Those with kids..ever use a reward and/or chore chart? - YorkieTalk.com Forums

AmyZinNC · 02-02-2006, 07:47 AM

we have two boys. Jonathan will be 5 in April and Andrew will be 7 in June.

we have GOT to get things under control in this house.
Let me preface by saying my youngest is ADHD w/ Sensory Integration. So he CAN be a huge handful. His medication for the ADHD works wonders and he goes to occupational therapy for his Sensory issues. I do take all this into consideration. But let me tell you, early am before his meds are given and late afternoon until bedtime are horendous here.

my oldest has a mild form of ADD, but only takes meds for school concentration. It doesn't really affect his behaviour if he has has meds or not.

So, hubby and I are at our wits end. We are tired of the contant yelling, "go to your rooms', etc...its causing friction between us!

We have decided we need to crack down NOW, and we think we're going to start with a reward/chore chart.

Time outs do not do a thing for them. The only punishemnts that show any effect are taking away tv time and riding their bicycles and dirt bikes.

So I guess my question is, if you used this method, how did it work out for you?

I think this was more of a vent than anything, and if you've gotten this far, thanks!!

One harried momma!!

DaisyMaesMom · 02-02-2006, 07:51 AM

Sorry Amy.. I'm of no help to you. My 3 run wild here too.. The 2 girls are really high maintenance!! I look forward to hearing what others have to say..

ytsirk27 · 02-02-2006, 07:56 AM

Well..im not help really eventhough I do have a 7 yrs old and 2 yrs old girls. My 7 yr old is a great kid but when she gets out of line all i say is you want me to spank your butt and shes done. I have only spanked her 3 times since she was born. Now my youngest is a handful but I have it to where I count 1-3 and she knows if i reach three shes getting a spanking. I have only spanked her around 4 times and it wasnt hardly a spanking. Some people dont agree with spanking but I do it gets them in control but as I have said I rarely have to spank them I just get my mad mommy voice and they chill out. I wasnt much help but thought id share! timeout works on my kids too so again NO help!!

Patti · 02-02-2006, 07:57 AM

With my daughter who is now 20 I used money or as my sister said bribes. It worked well with her. She was an easy child to begin with though and an only child. She learned at an early age that good behaviour and grades equaled money. Money saved could buy her things. She is now in college full time,going for her degree in accounting, works 20 hours a week and haas an impressive savings account, IRA and a CD. SO itworked well for her and us. I think every child is different and you need to find what works for them, For Jessica it was money.

AmyZinNC · 02-02-2006, 08:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Patti

With my daughter who is now 20 I used money or as my sister said bribes. It worked well with her. She was an easy child to begin with though and an only child. She learned at an early age that good behaviour and grades equaled money. Money saved could buy her things. She is now in college full time,going for her degree in accounting, works 20 hours a week and haas an impressive savings account, IRA and a CD. SO itworked well for her and us. I think every child is different and you need to find what works for them, For Jessica it was money.

We've just started doing allowance here, so hopefully that will work. I want to make a chart, wehre they get a check mark for each thing they complete (clearing their dinner plate, putting own clothes in hamper, toys where they belong, etc...) and for every like 5 checks, they get whatever amount we decide on.

I have to admit, Im one that if I see something i know they'd like (usually a new dirt bike toy) i buy it for them...but I MUST stop this as they are getting TOOOO use to it..they will need to learn to do their chores and save up for that new something themselves..........

ytsirk27 · 02-02-2006, 08:03 AM

I have also started an allowance with my children..both of them..Savannah (the youngest) cant do much but she tries and Cheyanne has specific chores she has to do or no money!

DaisyMaesMom · 02-02-2006, 08:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ytsirk27

I have also started an allowance with my children..both of them..Savannah (the youngest) cant do much but she tries and Cheyanne has specific chores she has to do or no money!

