YorkieTalk.com Forums - Yorkshire Terrier Community


Welcome to the YorkieTalk.com Forums Community - the community for Yorkshire Terriers.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. You will be able to chat with over 35,000 YorkieTalk members, read over 2,000,000 posted discussions, and view more than 15,000 Yorkie photos in the YorkieTalk Photo Gallery after you register. We would love to have you as a member!

Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please click here to contact us.

Go Back   YorkieTalk.com Forums - Yorkshire Terrier Community > All Else > Off Topic Discussions
Register Blogs FAQ Calendar JavaChat Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 02-09-2006, 09:40 AM   #1
YT 3000 Club Member
 
Latuya's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Rialto CA
Posts: 3,243
Default She's having nightmares.

I don't know what to do. As many of you know, I have had my niece here with us for the last year. Her mommy (my sister) got into some trouble. Well she will be getting out in Sept. I talk about her all the time. And Cherish knows who her mommy is. She plays with one of my old cell phones and pretends she's talking to her mommy almost every day. But when she calls for real, Cherish wont say anything. We've gone to see her quite a bit when she was close but they moved her far,, (about a 4 hour drive) We've only gone once to see her since she's been there. Well we are planning on going to see her this weekend and I keep telling Cherish that we are going to see her mommy. Well every time I bring it up she'll start to cry and say "I don't want to go see my mommy. And the last 2 nights she's has had nightmares. Like she did when she first came to us. I don't know what to do about it. I tald my mom and she said that she'll be ok once she sees her. I just don't know. My sister is going to be getting her back as long as she stays with my mom and stays clean. And now I am worried. I do plan on going back to work once Cherish leaves, but I worry about this and don't what Cherish to go though any more heartship then she has already gone through. She is 3 and a HANDFULL!!!!! I sometimes count the days till her mom gets out but other times I worry so much. I know my sister has learned her lesson and I really think being in there really scared her enough to do the right thing and stay clean and be there for her daughter. But like most cases she just may start up again thinking she will not get caught,,,,, I hate the idea of this poor little girl going thought this again. Only this time I will not beable to take her in if I go to work. I feel so torn and don't know what to do about Cherish's nightmares. Do you think she can remember anything bad that may have happened to her while with her mother? She had just turned 2 when her mom went away and I didn't think she would remember much,,,,, but I feel she has something going on in her head and worry so much about her. What should I do about this weekend? Should I still go?
__________________
Monica, Proud mom of Gus who is forever missed! And new mom to Leiloni
Gus's Dogster page
Latuya is offline   Reply With Quote
Welcome Guest!
Not Registered?

Join today and remove this ad!

Old 02-09-2006, 09:48 AM   #2
YT 3000 Club Member
 
Latuya's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Rialto CA
Posts: 3,243
Default

I wanted to share her picture. I just can't stand to this precious litte face sad, scared or confused! It kills me to think of what this little girl has been through in her short life. Oh I hope and pray my sister does right by her!
Attached Images
File Type: jpg 3 year 2.jpg (24.6 KB, 40 views)
File Type: jpg 3 year old pic.jpg (14.2 KB, 53 views)
__________________
Monica, Proud mom of Gus who is forever missed! And new mom to Leiloni
Gus's Dogster page
Latuya is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-09-2006, 09:54 AM   #3
YT Addict
 
Claire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 484
Default

Go, but don't push her. Tell her that she does not have to go in to see her if she does not want to but she at least has to drive there with you. It may be good for your sister seeing how her decisions have hurt Cherish. I feel for your niece right now. My husband is a drug addict. That is why we are seperated and why I am fighting for a divorce right now. I don't know how I will ever explain to Mia why her daddy left us. He is homeless, living on the streets somewhere in Kansas. He has been to rehab 7 times. He would stay clean for maybe a month or two, the longest was 6 months, then go right back to it. He was good at hiding it. PM me if you need to, I will be happy to privatly share with you the details and the signs that I have noticed to look for. Good luck to you and your family. I will say a prayer for you and Cherish.
__________________
Claire is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-09-2006, 09:55 AM   #4
YT 6000 Club Member
 
vainchick5's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 6,588
Default

I wish I could help in some way. But all I can say is good for you for stepping up and helping your niece. She needs you right now and probably looks at you as more of a mom than her own. She is probably feeling anger and resentment, but not knowing why. She just knows mommy went away. She may be thinking it's her fault, that she did something to make mommy go away. It's hard to guess. Get her to draw a picture for you and evaluate the picture. She will probably draw something from her dreams or fears. You may get some insight into her mind that way. I will Pray that this little girl gets some normalcy back into her life and no more heartbreak.
__________________
Mommy to Coco and Rocco
vainchick5 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-09-2006, 09:55 AM   #5
Donating YT 10K Club Member
 
bchgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: at da beach
Posts: 15,444
Blog Entries: 2
Default

