. Otherwise it just becomes an empty threat. Leaving may or may not be the best option for you.

Third, find out everything you can about this illness. The only way to fight it is to arm yourself against it. Read everything you can about it. Use books, websites, discussion forums, whatever you can find. Find a support group either online or in person. Support groups are filled with people who have been there and can provide some understanding. They can also help with advice, suggestions, coping strategies, and sometimes it helps just to have someone to listen to you. If he sees how dedicated you are to helping him, it may persuade him to get help.

Finally, the time may come when you have to realize that you have done everything you can to help him. At some point, it will be impossible for you to continue to support him without his cooperation. Only you will know when the time is right for you to leave.

Feel free to PM me and I'll help however I can.

Resources I Suggest:

Bipolar Significant Others
http://www.bpso.org

Mood Disorders Society of Canada
http://www.mooddisorderscanada.ca/

Tips for Family members of those with bipolar who refuse to get help
http://bipolarworld.net/Family&SOS/getting_help.htm

Books:
Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder: Understanding & Helping Your Partner
I Am Not Sick I Don't Need Help!: Helping the Severely Mentally Ill Seek Treatment

[miezzi]

Originally Posted by sweetr72

I am looking to find someone who might be living with someone who is bi-polar and wont get help for it? What if anything have you done to convince them they need help...I am certain that my common law is and if he dosent go and find help I am going to have to leave him...the low lows are really ruining MY quality of life and I have lived with this for soooo long...he wont go for help or an evaluation even...has anyone here been in my shoes??

Dawn

I am soo sorry to hear about what you are going thru. I know it can be very difficult and very stressful. I have just gone thru something very similiar, and yes, there is something you can do.

My dad has just been diagnosed with Bipolar Depression and severe anxiety. He has been very sick like this for many years. And he would not and could not leave the house to get help. About 4 years ago, after about 10 days of begging and pleading with him to get help, he finally got in the car and we got him to the hospital. It was terrible. My dad had lost almost 40 lbs, wasn't eating, not showering, just not taking care of himself. But he got help. (LOng story short...) About 6 monthes later, he decided that since he was feeling better, he could just get off his meds. Against the doctors orders, and all. He did well for about 3 years...til this past June.

He fell right back into his depression, and again, was not taking care of himself. He basically stated that he wanted to die instead of living in this constant fear he was feeling again. So I begged and begged again, and nothing. This time, I knew he wouldn't get help. So thats when I got help.

I called Adult Protective Services, and they were a great start. Its under Valley counseling. I am sure your city or town has something similiar. But since he wasn't an imminent threat to himself or to someone else, there wasn't anything legally they could do. But they gave me a name of a lawyer to call who specializes in this. I did. He met with me, and had me go to the Family counceling offices, and I had to file an affidavid...(spelling???) about my father. I told them everything that had been going on. So from there, they sent me straight over to the probate court to get an order of detention, for the Sherriff's deputies to actually go pick up my father, and transport him to the hospital. Which was granted right away. He had no choice then at this point to get help.

The Sheriff's showed up at his house, and thank god my dad came out willingly, but if he would not have. they would have had to actually break into the house and basically arrest him.

But...he got to the hospital...that was the most imprtant thing. My lawyer was the one who put me in contact with the doctor who would then admit him, and be taking care of him.

So I say, call a lawyer. Give them the info about your common law. Its a start, but there are ways to get them the help they need. My father was very upset with me at fisrt, and now 6 weeks later, he is thanking me. I have actually taken things further, and took him to court, to get guardianship of him. Its in his best interest. This way, I know he cannot go off his meds, and of he does, all I have to do is call the ambulance, and they take him back to the hospital.

Do what ever it takes. THere are places to call....such as that valley counceling, family services, adult protective services, lifelines, look in the phone book....I did. I called, and this time it was so much easier. If only I knew then what I know now. It also takes alot of time for them to get to be almost normal.

I hope things work out for you. But if you love this person, try everything you can to get them help. The longer they are without help, the further down they get, and the tougher it is to climb back up.

If you have any questions or need anyhting, please feel free to PM me.
This is actually the 1st time I have talked about this publically. But if I can help someone out, then it is worth it.

Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.....