I have a Savannah also.. Very naughty little child.. LOL She's a miniture Shirley Temple.. Everyone eats her up!

ytsirk27 · 02-02-2006, 08:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaisyMaesMom

I have a Savannah also.. Very naughty little child.. LOL She's a miniture Shirley Temple.. Everyone eats her up!

oh yes, thats my Savannah to...does yours use the sticking out of the lip to get what she wants? Savannah does that and than goes Pwease?? melts your heart..the little buthead!

centralnewyorki · 02-02-2006, 08:09 AM

Let me just say that I have no children so I speak with absolutely zero experience.

However, I LOVE the Super Nanny and completely agree with her methods of parenting. She has used a chore chart and does various things for rewarding children. One of her biggest things is also that children need structure, so she creates a schedule for every family. Does your family have a set schedule for dinner, chores, play, homework, etc? She has done some amazing things with some really out-of-control families. I know she has a book out now. My mom loves the show and also agrees with her methods. She loves that I watch it and really encourages my sister to watch it for future reference. Here is the link to her site: http://abc.go.com/primetime/supernanny/index.html I hope that these suggestions can help. Good luck!

DaisyMaesMom · 02-02-2006, 08:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ytsirk27

oh yes, thats my Savannah to...does yours use the sticking out of the lip to get what she wants? Savannah does that and than goes Pwease?? melts your heart..the little buthead!

Savannah knows how to push all the right buttons!! SHe has started with the typical girlie attitude also. She will be 4 in 2 weeks..

cheryl000 · 02-02-2006, 08:12 AM

I have noticed with the younger kids it's easier if you help them along. Like don't just tell them to pick up their toys, but assist them in it. But if that doesn't work, or you have an older child that won't pick up his room, get the trashbag out and "throw things away." Then really put it in the garage. I did this with Dominick's train set that he wouldn't put away last week. Then you say, "Okay, you better pick up the rest of the room or the trash bag is coming." Or even say, "Remember last week when the trashbag came?" This works on my son and my nephew VERY well. Just be prepared for crying. But I don't like spanking because I was spanked as a child so I do that as a last resort.
I remember when I was young I was very bad about listening to my parents. I resented them. I believe that every kid in the family tries to find their place. Since getting good grades (I had straight A's) wasn't earning the attention that my older and younger sister were getting I choose not to listen to my parents when they told me to do chores. The only thing that really worked on my was good old fashioned praise. When I do something I have alot of pride in it and I thrive on recognition. I wouldn't clean the house if my parents where there. But if I knew my parents were going to be gone for hours, I would round my sisters up and we would clean the house and cook my parents dinner. I loved it if my parents praised me for that.
So what I'm saying is that we have to teach kids the real reason why we do chores and do have pride in it. Rewards even only go so far because then they're just doing it for the money and then they will expect it every time. Have you had a family conference to sit down and talk about everything? Encourage the kids to put everything on the table and talk about it. This is really important since it's giving you so many family problems. I would also try to read some books to get some ideas. Dr. Phil wrote a good one but I can't remember the name. Good luck and I hope this helps.

AmyZinNC · 02-02-2006, 08:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by centralnewyorki

Let me just say that I have no children so I speak with absolutely zero experience.

However, I LOVE the Super Nanny and completely agree with her methods of parenting. She has used a chore chart and does various things for rewarding children. One of her biggest things is also that children need structure, so she creates a schedule for every family. Does your family have a set schedule for dinner, chores, play, homework, etc? She has done some amazing things with some really out-of-control families. I know she has a book out now. My mom loves the show and also agrees with her methods. She loves that I watch it and really encourages my sister to watch it for future reference. Here is the link to her site: http://abc.go.com/primetime/supernanny/index.html I hope that these suggestions can help. Good luck!