What a sweetheart I'd say her nightmares are NOT from what she remembers before. I think they're related to the present. She knows YOU, your routines, your love, etc., etc., now she's being told her mother's coming back. She doesn't KNOW her mother. In her mind, you have filled that role, and now the threat (in her mind) is you're going away and she has to go with a stranger. I'd advise more visits with her mom,(a pain I know because of the distance) so she gets to know her, and less talk, right now anyway, of how she's going to live with momma. It wouldn't hurt for her to spend some time with your mother, so there's more familiarity there too. I hope your sister stays clean and sober....there's someone more important in the picture
__________________
Deb, Reese, Reggie, Frazier, Libby, Sidney, & Bodie
Trace & Ramsey who watch over us
www.biewersbythebay.com
bchgirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-09-2006, 10:21 AM   #6
Gizmo and Gidget's Pet
Donating Member
 
heather_lathrop's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 1,326
Default

Im so sorry! I could not imagine being in your situation. my best friend (cpmarried) went through something similar as a child. I just asked her to post to you. God Bless you, and good luck..
__________________
Heather & Max

- In honor of my sweet Ayden!
heather_lathrop is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-09-2006, 10:27 AM   #7
YT 3000 Club Member
 
Latuya's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Rialto CA
Posts: 3,243
Default

Thank you Claire, wow I will say a prayer for you as well. I do know the signs. My sister has had her ups and downs but had been on and off for the last 13 years. I can totally tell when she starts using. But this is the first time she been sent away for it. We all thought she would stay clean after she had Cherish. She had been clean for 4 years, but after a devorce, getting pregnant by someone she really didn't know and having the guy leave after learning of her pregnance, having to move back to my moms, and dealing with a father who had a racism issue due to her baby being mixed. (Which he has come to terms with now and loves Cherish just as much as his other grandkids) I think it was a bit much for her and turned to her old friends. She need to learn how to deal with issues and not run to durgs when things get bad. I hope and pray with the family support she can really stay clean.

Vainchick thanks for the kind words. I was very lucky I was able to take her in and care for her and show her a life she so deserves. She is surrounded by lots of people who love her. And we all will worry so about her well being once she leaves.

Deb, yes I think once she is at my moms house she will be ok. She is used to my moms house. It's were she was born and the only stable place she's been becides here. She's comfortable there although she did give me a hard time the last time my mom watched her. She cried for a bit but was fine the rest of the time she was there. I think I will be spending a little more time at my moms to she can get used to it. Because going to see her mom being that she is so far, it hard for me. I have 3 kids of my own and although my husband is great it's hard to get away too often. Me and my mom were talking the other day, and we decided that we will take turn driving up to see her every month till she gets out. I hope with Cherish seeing her more she'll get to know her a little better. And we are planning on a weekend stay. They have a probram where the inmates can have a weekend visit with thier family. They have small apartment sized housing were we can stay the weekend with her. So we plan on doing that a few weeks before she gets out. Hopefully she will get to know her mother alittle that way.
__________________
Monica, Proud mom of Gus who is forever missed! And new mom to Leiloni
Gus's Dogster page
Latuya is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-09-2006, 10:28 AM   #8
YT 3000 Club Member
 
Latuya's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Rialto CA
Posts: 3,243
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by heather_lathrop
Im so sorry! I could not imagine being in your situation. my best friend (cpmarried) went through something similar as a child. I just asked her to post to you. God Bless you, and good luck..
Thank you Heather
__________________
Monica, Proud mom of Gus who is forever missed! And new mom to Leiloni
Gus's Dogster page
Latuya is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-09-2006, 10:32 AM   #9
Senior Yorkie Talker
 
cpmarried's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Ft. Campbell, KY
Posts: 154
Love

Well I think it is alittle of both (past and present)! If she does remember something from before than it could be causeing her to clig to you and causeing her to have nightmares about going back! I was a little over 2yrs when my dad got full custody of me! Before that I was with my mother (she was a drugie)! She was bruning me with cigarettes and making me carry drugs in my diaper(just in case she got stoped by the cops)! Now that being said I don't remember it, but on a subconsiuos leave I do! B/c to this day I am deathly afraid for anyone to come near me with a cigarette! Even if they are not come at me in a violante way! I still freak out! Just let her tell you what is wrong and if she doesn't watch her actions! She could be showing you something and you not realize it! Anyway just thought I would try to help!

