YorkieTalk.com Forums - Yorkshire Terrier Community


Welcome to the YorkieTalk.com Forums Community - the community for Yorkshire Terriers.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. You will be able to chat with over 35,000 YorkieTalk members, read over 2,000,000 posted discussions, and view more than 15,000 Yorkie photos in the YorkieTalk Photo Gallery after you register. We would love to have you as a member!

Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please click here to contact us.

Go Back   YorkieTalk.com Forums - Yorkshire Terrier Community > All Else > Off Topic Discussions
Register Blogs FAQ Calendar JavaChat Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 03-13-2006, 11:33 AM   #1
YT 3000 Club Member
 
Latuya's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Rialto CA
Posts: 3,243
Default totally off topic but I really need some advise here

My oldest daughter came to me 2 weeks ago asking for my advise. And I was not ready for what she told me. Her best friend is pregnant and is already 3 to 4 months and hasn't told her mother. She is the sweetest girl and is probably closer to our family then she is to her own. I felt so bad for her in one hand and so disappointed in the other. Desiree is worried about her friend and feels she needs to tell her mother and start seeing a doctor.

Well she got her friend to at least come to me for help. She asked if can take her to the doctor for starters. I did it but felt so badly. I mean if this was my daughter I would be so hurt that she couldn't come to me. I can not imagine how her mother is going to feel once she learns that I knew, took her to the doctor and didn't tell her. It's eating me inside. I got ahold of Raquel and her boy friend and sat them both down here and had a nice long talk with the both of them on Friday. I told them that they have to tell their parents. They both agreed that they would tell their parents. It is now Monday and they had all weekend to do so but they didn't. Do you think I should tell their parents? I told her that I would go with her to tell her mother if she wanted me to. She said no and that she promised that she would do it herself. I talked to her last night and she told me that her mom got into a car accident Friday night and on Sat. her grandmother fell and ended up in the hospital. So she felt her mom was going though so much, she decided it wasn't the right time to tell her.

Mean while she is starting to show and I don't know how her mother hasn't noticed anything. It's really sad that her and her mother don't have that close of an relationship. I can't see anyone being so caught up in their own things and not notice the changes that is so apparent to her own daughter.

What do you all think I should do? As a parent I feel I should go tell her mother. I know she must be scared and I can understand that. There is no way I would be able to go to my mom if it were me. That's why I promised that I would have a open about any and every thing relationship with my kids once I had them. I just stummed with this one. And don't know what to do.
__________________
Monica, Proud mom of Gus who is forever missed! And new mom to Leiloni
Gus's Dogster page
Latuya is offline   Reply With Quote
Welcome Guest!
Not Registered?

Join today and remove this ad!

Old 03-13-2006, 11:41 AM   #2
Donating YT 30K Club Member
 
Patti's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Illinois
Posts: 35,509
Blog Entries: 6
Default

My opinion is that she should be the one to tell her Mom. She needs to do so now. I got pregnant at 17 and I was 5 months pregnant when my parents found out, actually my husband, boyfriend at the time, mother worked at the same company I did and she found out and told my parents. It was pretty awful but they supported me. This was in 1970 and not well received back then. She must be so scared. I told my dtr who is 20 what happened to me and have always kept an open and honest relationship with her. It's nice she can talk to you but her parents need to know now.JMO
__________________
Cali Pixie Roxie : RIP Nikki; RIP Maya;RIP my sweet Dixie girl 1/17/08
http://callipuppyscastle.bravehost.com/index.html
Patti is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-13-2006, 11:47 AM   #3
YT 6000 Club Member
 
fasteddie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 6,238
Default

I assume she is keeping the baby? If so, the mother will have to find out sooner or later, and it's probably best for the mom and daughter's relationship that her mom find out sooner. I would hope the mom supports her daughter and helps her through this, as you can't change the past and making her feel bad about it will not do the daughter any good.

I believe if the child is a minor, that her mother has the right to know. If your daughter's friend is 18, then she would be considered a full adult and responsible for her own actions.

