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08-18-2007, 09:54 AM | #1 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Georgia
Posts: 2,563
| Frustrated WARNING - this thread contains a lot of WHINING and includes the throwing of a self pity party. A little history: I have CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome). I also have OCD. I'm a chronic worrier, a control freak, and a perfectionist. I'm sure all of that contributes to one or more of the following complaint(s). DH was home Thurday and Friday. So for those two days everything was go go go. Grocery store, music store, here, there, everywhere! He doesn't understand that I have a schedule and a system for keeping this household running. So now I'm two days behind on everything. Two days doesn't sound like a lot, but with a DH, 3 kids, dogs, birds, etc it IS! The other thing that has me ticked off, is that whenever we have to go someplace and take the kids he does NOTHING to help. He either lays in bed until 5 minutes before we have to leave (if its in the morning) then throws his clothes on and we leave. OR he sits there playing on the computer and then we're all ready to go and not only did I have to get everyone ready BY MYSELF, we have to stand there on wait on him to finish doing whatever he was doing on there, put his shoes on, do this, do that before we can leave. I am really really tired of it. I'm tired of talking to him about it and explaining it to him. All that does, is get him to "try" harder for about a week or so or until I've gotten off his case and then its the same sh*t, different day. He doesn't even notice I'm around 99.9% of the time unless he needs to know where something is or because I've gotten behind on things and the house is a mess. Then it's only to ask why the house is messy. Please don't tell me to sit him and talk to him about all of this. I HAVE. It only works until I'm off his case then it just goes right back to hell. ~Graleyne - the invisible maid
__________________ Aerrica, and Norman RIP my sweet Poopanut |
Welcome Guest! | |
08-18-2007, 10:08 AM | #2 |
Lovin' to the MAX!! Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Yorkieville
Posts: 2,774
| Hmmm...his name wouldn't be DAN, would it be? I'm wondering if my dh is going to your house during the week when he says he's working in LA, rofl . I don't have children (or I'd be REALLY upset), but have the rest and it's exactly the same way on the weekends when dh gets home. Run, run run, here, there and hurry up to go everywhere, get virtually nothing accomplished other than the house looking like a Chinese fire drill (no offense to anyone, honestly; my nephew is half Japanese) and if dh isn't sitting in front of the tv, dozing off, he's in BED half the day or more. I will stipulate that he DOES work hard and he DOES get up very early all week, but it is still a little frustrating having to do EVERY single little thing around the house (and Im not OCD, but I'm a total control freak in the house esp. and probably come pretty close to it); which includes cleaning up his making a sandwich where he just flops down a couple of pieces of bread onto the COUNTER (no...why bother with a plate; he'd just have to put it in the sink ) RIGHT after I just got done wiping it down! Or take out some cookies, open them up, eat them over the counter and leave all the crumbs just sitting all over it. It is enough to drive a sane person to the brink! So, I can't give you any advice, b/c they aren't going to change. I just tell him I don't appreciate it and also, I won't buy anymore cookies if he's not able to clean up after himself. Just wanted you to know that you're not alone! And here, I thought I was the only one with a "partner" like that . And oh yeah...if something isn't within eyesight or jumps into his hands, he has to find me to help him find it....like what's the answer to "where did you hide the tuna?".....it's in the fridge of course, but oh geeze...he had to move another container to see it....if it were icecream or cookies, he woulda sniffed it out, lol.
__________________ Seana and Max and Madison too! Come visit me at: celebritydogwatcher.com Last edited by nvnvgirl; 08-18-2007 at 10:12 AM. |
08-18-2007, 10:39 AM | #3 |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Indiana
Posts: 4,685
| Make a list of things that need done before you go anywhere. Then when you know you're leaving, hand him the list of things you want him to do to help get ready. That way you're not doing it all on your own. (make sure you photo copy this 100 times...lol)
__________________ Janet |
08-18-2007, 11:09 AM | #4 |
Piper & Sebastian Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: florida
Posts: 14,495
| I like the idea of making him a list, and tell him you're not going until he's done his part.
