YorkieTalk.com Forums - Yorkshire Terrier Community


Welcome to the YorkieTalk.com Forums Community - the community for Yorkshire Terriers.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. You will be able to chat with over 35,000 YorkieTalk members, read over 2,000,000 posted discussions, and view more than 15,000 Yorkie photos in the YorkieTalk Photo Gallery after you register. We would love to have you as a member!

Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please click here to contact us.

Go Back   YorkieTalk.com Forums - Yorkshire Terrier Community > All Else > Off Topic Discussions
Register Blogs FAQ Calendar JavaChat Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 09-15-2006, 06:48 PM   #1
YT 500 Club Member
 
Cheska's Bella's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 681
Default Men... GRRRRRRR!!!

Gosh I'm so ticked off and it's tooooo late to call anyone so I guess I'll gripe her.

So, Adam and I have been living together for almost 3 yrs now. We are not engaged but were happily a couple.

Today, I opened his bank statement (I thought it was from our joint acct) and I saw that he's been going to a bar and not telling me. (I'm sure to some of you this is sending pretty dumb so far but hear me out.) Anyways, he knows (and has KNOWN) that I have an issue w/either of us going to bars/club w/out the other and it's been okay. If he does need/want to go (work function) that's fine but I like to be in the know.

Well, I guess a few times in the past couple months he's been going w/guys AND girls from work (after work). The couple times I noticed he got home later (I usually get home after him) I questioned it, and he said he had a late meeting.

Do I think he's cheating? NO. But he DID lie about going and this PISSES me offf!!! He says I'm overreacting and that everyone "white" lies but to me, this is more then a white lie. He's bringing up (IMO) white lies that I've told like, "Yeah I took Bella" (after she's peed on the floor). I don't think these are the same.

I'm confused, mad, angry and hurt. Am I overreacting?!?!?!

Cheska's Bella is offline   Reply With Quote
Welcome Guest!
Not Registered?

Join today and remove this ad!

Old 09-15-2006, 06:50 PM   #2
YT 500 Club Member
 
Cheska's Bella's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 681
Default

That was full of grammatical errors. Sorry. I'm just really ticked off right now.
Cheska's Bella is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2006, 07:17 PM   #3
BANNED FOR NOT MAILING PRODUCTS PURCHASED
 
yougetthesmiles's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Indiana
Posts: 9,295
Blog Entries: 3
Default

I dont think your over reacting at all, I would be very pissed off also!
yougetthesmiles is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2006, 07:21 PM   #4
YT 3000 Club Member
 
romeos mommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Pennsauken , NJ
Posts: 4,068
Default

honesty is important
romeos mommy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2006, 07:24 PM   #5
And Lucy Too!
Donating Member
 
Lucky's Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 1,481
Default

I would be very angry & upset too. That would make me question more things about him & the trust wouldn't be 100% anymore. It would make me wonder why he couldn't just tell me he was going. I hope everything works out for you!
__________________
Jessica--mom to my furbabies-- Jasper & my angel in heaven Lucky-RIP
Lucky's Mom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2006, 07:26 PM   #6
I love TBCG!
Donating Member
 
GeorgiesMomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: MD
Posts: 7,227
Default

I think first off why is it a problem for him to go to the bar by himself with friends? My fiance' goes out on a rare occassion with friends and it's no big deal. Having said that I would have a HUGE problem with him lying about it. I am not really sure what to say but I will say that if he is lying that isn't good because A.) He feels like he can't tell you or B.) he has something to hide or C.) He is a man and doesn't think that much and to him it's no big deal. I would sit down and talk about the situation and compromise, but let him know that him lying doesn't make you happy. Sorry you are going through this I am sure you two can work it out. Please don't take my post as being harsh.
__________________
Morgan Mommy toGeorgie boy & Isaiah RIP sweet Coco 10/12/99-8/1/12

Read About Georgie's Experience with Atlantoaxial Instability (AAI) Here!

Last edited by GeorgiesMomma; 09-15-2006 at 07:29 PM.
GeorgiesMomma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2006, 07:38 PM   #7
YT 500 Club Member
 
JoyRenee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: York, Pa
Posts: 754
Smile

I honestly feel that... what is good for him to do, is good for you to do.
If you "both" have an "agreement" that you do NOT go to the club/bar without each other, Then that should be honored. And the dishonesty part, I would be terribly Angry over it!