You can try to give her another few days or a week to tell her mom about it, but if she still fails to tell her at that point, tell her that you will tell the mom directly. It may also depend a bit on how close a friend you are with the mom, as not telling her may strain your relationship with the mom. It is a very difficult situation you are in.
__________________
YODA & WINKY R ::: RIP Winky ::: RIP Yoda!
fasteddie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-13-2006, 11:50 AM   #4
Donating YT 4000 Club Member
 
hle_625's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Missouri
Posts: 4,637
Default

How old is this girl! I think that she just needs to tell her mother! Her mom may be mad for a few days but she will get over it and she will support her in the end! Maybe you should tell this girl that she has until tomorrow to tell her mom or you are going to call her mom and let her know that something is going on! Its just sad that her and her mom do not have a close enough relationship where she has to feel so scared to tell her! I wish you the best of luck and keep us updated on whats happening!
__________________
Heather, Chloe Lynn and Daisy May
hle_625 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-13-2006, 11:56 AM   #5
Owned by my Furbabies
 
Princessyorkies's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,482
Default

I think she should tell her mother herself. But let me ask you this...do you have a realationship with this girls mother? I mean are you close friends or just friends from the children being friends? I ask this only because the mother I would think will really be upset with her daughter and with you also once she finds out.
I think you should tell the girl your giving her till say like Wednesday to tell her mother and if she has not then you should take her to tell her mother.
My opinion on this...
Princessyorkies is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-13-2006, 12:18 PM   #6
Donating YT 3000 Club Member
 
teri88's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: NJ
Posts: 4,021
Default

Wow! How awful for you to be stuck in the middle of this. I think the mother needs to know. As you said, you would want to know if it was you. My 15 year old son came to me a few weeks ago and told me he tried smoking. We talked about it and he understood it was a stupid thing to do. Well, he has one friend who is just the most mature, wonderful young man. That young man came over one night and asked to see Kevin. They sat in the living room talking for about an hour, then Kevin asked us to come into the living room. He told us both that he'd been smoking. His friend Vinnie talked him into telling us and told him he wasn't leaving until they talked to us together. (Vinnie was pretty surprised to find out I already knew, he thought Kevin was pulling his leg when he said he'd told me). Maybe you could do something like that for her. Just go there, be with her and make her tell right then. I don't know, I'm sorry you have to go through this, what a sad situation.
__________________
Teri Owned by and completely devoted to Tucker... Maddie, we will always love you
Bandit, you are always in my heart
Proud Member SSLS
teri88 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-13-2006, 12:29 PM   #7
YT 3000 Club Member
 
Latuya's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Rialto CA
Posts: 3,243
Default

This is really tough! She is only 15. She was able to go see the doctor without her mother and is considered emancipated. But she does live under her mothers roof and I feel she has the right to know. Just like I told the both of them. They knew what could happen having unprotective sex and yes they will be getting butt chewings just like I have them. But I know both his and her parents will be there for them. I just don't understand why they would be so scared. His mother had him when she was 16 and I know that this is the last thing she wanted for her son but she knows what it's like and she will be there for him. There is no way they can do this alone and have to tell them as soon as possible. They will need their families support. I am very close to her but her mother is Spanish speaking and I speak very little Spanish. I mean very very little.
__________________
Monica, Proud mom of Gus who is forever missed! And new mom to Leiloni
Gus's Dogster page
Latuya is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-13-2006, 01:00 PM   #8
Just me 'n my boys
Donating Member
 
Tiggerwit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Murphy, TX
Posts: 4,596
Default

Yikes. Have you offered to go with the girl to tell her mother? Being that's she's emancipated I'm guessing there is a reason, hence her hesitation at telling her mom. I'm guessing she already knows how her mom will react. Maybe if you went with her it would be easier for her to talk to her mom. It's hard to say without knowing the situation fully. Perhaps there are some agencies that she can get some help from also that you could help her get in touch with. School counselor? Is there a father?