__________________ Susan, Piper ,Harley & Suiki |
08-18-2007, 11:31 AM | #5 |
My Angels Donating Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Colorful Colorado
Posts: 2,260
| All I can say is welcome to married life. If it werent for me the weeds wouldnt get picked, the dogs wouldnt get washed or brushed, housework wouldnt get done, and on and on and on. When I point out the fact the lawn hasnt been mowed in a couple weeks all I here is he is tired of me riding his a$$. He once had the audacity to say he does as much around here as I do. LOL... and the fight was on. Hehehe. He does cook 99% of the meals and he will load the dishwasher and do a load of laundry every once in a while so I cant complain too much. If I made him a list he would laugh his butt off. |
08-18-2007, 11:35 AM | #6 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Georgia
Posts: 2,563
| I don't deny that he does work hard. He is up and gone at 4:30 in the morning and it is usually after 8pm when he gets back home. However, my days start just early and end quite a bit later than his do. You should hear him talking to other people. If I hear, "Well, you know I'm the only working in the home so...." one more time!!!! I bust my @ss 24/7. I don't get sick days - hell, I don't even get sick MINUTES, I don't get paid, I don't get thanked, I don't get breaks, I don't get time off. He can't even make a decision. If the kids ask them if they can have something, he tells them to come and ask me. How hard is it to say yes or no? It's common sense! Yes, the kids can watch Spongebob on television. No, the kids can not stick strips of metal in the electrical sockets. It doesn't take a friggin' rocket scientist. I'm tired of watching him have all the fun with the kids. I don't get to have fun. I'm too busy handling all the other stuff. I'm tired of the double standard. He gets a little case of the sniffles, and the world STOPS. I have the flu, and in between throwing up I still have to take care of the house and kids. Maybe I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, but I am just tired of all of it!
__________________ Aerrica, and Norman RIP my sweet Poopanut |
08-18-2007, 11:39 AM | #7 |
Donating YT Addict Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Georgia
Posts: 6,234
| I can totally understand. I have fibromyalgia and severe degenerating disks in my spine. Plus, I am a worrywart and control freak. I am no longer able to work outside of my home. People (like your husband) have to realize that you have just so much energy. You cannot do one thing right after another...even if they are FUN things. You cannot physically do it. Could your doctor explain it to him? Or, get a 'note' from the doctor stating that you must take time off for yourself or something lile that. Go somewhere for a weekend by yourself and leave him with the chores! Then, to make matters worse, besides feeling bad physically, you feel guilty because you cannot keep up with him. Hang in there. ((HUG))
__________________ Jeanne: Mom to Betty & Juju Bean |
08-18-2007, 01:07 PM | #8 |
Love my Boys Donating Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: w/ my boys
Posts: 5,056
| I have a hard time believing this behavior in your DH is anything new....I would wager it's been like this for a looooonngg time with him...you're probably having one of those "You better get out of my way or I'm going to kick your a** !!" days....We all have one on occasion.... If Al Bundy left the house to go to work don't ever expect to find Superman returning home...
__________________ B.J.mom to : Jake J.J. Jack & Joey, momma misses you..... The joy found in the companionship of a pet is a blessing not given to everyone. The two most powerful words when we’re in struggle: me too.. |
08-19-2007, 05:56 AM | #9 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Georgia
Posts: 2,563
| Oh no way is it anything new! lol I just handle it better most of the time. Then there are days (like yesterday) where I get fed up and don't think I can take it anymore. I am feeling much better today. Still wish he would help more, but realize he won't.
__________________ Aerrica, and Norman RIP my sweet Poopanut |
08-19-2007, 02:27 PM | #10 |
Lovin' Lucy & Rebel Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Georgia
Posts: 4,438
| I was going to try to post a logical response to this, but all I can think of is At Least He's There! I was widowed at 48 (I just turned 50 on Aug 12th) and I would trade cleaning up after him 24/7 FOREVER to have him back. I would love to say, "Mark, come on, we're late" just one more time. I'd love to pick up his dirty clothes just to smell him again.
__________________ Kim , Rebel ,and baby Dixie RIP my sweet Lucy |
08-19-2007, 02:46 PM | #11 | |
2 Pups=Double Trouble! Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Iowa
Posts: 6,581
| Quote:
Sometimes, when things are tough, when he really pisses me off, or just the little things drive me crazy, we'll say to each other, "yeah, well...I love you anyway!" And that's what's important!
__________________ Suzy Emma & Milli What's better than loving a yorkie? Loving two yorkies! Milli 's Remi! | |
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