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Old 02-13-2007, 09:39 PM   #1
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Default My younger sister is a thief!

As many of you know, my dear, precious Mom passed away on February 4th. My heart is so broken and I'm missing her so much.

My younger sister, Ricka, flew here and arrived that night after Mom had passed. She is separated from her husband, but that's another story. He drove up here and got here at 2 AM in the morn. So, that night they stayed here with us and then we thought it would be a good idea if they stayed at Mom's so the house wasn't empty and see that the furnace stays running in the frigid cold. We trusted her to stay at Mom's so no thieves would enter in...little did we know...we gave that thief Mom's key!
I thought she would take some things that were precious to her and we didn't care if she did, but she ransacked through the whole house and took everything she could get her greedy hands on. I was shocked to see boxes packed and stacked at Mom's and when I asked her what was in the boxes, she said, "It's things I gave Mom that I'm taking back. Actually, she took everything she had ever given Mom, plus things we had given Mom...plus things that had been in the family since we were kids...and on and on and on...too numerous to list. If she had only taken back what she had given Mom, there'd still be some things left in that house. Judy and I made the mistake of trusting her and I cannot believe someone who had just lost her Mom would think only of greed, rather than grieving for our dear Mom. Ricka got the truck loaded and left on Sunday...she must have figured she better get out of there quickly before we wised up to what she'd done. The night before she left, Judy had finally said something to her and Ricka called me screaming her fool head off. I finally hung up on her after listening to her rant and rave for over half an hour.

Today I got an email from her asking for yet more of Mom's things. I was flabergasted. Judy and I went to Mom's house today and my gosh...it's cleaned out of a good half of Mom's things. Judy and I lived there with Mom for over 2 weeks and we know how full each closet and cubboard was...and drawers. Ricka left no stone unturned. She is evil. She is the most selfcentered, greedy person I have ever known. She told me if I was the one living away from mom, I would want to take things to put around my house to remind me of mom. I told her I don't need material things to remind me of my loving mom...that mom is in my heart and mind all the time.

Unfortunately, there's probably nothing legally that we can do to this thief. If we'd have known, we could have taken pictures of everything...or better yet, she would not have been allowed in that house alone. I cannot believe she is my sister...she is selfish and greedy. My mom hated greed! Ricka has once again showed her true colors!
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Old 02-13-2007, 09:44 PM   #2
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Oh i am so sorry that happened i totally understand where you are coming from my sister would have done the same exact thing! i wish there was something you could do. Mabey lie to her and say the police are involved and that she left a will and if she doesn't bring everything back she will go to jail. I hope you can get what you need from her i know how sentimental some things can be and how painful when you don't have them,.
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Old 02-13-2007, 10:06 PM   #3
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Wow, so sorry!!! My mom didn't get anything from her mother's house. The older siblings went in and took everything. Amazing what "family" will do under already stressful situations.........but believe me you are not alone or an isolated case.

If your mom had a will made out, you can do something about it. If she had someone as executor of her will then legal action can be taken against your sister if she took things that had been willed to others.

Is it worth going through all that??? Well, I'm a frim believer in seeing that the loved who died gets what they had wanted at the expense of anybody. But sometimes, for others it is just better to leave things alone. You have a lot of tuff decisions and emotions to deal with......again, so sorry!
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Old 02-13-2007, 10:15 PM   #4
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Connie, I'm so sorry that you have to deal with something like this.. especially so soon after your mom's passing.

It amazes me how it often situations like this occur, after someone's passing. I swear some people lack some serious ethics and morals.. not to mention heart. What a nerve she has. I wouldn't blame you if you gave her a piece of your mind.
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Old 02-13-2007, 10:18 PM   #5
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Death seem to bring out either the best in a person or the worst. I've seen both. Try to look at it this way, this is a final gift from the departed... They leave us with the gift of seeing the true nature of people.

I'm so sorry this is your sister, and she is breaking your heart. But you are right, she can't take your memories. I know there must have been things that had special meaning to you and your mother, or items you wanted to share with other family members and your mom's friends.

I'm so sorry this is happening while you are still coping with such a huge loss.
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Old 02-14-2007, 05:21 AM   #6
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Oh Connie...I can't believe you had to go thru all this on top of losing your mom - I don't want to speak ill of her but that's SO coldhearted ....Even sadder is YOU were the one who was there for your mom 24/7 and that sister should have waited until YOU were ready to go thru things ....Something you can hang on to ....is YOU were the one your mom leaned on and she passed knowing how much you loved her.
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Old 02-14-2007, 05:55 AM   #7
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Connie - My heart is breaking for you right now Unfortunately, I have a sister who could be a twin to yours. I have already informed my older sister that when something happens to our mom, she better get here as quick as she can or I might inflict serious bodily harm on the other sister. I have to give my mom credit - she has already given me some things I wanted (even things I didn't ask for but she wanted me to have) and she has a will (my bil - older sister's hubby - is the executor) where she lists who gets what so there are no fights or stealing. My younger sister has stolen enough from my mom while she is still with us (don't want to get started on that!!) and ignores us, her family, unless she needs something.