Some couples do not mind the other going out w/ them... But every couple is different. Myself, My Husband and I both will not go to places as such with out the other! We are like Best friends and do not feel the desire to do otherwise. But others feel the need to go out w/ Just their friends... and as long as it is upfront and honest and agreed... That is Great too... if this is the case.. it does NOT mean you are not "Best Friends".. It just proves that we are all different and we all have our own thoughts, feelings and perspectives on all things including relationships.
__________________
JoyRenee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2006, 07:43 PM   #8
BANNED FOR NOT MAILING PRODUCTS PURCHASED
 
yougetthesmiles's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Indiana
Posts: 9,295
Blog Entries: 3
Default

why do men have to hide things from us? I was told they hide little "white lies" because we tend to over react! why do we over react? I guess it's the fact that IMO I dont feel my husband should be at a bar, why cant they go somewhere else to hang out with there "friends"? Why do they HAVE to go to a bar? Why cant they go hang out at a coffee shop. or why cant the friend come to his house and drink beer there? I just dont get the hole bar thing. Yes, I guess if your single and looking to hook up, then maybe a bar is the place, but it's not a good idea for a married man to go to a bar IMO
yougetthesmiles is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2006, 07:43 PM   #9
Proudly owned by Nikko
Donating Member
 
Nikko's_human's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Bronx, New York
Posts: 768
Default

I absolutely agree with GeorgiesMomma. If it was no big deal, why couldn't he just call you up and tell you he was going to a bar with a few co-workers? The fact that he felt he needed to lie to you about it sends off the red flags. I am NOT saying he was necessarily doing anything wrong, that is for YOU, and only YOU to decide. I am just troubled by the fact that he thinks it is no big deal to lie to you. You have every right to be upset.
__________________
NIKKO and his mommy NECEE
Nikko's_human is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2006, 07:46 PM   #10
YT 500 Club Member
 
JoyRenee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: York, Pa
Posts: 754
Thumbs up

Quote:
Originally Posted by yougetthesmiles
why do men have to hide things from us? I was told they hide little "white lies" because we tend to over react! why do we over react? I guess it's the fact that IMO I dont feel my husband should be at a bar, why cant they go somewhere else to hang out with there "friends"? Why do they HAVE to go to a bar? Why cant they go hang out at a coffee shop. or why cant the friend come to his house and drink beer there? I just dont get the hole bar thing. Yes, I guess if your single and looking to hook up, then maybe a bar is the place, but it's not a good idea for a married man to go to a bar IMO
__________________
JoyRenee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2006, 07:48 PM   #11
No Longer a Member
 
DENISE517's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: INDIANA
Posts: 4,449
Default

I would be mad too. First of all he felt like he had to lie to you??(why) Second of all... I truely feel that a bar is nothing but a pick up place. Bars are for single men and women or ok if couple goes together. I would ask him how he felt if the tables were turned. He may not be doing anything wrong, but I feel if you go to these places enough alone and there are all kinds of other people there looking for someone,,,, eventually things go bad and people cant control themselves. Just my thought. Hope you get it all worked out. Stand strong and dont give in. LOL
DENISE517 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2006, 07:49 PM   #12
No Longer a Member
 
sweetr72's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 6,111
Default

Lies between a couple are NEVER a good thing...and a 'white' lie is a lie..just sugar coated..I hate that term..

Dawn
sweetr72 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2006, 07:54 PM   #13
Donating YT 500 Club Member
 
cchu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Queens, NY
Posts: 1,485
Default

I think it healthy that he does his thing and you do yours but I do think that you should tell each other what you will be doing. Not necc in every detail but to some extent because as a couple, you both have the right to know.

Let him know that you are upset about the situation but add in that you are happy that he goes out with his friends but that he should tell you about it instead of lying.
__________________
Christine and Zoe
www.dogster.com/?269135
Yes guys...Zoe is a BOY!! He finally forgave me.
cchu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2006, 08:54 PM   #14
The grace of god
 
GracieLou's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA
Posts: 1,945
Default

I think Honesty is important in a relationship
__________________
Gracie Lou
GracieLou is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2006, 10:10 PM   #15
YT 1000 Club Member
 
mylittletigger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 1,216
Default

I agree I would be so pissed. a lie is a lie whether it be "white" or not. There would be hell to pay in my boyfriends and I's relationship if I found out he lied to me. He knows this and we've been together for nearly two years now (and living together pretty much the entire time.) With us, He doesn't want to go anywhere without me... and I don't mind it. My time is at work and the time I have to myself before he gets home from work.