Best of luck.
Tiggerwit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-13-2006, 01:02 PM   #9
Donating YT 9000 Club Member
 
mustangbee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: North Carolina :)
Posts: 10,616
Default

Hmmmm,
I'm so glad she had you to turn to.
She needs to talk with her Mom, and it has to be soon.
Maybe you can be there with her, even if she said she can do it on her own, she hasn't yet, so she might be waiting for you to ask again to be there. Has her boyfriend told his parents? I wish them the best of luck, it's so sad, kids just want to grow up way too fast these days.
Good luck to you, just one more thing you didn't need to worry about, but will anyway. Is'nt motherhood grand, it's not just our kids we care about, it's everyone elses too. I have been in the same boat with the girl down the street, wasn't easy, her Mom is a fruitcake!!!! She's finding out taking care of a baby isn't easy. I didn't know being a parent was easy, I must have missed that part.
Thanks for being there for her.
__________________
Friends are God's way of apologizing for our relatives.
"Love & Support Our YT Members"
Gina & Princess Member of the SSLS
mustangbee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-13-2006, 01:04 PM   #10
Donating YT 500 Club Member
 
Rockster's Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
Posts: 1,279
Default

That is really young to be having a baby or sex IMO. She should really tell her parents ASAP, because she will need all the help she can get. If I were you I would have to tell her parents what is going on because you gave her a chance to tell them. As a parent I would want to know. I would probably be very upset with my daughter for not coming to me first but at least she asked someone for help. Has she given any thought what is she is going to do with baby? Being 15 years old, she really has no way to support the baby, and if you parents don't help it will be really rough.
Rockster's Mom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-13-2006, 01:40 PM   #11
YT 3000 Club Member
 
Latuya's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Rialto CA
Posts: 3,243
Default

Yes that is way too young to be having a baby let alone having sex. We were shocked. My daughter cried when she found out. I really feel that if her mother was more in tune with her children and kept a better eye on them, this would not have happened. But it's too late for all of that. The only thing I can do is be here for her. She totally has our families support. I am thinking of giving her till the end of the week. I will have to go with her if I have to. I just hope her mother wont be upset with me for not telling her in the first place. As for his partents, I don't know the story there. I know he is not getting along with his mother and it's because of her boyfriend. It's a sad story all around. She does plan on keeping the baby. These kids have no idea. I am going to talk to her today and see whats going on.
__________________
Monica, Proud mom of Gus who is forever missed! And new mom to Leiloni
Gus's Dogster page
Latuya is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-13-2006, 04:42 PM   #12
Stewie Rox the Sox
Donating Member
 
StewiesMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 6,306
Default

Go with her, but please please don't tell her mother without her. I think you did an awesome thing by just being there for her. I am afraid she will go through some awful stress that could be detrimental to her pregnancy (3-4 mos is the most common time for miscarriages) if you tell her mom without her knowing. Good luck Moncia. As if we didn't know you were an awesome person already, you're really showing that you're great by helping your daugther's friend.
__________________
Kristy & Stewie
StewiesMom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-2006, 12:03 AM   #13
YT 3000 Club Member
 
Latuya's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Rialto CA
Posts: 3,243
Default

Thank you Kristy. I sometimes think I try and take on too much. But I will protect and do what ever I can for those I love and care about. I worry a little more then I should and I know it will get all worked out. There's a precious life coming into the world and we will help in anyway we can.
__________________
Monica, Proud mom of Gus who is forever missed! And new mom to Leiloni
Gus's Dogster page
Latuya is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks



Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




Google
 

SHOP NOW: Amazon :: eBay :: Buy.com :: Newegg :: PetStore :: Petco :: PetSmart


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 01:30 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright ©2003 - 2018 YorkieTalk.com
Privacy Policy - Terms of Use

