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Old 05-05-2006, 07:52 AM   #1
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Default Help me figure this out! (very sad)

Ok, I've calmed down and am ready to share my story with you all.

As some of you know, I lost my aunt this Oct. And it's been so hard for me. I miss her so much and don't understand why God would take her away like he did. I mean to just drop and pass away before even hitting the floor is a little hard to take. Although it sounds like a perfect way to go. No pain! That's the only thing I am grateful for. That she did not suffer in anyway.

Here I do with the crying again, but I need to know what you all make of this!

She worked not even 5 minutes away from here for I would say the past 9 years or so. Before Cherish came to stay with us I used to go meet her on her lunch break. What ever we did rather it be going to get pedicures, having a picnic or just talking there in the lunch room I really did miss that after Cherish came.

After her passing I am really weird about driving passed her work. I have passed by and found myself looking in the parking lot looking for her truck. And each time I would end up in tears. So I avoid going by there now. I will go around if I have to go out that way.

Well yesterday I was out paying bills. I make money orders for my credit card bills. Don't ask me why I don't just send a check, but I don't like to mess with my credit and figure sending a money order is just like sending cash. So anyway the place where I usually go, their computers were down so I had to go to the one down the street. Right next door to SCE (where she worked) I wasn't in that state of mind where it bothered me. I really didn't even give it much thought on where I was. So I got my money orders and was filling them out in the van so that I could send them right off in the mail right there and then. I glanced at my rear view mirror and there she was plain as day! She was walking on the sidewalk. My heart was beating so hard and fast that I could hear it in my head. I looked up again and she was walking towards the van smiling. I had what I feel was a panic attack. I found it hard to breath and I just started crying uncontrollable. I then look over my shoulder and she was gone.

I don't know what to make of this. I don't believe in this kind of stuff, but yet I know what I saw! I haven't told anyone but my husband and my oldest daughter over heard me telling him. I was a mess for most of yesterday. Tim took us out to eat to get my mind off of it but I could not stop thinking about it. I had a hard time sleeping trying to figure what, why and how this happened. I'm not scared or anything like that. It just brought back the feeling of anger, wondering and missing all over again.

Help me with your views and thought, I just can't see how I could be just imagination. It was something so real. Thanks for listening!
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Old 05-05-2006, 08:05 AM   #2
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I know that you say you don't believe in this kind of stuff, so you must be very confused. Allow me to say, I very much believe in it. My mother told me that she "never believed in that stuff. when you are dead, you are dead". Well, my 11 year old brother died and she was inconsolable. She could not get out of bed to take care of her other 2 kids. A few weeks after the funeral, she was in bed and she heard Freddie laughing. She looked up and saw him. He didn't talk to her, but she knew immediatly that he had been there. It was his way of saying "I'm ok where I'm at. You need to get on with your life" Although she still missed him, she gained great comfort in this.
When my son was 4 and Megan was 2 I had a stillborn baby. Megan was too young to understand, but Kevin was devestated. He would cry and say he wanted his baby sister back. I could not seem to help him. One morning he came out of his room and said "How come Erin didn't stay over?" I asked him what he meant and he said "Erin came to play with me last night. And she told me it was ok that she was in heaven and I shouldn't be sad" After that day he never worried about her again.
I've had many other examples of things like this: my father, my mother, my aunt. I do believe that they are with us in spirit and she was sending you a message. She doesn't want you to go on hurting like this and she wants you to know that she is happy where she is.
Sorry this is so long, I am such a believer in this happening, I can't stop talking once I get going on it! You have my prayers that you will find comfort in what you saw and be able to remember your aunt with happiness. Teri
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Old 05-05-2006, 08:15 AM   #3
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I know how you feel. It's got to be one of the hardest things in life when we loose a family member. My parents are gone, and many other family members as well. I lost an Uncle due to cancer, it was so hard. My Aunt who was so super healthy, passed away a week later. Yes she was healthy, the doctors said she died from a broken heart. It was very hard on the family, I think we were all in shock. My cousin took it very hard, I knew how she was feeling, I feel the same pain everyday. Well she saw my Aunt in her room, just looking at her smiling, she told me to please understand that she was really there. Well I had too, I could see it in her eyes, so I did think she was there. She wanted to talk, so we went off to Grandmothers house. I was so surprised, Grandmother knew, she knew before we even said anything. She told us that the reason why she was standing there smiling was because she felt she needed to see that she was ok and at peace. After our talk with Grandmother, she felt a lot better, we will never know for sure, but Grandmas always know whats best.
Your Aunt will forever live in your heart, always remember at night when you look up at the stars, you can talk to her, she'll hear you. I talk to my parents all the time, even if the stars aren't out yet.
Your Aunt was walking your way with a smile, I bet she's letting you know she's OK and at peace. God Bless
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Old 05-05-2006, 08:16 AM   #4
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Ahhh, Monica...I believe you had a visit. It's her way of letting you know that she is fine and happy....that you should be the same and mostly that she is still with you. Consider what you "saw" a gift because she hasn't visited everyone...just whom she considered special. I hope it made you feel a little better because I'm sure that was the intent. Don't be surprised that sometime later you find yourself wishing she'd visit again.

PS Just so you know...I have been visited by my mother.
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Old 05-05-2006, 08:17 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bchgirl
Ahhh, Monica...I believe you had a visit. It's her way of letting you know that she is fine and happy....that you should be the same and mostly that she is still with you. Consider what you "saw" a gift because she hasn't visited everyone...just whom she considered special. I hope it made you feel a little better because I'm sure that was the intent. Don't be surprised that sometime later you find yourself wishing she'd visit again.
WELL said and I agree - I believe too and it sure sounds like she was just letting you know she is still with you.
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Old 05-05-2006, 08:21 AM   #6
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I got chillbumps reading your post! I agree with everyone that her intent was not to make you sad or miss her more, but to let you know that she was OK and she wants you to be OK too!
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Old 05-05-2006, 08:30 AM   #7
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wow.. .this brought tears to my eyes. Since she worked there for 9 years she must have really loved her job. She must have been showing you that she is just fine and still enjoying what she loves to do. I think her smiling at you lets you know that she loves you very much and not to forget her but to keep going on.
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Old 05-05-2006, 08:42 AM   #8
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Thank you all for your kind words. I can't help but be selfish. Deep down I know she's in a better place. But my heart wont let go of the anger and wondering of why this had to happen to her. There were no signs or warnings what so ever. She had gone for a stress test a month before and everything came back fine. I have had deaths in the family. But none as hard as this. I took it very hard when my nana passed but not like this. She was sick and although I wanted her to stay with me forever, I knew she was getting old and very sick. Same thing with my papa.

Tari your story was very touching! Thanks for sharing.
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Old 05-05-2006, 09:59 AM   #9
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Whether you believe or not, I think it was your aunt letting you know that she is okay and that she is happy. I think she came to see you to let you know.

Things happen for reasons none of us are meant to understand. Take it as a sign that she's in a happier place.

God bless!
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Old 05-05-2006, 11:01 AM   #10
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I believe she wants you to know she is happy now and you can go on with your life and no that she is happy!
My grandfather was very ill after his stroke, we were heading to visit family on thanksgiving and we had a 6 hour drive, well I fell asleep in the back and I drempt that he came to me and I told him it was ok for him to go, we will all be ok and we all knew he loved us, well when we got to are familes for thanksgiving my dad called me and told me he had passed away durning the night, the same time I was dreaming. I about freaked out on the phone with my dad, I told him what I drempt and he said it was a sign for me, telling me my granddad loved me very much, to this day I have never seen him, but I live close to where he is burried and I go visit him a lot.
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