JMO.... But Not only does his lieing about his whereabouts show a lack of honesty, his going out without letting you know is disrespectful. Now keep this in mind.... He may feel he has to answer to you... this should not be the case, you should simply tell him that "No, you would just like to know where he's going and that's it."
__________________
Tigger's dogster http://www.dogster.com/?257308
Bear's dogster: www.dogster.com/?368626. Krystal, John, Tigger and Baby Bear.
mylittletigger is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks



Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




Google
 

SHOP NOW: Amazon :: eBay :: Buy.com :: Newegg :: PetStore :: Petco :: PetSmart


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 09:48 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright ©2003 - 2018 YorkieTalk.com
Privacy Policy - Terms of Use

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360 361 362 363 364 365 366 367 368 369 370 371 372 373 374 375 376 377 378 379 380 381 382 383 384 385 386 387 388 389 390 391 392 393 394 395 396 397 398 399 400 401 402 403 404 405 406 407 408 409 410 411 412 413 414 415 416 417 418 419 420 421 422 423 424 425 426 427 428 429 430 431 432 433 434 435 436 437 438 439 440 441 442 443 444 445 446 447 448 449 450 451 452 453 454 455 456 457 458 459 460 461 462 463 464 465 466 467 468 469 470 471 472 473 474 475 476 477 478 479 480 481 482 483 484 485 486 487 488 489 490 491 492 493 494 495 496 497 498 499 500 501 502 503 504 505 506 507 508 509 510 511 512 513 514 515 516 517 518 519 520 521 522 523 524 525 526 527 528 529 530 531 532 533 534 535 536 537 538 539 540 541 542 543 544 545 546 547 548 549 550 551 552 553 554 555 556 557 558 559 560 561 562 563 564 565 566 567 568 569 570 571 572 573 574 575 576 577 578 579 580 581 582 583 584 585 586 587 588 589 590 591 592 593 594 595 596 597 598 599 600 601 602 603 604 605 606 607 608 609 610 611 612 613 614 615 616 617 618 619 620 621 622 623 624 625 626 627 628 629 630 631 632 633 634 635 636 637 638 639 640 641 642 643 644 645 646 647 648 649 650 651 652 653 654 655 656 657 658 659 660 661 662 663 664 665 666 667 668 669 670 671 672 673 674 675 676 677 678 679 680 681 682 683 684 685 686 687 688 689 690 691 692 693 694 695 696 697 698 699 700 701 702 703 704 705 706 707 708 709 710 711 712 713 714 715 716 717 718 719 720 721 722 723 724 725 726 727 728 729 730 731 732 733 734 735 736 737 738 739 740 741 742 743 744 745 746 747 748 749 750 751 752 753 754 755 756 757 758 759 760 761 762 763 764 765 766 767 768 769 770 771 772 773 774 775 776 777 778 779 780 781 782 783 784 785 786 787 788 789 790 791 792 793 794 795 796 797 798 799 800 801 802 803 804 805 806 807 808 809 810 811 812 813 814 815 816 817 818 819 820 821 822 823 824 825 826 827 828 829 830 831 832 833 834 835 836 837 838 839 840 841 842 843 844 845 846 847 848 849 850 851 852 853 854 855 856 857 858 859 860 861 862 863 864 865 866 867 868 869 870 871 872 873 874 875 876 877 878 879 880 881 882 883 884 885 886 887 888 889 890 891 892 893 894 895 896 897 898 899 900 901 902 903 904 905 906 907 908 909 910 911 912 913 914 915 916 917 918 919 920 921 922 923 924 925 926 927 928 929 930 931 932 933 934 935 936 937 938 939 940 941 942 943 944 945 946 947 948 949 950 951 952 953 954 955 956 957 958 959 960 961 962 963 964 965 966 967 968 969 970 971 972 973 974 975 976 977 978 979 980 981 982 983 984 985 986 987 988 989 990 991 992 993 994 995 996 997 998 999 1000 1001 1002 1003 1004 1005 1006 1007 1008 1009 1010 1011 1012 1013 1014 1015 1016 1017 1018 1019 1020 1021 1022 1023 1024 1025 1026 1027 1028 1029 1030 1031 1032 1033 1034 1035 1036 1037 1038 1039 1040 1041 1042 1043 1044 1045 1046 1047 1048 1049 1050 1051 1052 1053 1054 1055 1056 1057 1058 1059 1060 1061 1062 1063 1064 1065 1066 1067 1068 1069 1070 1071 1072 1073 1074 1075 1076 1077 1078 1079 1080 1081 1082 1083 1084 1085 1086 1087 1088 1089 1090 1091 1092 1093 1094 1095 1096 1097 1098 1099 1100 1101 1102 1103 1104 1105 1106 1107 1108 1109 1110 1111 1112 1113 1114 1115 1116 1117 1118 1119 1120 1121 1122 1123 1124 1125 1126 1127 1128 1129 1130 1131 1132 1133 1134 1135 1136 1137 1138 1139 1140 1141 1142 1143 1144 1145 1146 1147 1148 1149 1150 1151 1152 1153 1154 1155 1156 1157 1158 1159 1160 1161 1162 1163 1164 1165 1166 1167