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360 361 362 363 364 365 366 367 368 369 370 371 372 373 374 375 376 377 378 379 380 381 382 383 384 385 386 387 388 389 390 391 392 393 394 395 396 397 398 399 400 401 402 403 404 405 406 407 408 409 410 411 412 413 414 415 416 417 418 419 420 421 422 423 424 425 426 427 428 429 430 431 432 433 434 435 436 437 438 439 440 441 442 443 444 445 446 447 448 449 450 451 452 453 454 455 456 457 458 459 460 461 462 463 464 465 466 467 468 469 470 471 472 473 474 475 476 477 478 479 480 481 482 483 484 485 486 487 488 489 490 491 492 493 494 495 496 497 498 499 500 501 502 503 504 505 506 507 508 509 510 511 512 513 514 515 516 517 518 519 520 521 522 523 524 525 526 527 528 529 530 531 532 533 534 535 536 537 538 539 540 541 542 543 544 545 546 547 548 549 550 551 552 553 554 555 556 557 558 559 560 561 562 563 564 565 566 567 568 569 570 571 572 573 574 575 576 577 578 579 580 581 582 583 584 585 586 587 588 589 590 591 592 593 594 595 596 597 598 599 600 601 602 603 604 605 606 607 608 609 610 611 612 613 614 615 616 617 618 619 620 621 622 623 624 625 626 627 628 629 630 631 632 633 634 635 636 637 638 639 640 641 642 643 644 645 646 647 648 649 650 651 652 653 654 655 656 657 658 659 660 661 662 663 664 665 666 667 668 669 670 671 672 673 674 675 676 677 678 679 680 681 682 683 684 685 686 687 688 689 690 691 692 693 694 695 696 697 698 699 700 701 702 703 704 705 706 707 708 709 710 711 712 713 714 715 716 717 718 719 720 721 722 723 724 725 726 727 728 729 730 731 732 733 734 735 736 737 738 739 740 741 742 743 744 745 746 747 748 749 750 751 752 753 754 755 756 757 758 759 760 761 762 763 764 765 766 767 768 769 770 771 772 773 774 775 776 777 778 779 780 781 782 783 784 785 786 787 788 789 790 791 792 793 794 795 796 797 798 799 800 801 802 803 804 805 806 807 808 809 810 811 812 813 814 815 816 817 818 819 820 821 822 823 824 825 826 827 828 829 830 831 832 833 834 835 836 837 838 839 840 841 842 843 844 845 846 847 848 849 850 851 852 853 854 855 856 857 858 859 860 861 862 863 864 865 866 867 868 869 870 871 872 873 874 875 876 877 878 879 880 881 882 883 884 885 886 887 888 889 890 891 892 893 894 895 896 897 898 899 900 901 902 903 904 905 906 907 908 909 910 911 912 913 914 915 916 917 918 919 920 921 922 923 924 925 926 927 928 929 930 931 932 933 934 935 936 937 938 939 940 941 942 943 944 945 946 947 948 949 950 951 952 953 954 955 956 957 958 959 960 961 962 963 964 965 966 967 968 969 970 971 972 973 974 975 976 977 978 979 980 981 982 983 984 985 986 987 988 989 990 991 992 993 994 995 996 997 998 999 1000 1001 1002 1003 1004 1005 1006 1007 1008 1009 1010 1011 1012 1013 1014 1015 1016 1017 1018 1019 1020 1021 1022 1023 1024 1025 1026 1027 1028 1029 1030 1031 1032 1033 1034 1035 1036 1037 1038 1039 1040 1041 1042 1043 1044 1045 1046 1047 1048 1049 1050 1051 1052 1053 1054 1055 1056 1057 1058 1059 1060 1061 1062 1063 1064 1065 1066 1067 1068 1069 1070 1071 1072 1073 1074 1075 1076 1077 1078 1079 1080 1081 1082 1083 1084 1085 1086 1087 1088 1089 1090 1091 1092 1093 1094 1095 1096 1097 1098 1099 1100 1101 1102 1103 1104 1105 1106 1107 1108 1109 1110 1111 1112 1113 1114 1115 1116 1117 1118 1119 1120 1121 1122 1123 1124 1125 1126 1127 1128 1129 1130 1131 1132 1133 1134 1135 1136 1137 1138 1139 1140 1141 1142 1143 1144 1145 1146 1147 1148 1149 1150 1151 1152 1153 1154 1155 1156 1157 1158 1159 1160 1161 1162 1163 1164 1165 1166 1167