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04-27-2006, 05:48 PM | #1 |
BANNED FOR NOT MAILING PRODUCTS PURCHASED | A sad Situation I have a serious question to ask you all! I have a niece and a nephew on my husbands side, the kids are 9 and 4 a boy and a girl. The kids mom has been in and out of there lives for several years, she has pulled more stunts then you can imagine, she has even went as far as trying to commit suicide in front of the kids, she lives in OK City and 2 years ago called my husband and I to come pick up the kids because she didnt want them anymore, so we took them for that summer and then she decided she wanted them back, so we thought she was ready and we gave them back, now she has pulled some stunts again and she has given the kids to my husbands parents, they have had the kids for almost a year now, but the problem goes way deeper, his parents are not capable of taking care of the kids, they love them and all but thats not the problem, they live in a filthy house and the grandma is ALWAYS sick, I mean in the 5 years I have been with my husband this woman has NEVER felt good, she always has some excuse of what is wrong with her. So she never cleans her house and the oldest girl (9) is always doing for the younger one, when she is in school all the younger one does is watch TV and when he is hungry he just gets in the fridge and gets a hot dog, slice cheese, or something he can get himself. We have offered to help clean the house but she wont let us, she always says, ohh I will do it when I feel better.... The thing is, the kids are really bad, they don't listen and they have had NO disipline whats so ever! When they come to are house I just about pull my hair out, my kids are all pretty well behaved and I'm just not use to this kind of behavior and I dont know what to do. My husband and I have talked and he thinks it's better for them to stay with the grandparents where they at least can be together and have there family around. I have thought about calling the welfare but I just can't bring myself to do it, I really dont want the kids split apart but I know that there not in a good enviroment either. My husband and I both work full time and we really can't afford taking on 2 more kids, plus we don't have the room. What do you think I should do? |
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04-27-2006, 06:21 PM | #2 |
Donating YT 30K Club Member | That's a sad and bad situation. Is there any other family member who is in a position to help. Maybe a church or some agency could help find them a foster home to get them into a better environment. Good luck.
__________________ Cali Pixie Roxie : RIP Nikki; RIP Maya;RIP my sweet Dixie girl 1/17/08 http://callipuppyscastle.bravehost.com/index.html |
04-27-2006, 06:22 PM | #3 |
Donating YT 12K Club Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Council Bluffs Iowa
Posts: 12,552
| I think you should call social services. Is there another family member that might be able to take them? They will keep them together if at all possible. but a good foster home would be desireable to the way they are living now. Also if they go through the court and you take them in, the state should support them, so it would not be a financial strain on you. |
04-27-2006, 06:26 PM | #4 |
YT Addict Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Washington
Posts: 251
| I think the system will try to keep them together. I seriously can't imagine them getting seperated. I would call Social Services.... those kids deserve better.
__________________ Zoe and Pixie's Mommy |
04-27-2006, 06:41 PM | #5 |
BANNED FOR NOT MAILING PRODUCTS PURCHASED | but is it right to take the kids away from the only people who has ever loved and tried to care for them? It's not the kids fault that there mother has done this to them! I'm so sad, the other day the grandma dropped off the boy cause she had to go to the doctors , go figure, and he was so good, I could have never asked for a better kid, when he is away from his sister, he is good as gold, I told my husband I wish we could just take him, but It's not fair to split them up, they have only had each other through out there whole life. |
04-27-2006, 06:59 PM | #6 |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: North eastern Illinois Suburbs
Posts: 1,669
| We owe it to those that we bring into this world a good course to adult hood... Is it fair to allow them to be raised in such poor conditions? If you have a chance to make their life better, be the adult and do so! It's a tough decision and I think you already know what you should do. Be careful not to put a strain on your marriage, but on the flip side, this should not be allowed to continue imo. It's not fair to ANYONE to accept this. I'd call the state and let them know what's up and go from there. I think that if those kids did get split, that they will thank you in the end regardless because you had their best interests in mind and didn't drop them like a bad habit and ruin their lives by not providing for them or finding someone that could. There's got to be someone/somewhere safe for these kids that will spend the time and finances on them that they deserve. I really hope for the best for you and yours!!! I don't envy you, please keep us posted! |
04-27-2006, 07:31 PM | #7 |
Luv My Spoiled Babies Donating Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: New Jersey
Posts: 3,065
| I agree, I think you should call the state I don't think they would seperate them. Since you both work full time and don't have the room I would not feel quilty. These children deserve a chance of a normal childhood and I think you would be giving them that opportunity buy getting Child Services involved. Good Luck.
__________________ Susan Mac Mellie & Manny Until we meet again at Rainbow Bridge |
04-28-2006, 06:23 PM | #8 |
YT Addict Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Tennessee
Posts: 460
| there is somebody out there who would love to have them both and they deserve a chance for happiness. Besides, if they live in filth they will probaly have a home like that when they get on their own because that's all they know!! who will teach them how to be good parents to their children? My friend in Mi. adopted 10 kids and had 5 of her own and 2 of her husbands that's right !!17 in all --I used to babysit for them but they only had 10 at home at the time. she let them keep in touch with the "birth "mother too!! she only adopted 1 as a baby all the others were older kids |
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