|
Welcome to the YorkieTalk.com Forums Community - the community for Yorkshire Terriers. You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. You will be able to chat with over 35,000 YorkieTalk members, read over 2,000,000 posted discussions, and view more than 15,000 Yorkie photos in the YorkieTalk Photo Gallery after you register. We would love to have you as a member! Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today! If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please click here to contact us. |
|
| LinkBack | Thread Tools |
12-18-2006, 07:27 PM | #1 |
Mojo, LilyGrace & Me Donating Member Moderator Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: cuddling with my babies<3
Posts: 17,329
| AARP HUMOR ((from my grandmother)) A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel smelling slightly of a good after shave, presenting a well looked-after image, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge. Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady, (mid-eighties). The gentleman walks over, sits alongside of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear gain." The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!" __________________________________________ Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?" Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby." "Really!? Like a newborn baby!?" "Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly. The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?" The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one that's red and has thorns." "Do you mean a rose?" "Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night? _________________________________________________ Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. "I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown." _________________________________________________ A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember. Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. "Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?" he asks. "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" "Sure." "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she asks. "No, I can remember it." "Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?" He says, "I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." "I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?" she asks. Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!" Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment, then asks, "Where's my toast?" ___________________________________ A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: "So I hear you're getting married?" "Yep!" "Do I know her?" "Nope!" "This woman, is she good looking?" "Not really." "Is she a good cook?" "Naw, she can't cook too well." "Does she have lots of money?" "Nope! Poor as a church mouse." "Well, then, is she good in bed?" "I don't know." "Why in the world do you want to marry her then?" "Because she still drives at night!" __________________________________ Three old guys are out walking. First one says, "Windy, isn't it?" Second one says, "No, it's Thursday!" Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer." ____________________________________________ A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but, it's state of the art. It's perfect." "Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?" "Why it's twelve thirty. Why do you ask?" ___________________________________ Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor called Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?" Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'" The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'"
__________________ Hi I'm Jenn Mom to..... Mojo,LilyGrace & DD Kate RIP Mojo FOREVER in our hearts! |
Welcome Guest! | |
12-18-2006, 07:33 PM | #2 |
BANNED FOR SCAMMING MEMBERS! Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Kansas
Posts: 2,811
| LOLOLOLOL...How funny!! |
12-18-2006, 07:44 PM | #3 | |
My furkids Donating Member | Quote:
Loved them!! I copied and pasted...sent them out to my non-YT friends!! thanks...I needed a good laugh!
__________________ | |
12-18-2006, 07:47 PM | #4 |
Donating YT 10K Club Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Alabama
Posts: 17,674
| Thanks for the laugh! I'm gonna copy that one and do some emailing |
12-19-2006, 05:24 AM | #5 |
Yorkie Kisses are the Best! Donating Member | Those are great ! Here;s one for you |
12-19-2006, 06:25 AM | #6 |
YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Michigan
Posts: 681
| Funny!!! |
12-19-2006, 06:33 AM | #7 | |
Mojo, LilyGrace & Me Donating Member Moderator Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: cuddling with my babies<3
Posts: 17,329
| Quote:
Here are two more......enjoy! !cid_00b201c54492222380f64fea9@y8l5w7.jpg !cid_00b101c54492222380f64fea9@y8l5w7.jpg
__________________ Hi I'm Jenn Mom to..... Mojo,LilyGrace & DD Kate RIP Mojo FOREVER in our hearts! | |
Bookmarks |
|
|
| |
|
|
SHOP NOW: Amazon :: eBay :: Buy.com :: Newegg :: PetStore :: Petco :: PetSmart