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08-09-2006, 07:36 AM | #1 |
Donating YT 8000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Spokane, WA
Posts: 9,339
| Ponderables Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? If money doesn't grow in trees then why do banks have branches? Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts?" Where's that extra penny going to? Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you? YES... Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America? Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call? Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!" Or watch a white thing come out a chicken behind and think, "that ought to taste good." Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for you license, are you going to be smiling? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? If the professor on Gilligan's island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! What do you call male ballerinas? Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream? If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window? |
Welcome Guest! | |
08-09-2006, 08:22 AM | #2 |
I heart Hootie & Hobbs Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: USA
Posts: 7,149
| Oo Oo! I got one! (or two ) Why do feet smell but noses run?? Why do you drive on a parkway but park on a driveway?? |
08-09-2006, 08:22 AM | #3 |
Gina, (Lexi's Mommy) Donating Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: LONG ISLAND,NY
Posts: 10,455
| very good,, i liked them all,,, all true too
__________________ Gina & Lexi CLICK HERE for our Photo Album ... |
08-09-2006, 08:25 AM | #4 |
Luv My Butterflies Donating Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: The Big Easy
Posts: 2,083
| Lol! |
08-09-2006, 08:39 AM | #5 |
Peeka Boo I See You! Donating Member | This is a great post i was laughing my butt off and then the twinkle and the alphabet song i seriously was singing them to see so funny!!
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08-09-2006, 09:45 AM | #6 |
I heart Sugar Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Florida
Posts: 7,373
| Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!" Or watch a white thing come out a chicken behind and think, "that ought to taste good." OMG I am laughing my butt off. They're all funny but those had me laughing hard enough to make the dogs wonder if I was losing it. Thanks!
__________________ "If you have men who will exclude any of God’s creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men." — St. Francis of Assisi, 1181-1226 |
08-09-2006, 10:55 AM | #7 |
Donating YT 10K Club Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Alabama
Posts: 11,432
| I have ALWAYS liked the one about the astroids. |
08-09-2006, 07:45 PM | #8 |
Donating Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: McLean , VA
Posts: 458
| You just made my day!
__________________ NIKITA & LILO If my little girl is a PRINCESS, does it make me a QUEEN? |
08-10-2006, 06:24 AM | #9 |
I heart Hootie & Hobbs Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: USA
Posts: 7,149
| I have another one........ Why is it called Menopause? Shouldn't it be called Menostop?! |
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