Don't want to hijack your thread with my family issues but did want to say that I hold you in my thoughts and prayers. And, as someone else already mentioned, if your mom had a will, there are legal avenues you can pursue - but only you know if it's worth it. May God continue to watch over and comfort you during this time.
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Old 02-14-2007, 06:05 AM   #8
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Oh Connie I am so sorry that hapened to you. In Our Family when My Grandma died some Brothers and Sisters theived My Grandmas things too. My Mom got very few personal things of My grandmas as some other brothers didnt either. It really put a rift in our family for years. I dont understand why some people are so greedy and uncaring during those times but they are. It is hard enough dealing with the death of your loved one without dealing also with someone theiving. I am so sorry and hope things get better for you
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Old 02-14-2007, 06:15 AM   #9
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Connie, I am sorry on top of losing your Mom you are having to deal with this stuff also.
It is just greed! Did your Mom have a will?
I didn't want my Mom or Dad's hings touched for awhile . You arfe left to deal with al those emotions that are involved with disposing of your Mom's personal effects.For me that was very hard, like I was wiping away their lives.
I did that only when I was ready. Everyone is different I guess.
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Old 02-14-2007, 06:16 AM   #10
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Connie I am so sorry that this happened to you after just
going through the loss of your Mom.
Only you can deceide what to do about your sister.
I just wanted to wish you well.


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Old 02-14-2007, 06:47 AM   #11
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Connie, I am so terribly sorry! I, too, know what you are going through. I lost my precious Mother last July and had to endure some of the same things. My two brothers & younger sister had not even visited Mother very often the last few years and it broke her heart. I flew home every month or so and spent every minute of my time at home with her and I listened to her cry and ask "Was I not a good Mother?" or "Have I done something to cause my children & grandchildren to stay away?" It broke my heart and I made excuses for them for the longest time and finally just didn't know what to say. I always told her what a wonderful Mother she was [and she was!]. For the last year of her life, she would tell me how much she loved me and she would always tell me "You are my good child!" In the days following her death, every time I would feel disgust/pity for my siblings and feel like lashing out ... I would very clearly hear my Mother's voice saying "You are my good child!" and I would feel the most incredible peace! Like a robot I handled all her affairs [settling her estate, disposing of what property that they had not already taken from her every chance they had, etc.]. The Estate Attorney assured me after looking over Mother's will that I was "Sole Heir", but I gave them everything they were entitled to and feel that I handled everything the way Mother wanted it, carrying out her every wish!

Didn't mean to make this so long .... just want you to know that the important thing now is peace for yourself and for Judy. You two will have no guilt or regret for how you cared for your Mom and she knew that you loved her and I'm certain that she was very proud of you! That's the most important thing of all! We all love you and if there is anything at all that we can do, please don't hesitate to let us know.
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Old 02-14-2007, 06:47 AM   #12
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I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this on top of your grief. My office-mate is going through something similar with her sisters after the death of her parents (her mom's the most recent). She is the executor of the estate and her mom left more to her in her will than she did to her sisters because of the fact that she lived right next door and was very involved with her parents. Her sisters are now contesting the will and putting her through hell with their nasty remarks and actions. She's gotten a very good lawyer and hopefully everything will work out but her relationship with her sisters will never be the same. It's so sad to see a family come to that.
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Old 02-14-2007, 06:50 AM   #13
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Ohh man Connie, this is terrible, so sorry to hear you have to deal with this on top of just losing your precious mother. I can not believe your own sister would do such a thing, how sad. The only thing I can suggest is when or if you see a lawyer for the reading of a will, you may bring this issue up and see what he/she says.
Good luck sweetie.
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Old 02-14-2007, 07:31 PM   #14
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Connie, I know we've already talked about this... but she will get whats coming to her...someday, someway. That is so wrong of her to do that. How can someone who is to be greiving do this. Some people can be so cold hearts.

Thank God you don't take after your sister. You have a heart of gold just like your mothers. And Judy sounds like a wonderful person too. I hope a pray that this will all work out. My prayers are with you!

I also pray for that little Maddie. It made me so sad when you talked about her being so sad.
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Old 02-14-2007, 07:41 PM   #15
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Oh connie. I am so sorry to hear that. You know what she took only material things. She can't take the thing that matters most and that is the time you shared with mom and the memories that were made. She seems to be jealous, petty and a thief all rolled in one. It's amazing how someone can show their true colors when you least expect it. Be thankful that you see her for what she is.

When my MIL died three years ago (she lived with me and hubby) I had my bil over and we picked the most important things that we wanted to keep to pass on to her grandchildren (small amount of jewlery and some of her stuffed animals and pictures) and the rest we shared with her sister and her nieces. I had them come over and pick what they wanted to remember her by and the clothes we passed on to some of her friends that would be able to wear it. It's funny because a nephew that she had raised that since being married treated her like crap wanted to get grabby too. I nipped that in the bud. It just amazed me how someone that treated her shabby could come with his hand out wanting to know if she left money behind and how much of it he was entitled too. Never said hey do you guys need help paying for the funeral or anything.

You know what let her have those things she is still a poor person at the end of the road. She has alienated her family which is the one thing in this whole world that makes us fortunate, blessed and overall rich.
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