Paula
__________________
Paula Proud Army Wife!
Supporting Our Troops! Supporting Courtney
Skeeter! Me @ Myspace!
cpmarried is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-09-2006, 10:42 AM   #10
YT 3000 Club Member
 
Latuya's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Rialto CA
Posts: 3,243
Default

Thank you Paula. You story made me cry. No baby should have to go through this. I am so sorry! Yes my sister did confess that she did alot of stupid things in front of Cherish. She seen her mother being roughed up by the police when not complying to ther commands at the time of arrest. And I know that had to have some long lasting affects to her. Even though she was so young, I really thinks she remembers.
__________________
Monica, Proud mom of Gus who is forever missed! And new mom to Leiloni
Gus's Dogster page
Latuya is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-09-2006, 10:56 AM   #11
Donating YT 10K Club Member
 
bchgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: at da beach
Posts: 15,444
Blog Entries: 2
Default

Monica, I think the plans you mentioned above are great ideas and will help immensely. I think I'd play up how much fun it to visit, how much you look forward to seeing her momma or grandma, etc. with no mention of her having to "GO" live any where else. Doesn't that sound kinda scarey to you? You are GOING away. Makes it sound like she's done something wrong and perhaps that's how she feels...she's done something wrong and you're sending her away.....sigh, I hope she doesn't really feel that way. Any way, play up the fun in visits, do something crafty the week before for momma and take it or make cookies, something she thinks is fun and tell her... oh, how pleased and surprised momma will be.
__________________
Deb, Reese, Reggie, Frazier, Libby, Sidney, & Bodie
Trace & Ramsey who watch over us
www.biewersbythebay.com
bchgirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-09-2006, 11:05 AM   #12
YT 3000 Club Member
 
Latuya's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Rialto CA
Posts: 3,243
Default

Deb, I have not mentioned anthing about her going with her mommy t her. Just that we are going to see her at school (that's where she tells everyone when they talk about her mother) But that is a very good idea when it comes that time. Thanks for the great advise. She loves making cookies!
__________________
Monica, Proud mom of Gus who is forever missed! And new mom to Leiloni
Gus's Dogster page
Latuya is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-09-2006, 11:14 AM   #13
Donating YT 10K Club Member
 
bchgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: at da beach
Posts: 15,444
Blog Entries: 2
Default

Well, cookies it is then. When my dd was younger, I could've told her we're going to Mars if I acted/sounded like it was the most exciting trip ever. She had surgery when small, and I even had her convinced "woo-wee, what a great time that was going to be" (even though I felt sick).

God bless all of ya'll
__________________
Deb, Reese, Reggie, Frazier, Libby, Sidney, & Bodie
Trace & Ramsey who watch over us
www.biewersbythebay.com
bchgirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-09-2006, 11:24 AM   #14
YT Addict
 
Claire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 484
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Latuya
I hope and pray with the family support she can really stay clean.
I hope so too... Cherish is so lucky to have you.
__________________
Claire is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-09-2006, 12:36 PM   #15
YT 3000 Club Member
 
Latuya's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Rialto CA
Posts: 3,243
Default

thank you so much for saying that. I am so happy I was able to take her in. It makes me so sad to know that at the age of 3 she has been though so much bad things!
__________________
Monica, Proud mom of Gus who is forever missed! And new mom to Leiloni
Gus's Dogster page
Latuya is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks



Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




Google
 

SHOP NOW: Amazon :: eBay :: Buy.com :: Newegg :: PetStore :: Petco :: PetSmart


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 09:06 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright ©2003 - 2018 YorkieTalk.com
Privacy Policy - Terms of Use

