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02-27-2006, 02:13 PM | #1 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Illinois
Posts: 91
| To: God From: The Dog I just thought this was a cute forward my sister sent me!!!! TO: GOD FROM: THE DOG Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story? Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler Beagle"? Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog? Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beeper s, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand? Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please. Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize? Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog. 1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up. 2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell. 3 I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty. 4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar. 5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps. 6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff. 7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator. 8. I will not bite the officer' s hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration. 9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet. 10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello". 11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table. 12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after. 13. I will not throw up in the car. 14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt. 15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company. 16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing. And, finally, My last two questions . . Dear God: Why do humans only have 10 Commandments and dogs have 16? P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back? |
Welcome Guest! | |
02-27-2006, 03:13 PM | #2 |
My little Beach Bums Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Southern CA
Posts: 1,218
| Super Cute! #14 made me laugh, I hate skid marks on my carpet. Whole sideyard filled with green grass and sure enough, beige carpet must be softer. Little stinky butts!
__________________ Janell, Surfie, Tiki, and Kona |
02-27-2006, 03:50 PM | #3 |
Mojo, LilyGrace & Me Donating Member Moderator Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: cuddling with my babies<3
Posts: 17,329
| How cute! Thanks for sharing!!
__________________ Hi I'm Jenn Mom to..... Mojo,LilyGrace & DD Kate RIP Mojo FOREVER in our hearts! |
02-27-2006, 04:14 PM | #4 |
Donating YT 10K Club Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Alabama
Posts: 17,674
| Very cute, I smiled more than once. What about that Chrysler Beagle? |
02-27-2006, 06:59 PM | #5 |
Luv My Bug! Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: california
Posts: 1,573
| Oh how cute! Thanks for sharing.
__________________ TARMAR'S YORKIES |
02-27-2006, 07:06 PM | #6 |
Got Yorkies? Donating Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: S.E. Mo
Posts: 1,602
| Love the underwear tug of war...can't you imagine!
__________________ She-Ra Marie ~ 9-22-02 to 2-22-06 Dixie Belle ~ 10-12-2006 to 12-13-2008 You girls left us way to soon. I miss you both. |
02-27-2006, 07:21 PM | #7 | |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,194
| Quote:
LOL....too funny! Francie | |
02-27-2006, 07:30 PM | #8 |
Waiting for my Little Girl Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: miami, florida
Posts: 1,313
| i LOVED 9 and 10, so funny, yet so true!
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