|
Welcome to the YorkieTalk.com Forums Community - the community for Yorkshire Terriers. You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. You will be able to chat with over 35,000 YorkieTalk members, read over 2,000,000 posted discussions, and view more than 15,000 Yorkie photos in the YorkieTalk Photo Gallery after you register. We would love to have you as a member! Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today! If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please click here to contact us. |
|
| LinkBack | Thread Tools |
01-16-2007, 07:56 AM | #1 |
Mojo, LilyGrace & Me Donating Member Moderator Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: cuddling with my babies<3
Posts: 17,329
| Summary Of My Last Year On The Computer SUMMARY OF MY LAST YEAR ON THE COMPUTER I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program. I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish. I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day. Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer can buy gasoline without taking a man along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on th eir cans. I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. And thanks for l etting me know I can't boil a cup water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life. I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise. I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan. I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike. I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe. Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt. Thank you too for all the endless advice Andy Rooney has given us. I can live a better life now because he's told us how to fix everything And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 I dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg. Oh, and don't forget this one either! I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies! If you don't send this e-mail to at least 47,000 people in the next 47 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:47 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 47 camels will infest your back,causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician... Have a wonderful day....AND A scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain and sexual activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late... OH MY!!! Those were the best! -- A friend sent that this morning!!!
__________________ Hi I'm Jenn Mom to..... Mojo,LilyGrace & DD Kate RIP Mojo FOREVER in our hearts! |
Welcome Guest! | |
01-16-2007, 08:06 AM | #2 |
Gina, (Lexi's Mommy) Donating Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: LONG ISLAND,NY
Posts: 10,455
| very good,, made my day
__________________ Gina & Lexi CLICK HERE for our Photo Album ... |
01-16-2007, 08:21 AM | #3 |
YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Fort Hood, Texas
Posts: 2,107
| You are too funny!!!! guess where my hand was while I was reading?????
__________________ TINKERBELL, CHIQUITO, AND MOMMY MICKIE |
01-16-2007, 08:25 AM | #4 |
No Longer A Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: NEW YORK
Posts: 16,218
| LOL Funny thing is I also learned the same things this year! Carol & Buddy |
01-16-2007, 08:26 AM | #5 |
Mommy To 3 Poochies Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: New York
Posts: 8,287
| hahahaha I love it!!
__________________ Mommy Loves Codie, Tia & Baby Cali RIP My Precious Katie - I Love You |
01-16-2007, 09:25 AM | #6 |
Luv my Angel, too! Donating Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: USA
Posts: 9,333
| Hilarious!!
__________________ Sissy & Angel |
01-16-2007, 09:32 AM | #7 |
Yorkie Kisses are the Best! Donating Member | LOLOL !! I'm waiting on my check from Bill too and so are 50 of my closest friends and some NOT so close lol !!!! hahahha those were so funny !! |
01-16-2007, 09:55 AM | #8 |
Donating YT 7000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Alabama, etc.
Posts: 9,031
| Thanks .... I needed that!! I believe I have received every single one of those too! I just hate being on someone's blanket emails!!
__________________ Toto's Mom - http://www.dogster.com/?206581 Yorkie Rescue Colorado - http://www.yorkierescuecolorado.com/ "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits." -- Albert Einstein |
01-16-2007, 10:57 AM | #9 |
Owned by 3 furballs Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Texas
Posts: 6,581
| LOL! JENN218, where on earth do you get these?!?!
__________________ Bobbi Yorkietalk http://www.dogster.com/dogs/395435 And now........little Aja too! http://www.picturetrail.com/sfx/album/view/23776545 |
Bookmarks |
|
|
| |
|
|
SHOP NOW: Amazon :: eBay :: Buy.com :: Newegg :: PetStore :: Petco :: PetSmart