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360 361 362 363 364 365 366 367 368 369 370 371 372 373 374 375 376 377 378 379 380 381 382 383 384 385 386 387 388 389 390 391 392 393 394 395 396 397 398 399 400 401 402 403 404 405 406 407 408 409 410 411 412 413 414 415 416 417 418 419 420 421 422 423 424 425 426 427 428 429 430 431 432 433 434 435 436 437 438 439 440 441 442 443 444 445 446 447 448 449 450 451 452 453 454 455 456 457 458 459 460 461 462 463 464 465 466 467 468 469 470 471 472 473 474 475 476 477 478 479 480 481 482 483 484 485 486 487 488 489 490 491 492 493 494 495 496 497 498 499 500 501 502 503 504 505 506 507 508 509 510 511 512 513 514 515 516 517 518 519 520 521 522 523 524 525 526 527 528 529 530 531 532 533 534 535 536 537 538 539 540 541 542 543 544 545 546 547 548 549 550 551 552 553 554 555 556 557 558 559 560 561 562 563 564 565 566 567 568 569 570 571 572 573 574 575 576 577 578 579 580 581 582 583 584 585 586 587 588 589 590 591 592 593 594 595 596 597 598 599 600 601 602 603 604 605 606 607 608 609 610 611 612 613 614 615 616 617 618 619 620 621 622 623 624 625 626 627 628 629 630 631 632 633 634 635 636 637 638 639 640 641 642 643 644 645 646 647 648 649 650 651 652 653 654 655 656 657 658 659 660 661 662 663 664 665 666 667 668 669 670 671 672 673 674 675 676 677 678 679 680 681 682 683 684 685 686 687 688 689 690 691 692 693 694 695 696 697 698 699 700 701 702 703 704 705 706 707 708 709 710 711 712 713 714 715 716 717 718 719 720 721 722 723 724 725 726 727 728 729 730 731 732 733 734 735 736 737 738 739 740 741 742 743 744 745 746 747 748 749 750 751 752 753 754 755 756 757 758 759 760 761 762 763 764 765 766 767 768 769 770 771 772 773 774 775 776 777 778 779 780 781 782 783 784 785 786 787 788 789 790 791 792 793 794 795 796 797 798 799 800 801 802 803 804 805 806 807 808 809 810 811 812 813 814 815 816 817 818 819 820 821 822 823 824 825 826 827 828 829 830 831 832 833 834 835 836 837 838 839 840 841 842 843 844 845 846 847 848 849 850 851 852 853 854 855 856 857 858 859 860 861 862 863 864 865 866 867 868 869 870 871 872 873 874 875 876 877 878 879 880 881 882 883 884 885 886 887 888 889 890 891 892 893 894 895 896 897 898 899 900 901 902 903 904 905 906 907 908 909 910 911 912 913 914 915 916 917 918 919 920 921 922 923 924 925 926 927 928 929 930 931 932 933 934 935 936 937 938 939 940 941 942 943 944 945 946 947 948 949 950 951 952 953 954 955 956 957 958 959 960 961 962 963 964 965 966 967 968 969 970 971 972 973 974 975 976 977 978 979 980 981 982 983 984 985 986 987 988 989 990 991 992 993 994 995 996 997 998 999 1000 1001 1002 1003 1004 1005 1006 1007 1008 1009 1010 1011 1012 1013 1014 1015 1016 1017 1018 1019 1020 1021 1022 1023 1024 1025 1026 1027 1028 1029 1030 1031 1032 1033 1034 1035 1036 1037 1038 1039 1040 1041 1042 1043 1044 1045 1046 1047 1048 1049 1050 1051 1052 1053 1054 1055 1056 1057 1058 1059 1060 1061 1062 1063 1064 1065 1066 1067 1068 1069 1070 1071 1072 1073 1074 1075 1076 1077 1078 1079 1080 1081 1082 1083 1084 1085 1086 1087 1088 1089 1090 1091 1092 1093 1094 1095 1096 1097 1098 1099 1100 1101 1102 1103 1104 1105 1106 1107 1108 1109 1110 1111 1112 1113 1114 1115 1116 1117 1118 1119 1120 1121 1122 1123 1124 1125 1126 1127 1128 1129 1130 1131 1132 1133 1134 1135 1136 1137 1138 1139 1140 1141 1142 1143 1144 1145 1146 1147 1148 1149 1150 1151 1152 1153 1154 1155 1156 1157 1158 1159 1160 1161 1162 1163 1164 1165 1166 1167