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02-01-2007, 08:05 AM | #1 |
Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: South Dakota
Posts: 340
| Men vs. Women I got this from a friend of mine. *WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the milk carton. *WOMEN'S REVENGE "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "S o, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally." *UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE) I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider. *MARRIAGE SEMINAR While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes." He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?" Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it? *WIFE VS. HUSBAND A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws." *WORDS A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?" *CREATION A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !" *THE SILENT TREATMENT A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake m e at 5:00 AM ." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. *MY FAVORITE: God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece |
Welcome Guest! | |
02-01-2007, 08:12 AM | #2 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member | LOLOL...I thought the one about the flour/flower was my favorite, til I read the wake-up call. I loved that one!!!!!! Thanks for the laugh!!!!
__________________ ~Ruby, Reno, Razz, & Jack~ |
02-01-2007, 08:46 AM | #3 |
YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Michigan
Posts: 681
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02-01-2007, 08:50 AM | #4 |
Love The Verminator! Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: ny
Posts: 4,282
| Those are hilarious, thanks
__________________ Roxy loves Alphy Remi loves Millie [COLOR="Purple"]Mom to RoxyJo & Remington , Fozzy Bear & Chloe |
02-01-2007, 08:54 AM | #5 |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 4,591
| Those were great, really cracked me up! The people in the next office must think I'm nuts because they know I'm in here alone.
__________________ Eva and her keikis: Hokule'a, Kalani & Pi'ilani |
02-01-2007, 08:56 AM | #6 |
My Little Princess Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: SUNNY,FLORIDA
Posts: 2,764
| thanks for the laugh
__________________ RACHEL & MISTY |
02-01-2007, 08:58 AM | #7 |
Gina, (Lexi's Mommy) Donating Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: LONG ISLAND,NY
Posts: 10,455
| that was great.... thanks
__________________ Gina & Lexi CLICK HERE for our Photo Album ... |
02-01-2007, 09:16 AM | #8 |
Mommy To 3 Poochies Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: New York
Posts: 8,287
| HAHAHAH!!! I love that last one!!!
__________________ Mommy Loves Codie, Tia & Baby Cali RIP My Precious Katie - I Love You |
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