Thats funny you say that, because Joe threatens to call supernanny all the time..lol

We have a sort of schedule, but we are going to tighten it up a bit..especailly where homework comes into play. It now must be done after school while waiting for daddy to come home, before he gets on his dirtbike. Doing it at 630-7pm is hard, becuase he's tired by then and wont concentrate.

ytsirk27 · 02-02-2006, 08:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaisyMaesMom

Savannah knows how to push all the right buttons!! SHe has started with the typical girlie attitude also. She will be 4 in 2 weeks..

Shes adorable!!! Heres my two..... my youngest loves purses... actually im such a bad mommy..my daughter just turned three the 28th so im still trying to get used to it LOLOL

DaisyMaesMom · 02-02-2006, 08:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ytsirk27

Shes adorable!!! Heres my two..... my youngest loves purses... actually im such a bad mommy..my daughter just turned three the 28th so im still trying to get used to it LOLOL

They are adorable. Savannah is really my hardest. The youngest is now following in her footsteps.. Everything big sister does she wants to do.. Hence, I think if I don't nip it in the bud I will have tw1o little monsters on my hands!!

Here's all three.

kittendes · 02-02-2006, 08:36 AM

The only chart we used with very good success was a Potty Chart. My daughter loves putting the stickers on her chart. As far as cleaning up, my daughter is not so good. I also use the trashbag, I tell her if I have to pick up her toys they will be put in the trash. A few times she tried calling my bluff, until I really picked up her toys and put them in the trash can. You want to talk about a crying session, but she cleaned up & we discussed why her toy went there & then I give it back. She no longer call my bluff. If something gets really out of hand, time outs do work for her.
Desiree

02-02-2006, 07:47 AM	#1
AmyZinNC Lazy Daisy's Mama Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: North of Raleigh, NC Posts: 801	Those with kids..ever use a reward and/or chore chart? we have two boys. Jonathan will be 5 in April and Andrew will be 7 in June. we have GOT to get things under control in this house. Let me preface by saying my youngest is ADHD w/ Sensory Integration. So he CAN be a huge handful. His medication for the ADHD works wonders and he goes to occupational therapy for his Sensory issues. I do take all this into consideration. But let me tell you, early am before his meds are given and late afternoon until bedtime are horendous here. my oldest has a mild form of ADD, but only takes meds for school concentration. It doesn't really affect his behaviour if he has has meds or not. So, hubby and I are at our wits end. We are tired of the contant yelling, "go to your rooms', etc...its causing friction between us! We have decided we need to crack down NOW, and we think we're going to start with a reward/chore chart. Time outs do not do a thing for them. The only punishemnts that show any effect are taking away tv time and riding their bicycles and dirt bikes. So I guess my question is, if you used this method, how did it work out for you? I think this was more of a vent than anything, and if you've gotten this far, thanks!! One harried momma!! __________________ Kisses from Lazy Daisy & Amy

02-02-2006, 07:57 AM	#4
Patti Donating YT 30K Club Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Illinois Posts: 35,509 Blog Entries: 6	With my daughter who is now 20 I used money or as my sister said bribes. It worked well with her. She was an easy child to begin with though and an only child. She learned at an early age that good behaviour and grades equaled money. Money saved could buy her things. She is now in college full time,going for her degree in accounting, works 20 hours a week and haas an impressive savings account, IRA and a CD. SO itworked well for her and us. I think every child is different and you need to find what works for them, For Jessica it was money. __________________ Cali Pixie Roxie : RIP Nikki; RIP Maya;RIP my sweet Dixie girl 1/17/08 http://callipuppyscastle.bravehost.com/index.html

02-02-2006, 08:09 AM	#9
centralnewyorki YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Central NY state Posts: 1,741	Let me just say that I have no children so I speak with absolutely zero experience. However, I LOVE the Super Nanny and completely agree with her methods of parenting. She has used a chore chart and does various things for rewarding children. One of her biggest things is also that children need structure, so she creates a schedule for every family. Does your family have a set schedule for dinner, chores, play, homework, etc? She has done some amazing things with some really out-of-control families. I know she has a book out now. My mom loves the show and also agrees with her methods. She loves that I watch it and really encourages my sister to watch it for future reference. Here is the link to her site: http://abc.go.com/primetime/supernanny/index.html I hope that these suggestions can help. Good luck! __________________ Susan & Olivia Visit Olivia's Dogster Page!

