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07-11-2006, 02:27 AM | #1 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: May 2006 Location: San Antonio Tx
Posts: 169
| Engagement broken :( I Know that this is totally off yorkie talk, but im need of some deperate advise.....here it goes My fiance has just broken up with me. He said hes tired of arguing...we always argued for stupid stuff. So he said that this is not going to work. I really need all the imput i can get from you guys.. I dont know what to do, we live together. So I drove 4 hours last nite to come to a friends house. I can stay here for a while and try and heal a bit. Any suggestions....? I dont know were to start my life again...No job, and no apt. Please give me some good advise....in desprate need. Thank you
__________________ MAYRA |
Welcome Guest! | |
07-11-2006, 03:24 AM | #2 |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Indiana
Posts: 4,685
| Sorry to hear about the breakup. Do you know why you guys argue all the time. Who starts it mostly, in your post it sounds like he doesn't like to argue so is it you? If you're wanting to get back together, why not suggest premarital counceling? If he doesn't want to go, you should go yourself. I am a firm believer that even though a woman can love with all her heart and soul...she should never be dependant on anyone else. Get yourself a job and start supporting yourself. That way if in this relationship or another, whether it's he who breaks it off or you, you have the means to take care of yourself without depending on someone else. Good luck to to you.
__________________ Janet |
07-11-2006, 03:31 AM | #3 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: May 2006 Location: San Antonio Tx
Posts: 169
| i agree with you in getting a job asap. He hates to argue, he is a non confrontational man. He does not want to do premarital counseling because he things that its just not going to work out. Im just so sad....
__________________ MAYRA |
07-11-2006, 03:43 AM | #4 |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Indiana
Posts: 4,685
| I'm sorry that it sounds like it will not work out with you and you fiance. I still think counceling is a great idea, you can go alone, if you're totally honest with the counselor, it can be a big help in future relationships. It sounds like he doesn't want it to work, so I would put my chin up, be proud of yourself and move on. There are plenty of things to do to help you, if you can't find a job right away, then volunteer somewhere. There is nothing like bringing a smile to someone else to make us feel better. Good luck!!
__________________ Janet |
07-11-2006, 03:45 AM | #5 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: May 2006 Location: San Antonio Tx
Posts: 169
| Thank you i trully appreciate your advise...i am in a real time of need
__________________ MAYRA |
07-11-2006, 03:46 AM | #6 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member | Don't allow yourself to get overwhelmed with all of this at once and let it get you too down. I know it is easy to say but hard to do. I don't know how old you are, but one of the things I have learned in my forty plus years is things always LOOK worse than they are. Can you stay at your friends for a few days, just to give yourself time to replan your life? As much as it hurts your BF is probably doing you a favor, it doesn't seem like it now maybe, eventually you will see; what is so devastating today, will seem small later in life. Don't know what the source of your arguments are, but I do know the arguing will not go away on it's own. My teenage son and his GF are always fighting/arguing, and I tell him this is not the way love is supposed to be. Look at this as an opportunity. Try to turn a very sad thing into something that is good for you. Use this time to reevaluate YOUR life and the direction you want it to take. Don't make decisions about what you are going to do too quickly, take time to think things through. Good Luck
__________________ ~Ruby, Reno, Razz, & Jack~ |
07-11-2006, 03:49 AM | #7 |
Razorback Yorkie Lover Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Bentonville, AR
Posts: 2,056
| I'm so sorry you find yourself in this situation. Break-ups suck. My take on it (and I by no means consider myself an expert) is that your fiance has been thinking about this for a while and agonizing over when to tell you. If it came out of the blue and not during a big fight, that means he has been contemplating this for some time and it wasn't an over night decision. Once most people have given something a tremendous amount of thought and made a decision, it's usually done. That said, my best advice to you is to give him total space. Don't be psycho girl and call him every 5 minutes begging him to take you back. You will only look back later and regret that. Let him miss you. If he calls wanting to talk, good...do it like a rational person. Admit your own faults, but don't take on on the problems as your fault just because you are desparate to work things out. It's a two way street. If it doesn't work out, that's how it's supposed to be. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps and make yourself a stronger person because of it. These things are real learning experiences and really help you get to know yourself and understand behaviors you need to work on to get along in the world, as hard as it is to take right now. Many times on hindsight you look back and say, "whew, that was a close one...if I had married him, I would have never met the most wonderful man in the world, my soulmate". Although I believe in fate, and that things happen for a reason, I also believe that YOU make your own choices. Choose the right path, don't make stupid decisions or let your emotions make them for you. Things will work out. I only wish the best for you!
__________________ Tiffany Pippa, Scout, and Ranger's Mom http://www.dogster.com/?198523 http://www.dogster.com/?198525 |
07-11-2006, 04:27 AM | #8 | |
Donating YT 500 Club Member | Quote:
__________________ ~Ruby, Reno, Razz, & Jack~ | |
07-11-2006, 04:36 AM | #9 |
Yorkie Kisses are the Best! Donating Member | I'm sorry you guys are having trouble....Only because I'm older I'll offer any advise IF you guys are arguing this much BEFORE you get married - then it's bound to escalate more if you actually make it legal - I hope things work out for you ....but to tell you the truth - this may be a blessing in disguise. I know you'll get LOTS of helpful replies here - but I just wanted to add my 2 cents and tell you ...Keep your chin up - sometimes a big CHANGE in our life is the scariest thing to face - but in the long run ...can be the best thing for us - we just don't know it when we go thru it ... |
07-11-2006, 04:45 AM | #10 | |
Luv my Angel, too! Donating Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: USA
Posts: 9,333
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__________________ Sissy & Angel | |
07-11-2006, 04:47 AM | #11 |
Proud of my Sully! Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: beautiful CHARLESTON, S.C.
Posts: 5,454
| When my husband and I got engaged, we argued more than ever. I think it's something about the stress of being not married but more than dating that really gets to you and scares you about your future. We even broke our engagement off once for 2 months! ....because the arguing got so bad......it was scary, you know, arguing so much before marriage. Now, I can't say my marriage (2.5 years) has been the smoothest road but we did it and don't regret it.
__________________ - - - - - - - - - - - - I love my Sully (the Wonderdog!) |
07-11-2006, 05:27 AM | #12 |
I Love My Yorkies Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
Posts: 37,147
| I am so sorry
__________________ Chachi's & Jewels Mom Jewels http://www.dogster.com/?132431Chachi http://www.dogster.com/?132427 |
07-11-2006, 05:32 AM | #13 |
Gina, (Lexi's Mommy) Donating Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: LONG ISLAND,NY
Posts: 10,455
| i say, move on with your life, you now need to take care of yourself. remember your number one..ive been there,done that,, its all you now sweetie... keep your head up, chin up and take care of you first.. fighting it just not worth it cause it never gets better... your worth more.. we are here for you always..
__________________ Gina & Lexi CLICK HERE for our Photo Album ... |
07-11-2006, 05:34 AM | #14 | |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: May 2006 Location: San Antonio Tx
Posts: 169
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__________________ MAYRA | |
07-11-2006, 05:34 AM | #15 | |
Always In My Heart Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: The Lone Star State
Posts: 3,393
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