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02-18-2006, 05:27 PM | #1 |
YT Addict Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Louisiana
Posts: 484
| He called... I need to vent After over 3 months of hearing nothing and fearing that he was dead my x husband called tonight (I call him my x even though we are not divorced yet). My phone rings (I don't have caller ID anymore) and I hear a gasp on the other end of the line and I knew it was him. He started crying so hard I could barely understand him. He cried even harder when he heard Mia in the background. He told me that he loves me and he is messed-up in the head over all of this. He kept repeating over and over again that he misses me. He tells me that he has not cheated on me, that he has been faithful to me. I got up enough nerve to tell him that if he wants another woman to go for it and I told him that I was not in love with him anymore and that I wanted nothing from him except for a divorce and custody of Mia. I felt so free finally saying that to him. He then started acusing me of "cheating" on him. I told him that my personal life was none of his buisness. Then he tells me that he wants to see Mia. I do not want my daughter going off with a drug addict alchoholic even if he is her father. I did not say that to him, I just changed the subject. We did not talk for long and God only knows when I will hear from him again. I'm just glad that I did not break and cry on the phone to him like he was to me. I held my ground and acted like I was over the whole relationship. I quit smoking three weeks ago and I have NEVER wanted a cigarette so bad. Part of me does miss him and it broke my heart hearing him cry like that but I can't let him know that. I am mad at myself for feeling this way and for crying over this phone call. Next month it will be a year that he left, we were together for 10 years. I figured that after a year I would be over it... but I'm not. I hate admitting that I am not over him yet.
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02-18-2006, 05:35 PM | #2 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Virginia
Posts: 800
| I am soooo sorry you are going through this!! It is great that you were so strong! And it is great, more than you know now, that you can get it out and talk about it and be honest to yourself about your feelings! I wish you good luck and strength and will pray for you and your daughter! |
02-18-2006, 05:44 PM | #3 |
Donating YT 30K Club Member | You are a very strong person to hold it together with all the different emotions you must have been feeling! I give you a lot of credit for moving on with your life even though it was so difficult.
__________________ Cali Pixie Roxie : RIP Nikki; RIP Maya;RIP my sweet Dixie girl 1/17/08 http://callipuppyscastle.bravehost.com/index.html |
02-18-2006, 06:06 PM | #4 |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 1,216
| Great Job holding your ground!!! Girl I've been in your same situation only it was my boyfriend who was the druggie/alcoholic and we didn't have a kid. One thing is for sure don't let him see your precious daughter. and don't feel guilty about crying it's a natural part of moving on. I'm here for you if you need to talk ok? just know that all of us are here for you and always will be.
__________________ Tigger's dogster http://www.dogster.com/?257308 Bear's dogster: www.dogster.com/?368626. Krystal, John, Tigger and Baby Bear. |
02-18-2006, 06:07 PM | #5 |
Yorkie Lover Donating Member | You can be strong....stick with it and be strong for yourself and your daughter!!! Hearing his voice is probably hard but you have to remember how you felt before the phone even rang....if you need to talk Please PM!!! We are hear to help you out....
__________________ Kristin, Mom to: Lil Mis Magic, Sailor and Captain |
02-18-2006, 07:46 PM | #6 |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: none
Posts: 1,495
| I'm proud of you! And congrats on being smoke-free for 3 weeks! It sounds like your life is so much better without him in it. I think you're doing what's best for your daughter. Tell him he needs to clean up his act and start acting like a father if he wants to be part of her life. Everyday you will see that this gets just a little bit easier. Good luck- and you should probably get that caller id back. |
02-18-2006, 08:25 PM | #7 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Queens, NY
Posts: 1,485
| This is such a difficult situation. You will always love him but it dosen't mean that you want to be with him. Your heart needs time to heal so be patient. I admire you for being so strong and very glad that your daughter has a mother so caring. Good luck!
__________________ Christine and Zoe www.dogster.com/?269135 Yes guys...Zoe is a BOY!! He finally forgave me. |
02-19-2006, 04:08 PM | #8 |
Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Bowling Green KY
Posts: 425
| I have been in a similar place. I feel for you my dear. In KY it's possible to get a divorce even if you don't know where the other party to the divorce is. You may want to look into it. If I remember it correctly, you publish an ad in the papers in your area stating that you are requesting a divorce from so and so and if they do not respond by a such and such date, that divorce will be granted and all wishes (including custody) will be granted as you wish by default. Ask an attorney about it for your state. You do NOT have to wait until he GIVES you a divorce. Or so I sure hope. Good luck and STAY STRONG!
__________________ ~Amanda * Biewers: Armani & Titan |
02-19-2006, 05:43 PM | #9 | |
YT Addict Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Louisiana
Posts: 484
| Quote:
Thanks to everyone for the kind words of support! I apreciate it very much!
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