02-02-2006, 07:51 AM	#2
DaisyMaesMom and Ty too! Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Denver, Nope, not Colorado Posts: 1,235	Sorry Amy.. I'm of no help to you. My 3 run wild here too.. The 2 girls are really high maintenance!! I look forward to hearing what others have to say..

02-02-2006, 07:56 AM	#3
ytsirk27 BANNED FOR SCAMMING MEMBERS! Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Kansas Posts: 2,811	Well..im not help really eventhough I do have a 7 yrs old and 2 yrs old girls. My 7 yr old is a great kid but when she gets out of line all i say is you want me to spank your butt and shes done. I have only spanked her 3 times since she was born. Now my youngest is a handful but I have it to where I count 1-3 and she knows if i reach three shes getting a spanking. I have only spanked her around 4 times and it wasnt hardly a spanking. Some people dont agree with spanking but I do it gets them in control but as I have said I rarely have to spank them I just get my mad mommy voice and they chill out. I wasnt much help but thought id share! timeout works on my kids too so again NO help!!

02-02-2006, 08:03 AM	#6
ytsirk27 BANNED FOR SCAMMING MEMBERS! Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Kansas Posts: 2,811	I have also started an allowance with my children..both of them..Savannah (the youngest) cant do much but she tries and Cheyanne has specific chores she has to do or no money!

02-02-2006, 08:12 AM	#11
cheryl000 YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: none Posts: 1,495	I have noticed with the younger kids it's easier if you help them along. Like don't just tell them to pick up their toys, but assist them in it. But if that doesn't work, or you have an older child that won't pick up his room, get the trashbag out and "throw things away." Then really put it in the garage. I did this with Dominick's train set that he wouldn't put away last week. Then you say, "Okay, you better pick up the rest of the room or the trash bag is coming." Or even say, "Remember last week when the trashbag came?" This works on my son and my nephew VERY well. Just be prepared for crying. But I don't like spanking because I was spanked as a child so I do that as a last resort. I remember when I was young I was very bad about listening to my parents. I resented them. I believe that every kid in the family tries to find their place. Since getting good grades (I had straight A's) wasn't earning the attention that my older and younger sister were getting I choose not to listen to my parents when they told me to do chores. The only thing that really worked on my was good old fashioned praise. When I do something I have alot of pride in it and I thrive on recognition. I wouldn't clean the house if my parents where there. But if I knew my parents were going to be gone for hours, I would round my sisters up and we would clean the house and cook my parents dinner. I loved it if my parents praised me for that. So what I'm saying is that we have to teach kids the real reason why we do chores and do have pride in it. Rewards even only go so far because then they're just doing it for the money and then they will expect it every time. Have you had a family conference to sit down and talk about everything? Encourage the kids to put everything on the table and talk about it. This is really important since it's giving you so many family problems. I would also try to read some books to get some ideas. Dr. Phil wrote a good one but I can't remember the name. Good luck and I hope this helps.

02-02-2006, 08:36 AM	#15
kittendes Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: May 2005 Location: Perkasie, PA Posts: 214	The only chart we used with very good success was a Potty Chart. My daughter loves putting the stickers on her chart. As far as cleaning up, my daughter is not so good. I also use the trashbag, I tell her if I have to pick up her toys they will be put in the trash. A few times she tried calling my bluff, until I really picked up her toys and put them in the trash can. You want to talk about a crying session, but she cleaned up & we discussed why her toy went there & then I give it back. She no longer call my bluff. If something gets really out of hand, time outs do work for her. Desiree